Can You See Me Now?

Jaken looked around Rin’s room quietly. There were piles of books everywhere not to metion chalk, paper, and pencils all over her desks, too; he could tell that she was devoted to her witchcraft. Turning around, Jaken walked down the hall while looking at his feet. Reaching the end of the hallway, he climbed down the stairs and paused to look out the window.

He saw Rin training with Hiko and his men. She was laughing and her eyes held a certain spark to them. For years, Jaken has waited to hear that laughter, to see that smile, but when he returned he didn’t see his Rin, he saw someone completely different, he saw someone who held so much pain inside. She did not laugh and act all carefree around him and Lord Sesshomaru like she used to, she now held a certain bitterness towards them.

He felt like he knew the reason. Rin loved Lord Sesshomaru with all her heart and when he left her there by herself, with no one to watch her with care, she felt abandoned. Jaken saw the hurt expression in her eyes when Lord Sesshomaru hurt her earlier, both physically and verbally. He himself was shocked at what Lord Sesshomaru did to her.

That just gave Rin more of an excuse to hate him. Right now she was hurt beyond reason, for seven years she has held in that hurt and anger towards them and he didn’t know what to do about that. For god sakes, she gave away her humanity because she thought that she didn’t need it anymore after what Lord Sesshomaru did to her.

Sighing at his thoughts, Jaken walked down the rest of the stairs and let his feet take him anywhere. Looking up, he found himself standing in front of Lord Sesshomaru’s office. Raising a hand to knock on it, he hesitated when he heard a crash and a low growl.

Opening the door slightly, he slid in, his head only showing slightly, and saw Sesshomaru’s things from his desk thrown towards the floor. Behind Sesshomaru, Jaken saw a dent in the wall. Looking at him walking around his office in anger, he noticed that his eyes were red. It was clearly obvious that Sesshomaru was either angry at himself or at Rin, but he was angry none the less.

Faintly, he could hear Rin’s laughter from outside. He noticed that Sesshomaru heard it, too. His face turned thoughtful for a second and for a brief moment, he saw Lord Sesshomaru’s face filled with so much pain and sorrow. Closing the door quietly, Jaken left him alone. Lord Sesshomaru didn’t deserve to be spied on when he was so vulnerable right now.

Jaken knew that his lord loved Rin but was too stubborn to admit it. He was a man full of pride and it would take him centuries before he would admit something like that, especially to himself.

Looking out at the window again he saw Rin jump onto Hiko’s back for a piggy back ride. Looking at her with sad eyes, he whispered, “Can’t you see how much he cares, Rin? For years I had to see him turn even more distant after you were gone. You were always on his mind, you were always the one he thought of the most.”