This Is My Happy Ending

“Ugh. Leave me alone.”, I groaned, pushing the wet thing away from me.

My eyes opened, and I saw Goldie standing on my torso, licking every part of my face she could reach. I heard a soft chuckle, and my head whipped in the direction. I almost screamed when I saw Gerard in bed next to me, propping himself up on his arm and watching me.

“How are you feeling this morning?”, he asked, ruffling Goldie’s ears.

“What the hell are you doing in my bed?”, I asked, pulling the covers up until it reached my chin.

“Don’t you remember what happened last night?”, he asked, staring at me.

Then I remembered the dream. The fear I had felt, and the images flashed back into my mind. I jumped up and made it to the bathroom just in time, and hurled all the contents of my stomach out.

“Are you all right?”, he asked worriedly from the doorway.

“Yes.”, I mumbled, brushing my teeth vigorously.

He stood in the doorway, seemingly undecided, before he shrugged and walked back. A moment later I heard my bedroom door close. I showered quickly, washing off all the sweat, and feeling clean and fresh again. Goldie was howling outside the shower, scratching at the doors. I turned off the water, and wrapped a towel around my body before picking her up. She tried desperately to lick my face, but I pushed her tiny head away gently.

I put her down and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, slipping my feet into a pair of white flats. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and walked down to the kitchen, Goldie trailing along behind me. The tantalizing scent of blueberry pancakes filled the air. My mind spinned, and once again vivid colors popped in front of my eyes. I only saw a flash of two people standing in a kitchen, kissing while blueberry pancakes baked.

“Are you okay?”, I heard a worried voice ask behind me.

I blinked, shaking my head to get rid of the image, and turned around to see Gerard standing on the stairs, a worried expression on his face. He was fully dressed, his still wet hair flopping into his eyes.

“Yeah.”, I said.

“Because I’ve been standing here for five minutes, and you haven’t moved a muscle.”, he said as he continued walking down the stairs.

“I’m fine.”, I mumbled, walking into the kitchen.
I sat down, and my mom placed a plate of the pancakes in front of me. Gerard sat down opposite me, and I could feel his eyes burning on me, but I ignored him. Goldie was jumping up against my leg, pleading for a piece of the pancake. I smiled, breaking a piece off and giving it to her. She gulped it down, and started jumping against me again.

“So, what did you dream about last night?”, Gerard asked curiously, breaking the silence.

“Don’t remember.”, I lied quickly, trying to repress the vivid images.

“Don’t lie. I know you do.”, he pressed.

“Fine. If you really want to hear, I suggest you stop eating, except if you don’t have a weak stomach.”, I said with a smirk.

“I don’t have a weak stomach.”, he said defiantly.

“Okay, if you say so. I was dreaming that Goldie was howling somewhere in the house, and I went to search for her. she was in the attic, behind a closed door. I opened the door, picked her up, and then the light started flickering. A cold wind blew in, and I heard feet scuffling around. Suddenly someone started whispering my name, and I ran to the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Then the same voice kept saying that I killed our child, and I told it that I didn’t. Goldie had been howling and wriggling non-stop, and then I noticed that she had stop. I looked down, and there was a dead, rotting baby in my arms. That’s when I started screaming. Then I looked up, and there was a face in front of me, busy rotting away as well. The brains were in his mouth and spilling out of his ears, and a maggot had crawled up into his nose.”, I said, and by now Gerard had turned a light green, and I wasn’t feeling so great myself. “I started screaming again, and it lifted its arm, and I saw a blade shining in the moonlight. That’s all. I woke up then from my mom throwing a glass of water out on my face.”, I finished, shivering and feeling nauseous.

“It must have been horrible.”, he whispered, his eyes wide.

“Oh, honey! I knew we shouldn’t have told you about the baby!”, my mom cried out, clutching my hand.

“It’s okay, mom. I had a right to know.”, I said, taking a small bite, testing if I was able to hold it down.

I smiled with relief, and took another bite. We ate quietly, and I felt a slight sense of satisfaction that Gerard wasn’t so perfect as he thought he was.

‘Or you thought.’, my consciousness said quietly.

“Shut up.”, I growled, making my mom and Gerard look up in surprise.

“Sorry.”, I mumbled, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

I gulped down the rest of the pancakes and the scalding coffee, burning my mouth in the process. With a mumbled excuse I jumped out of my chair and ran to my room, smiling when I heard Goldie’s small paws thumping behind me. I stripped off my clothes and pulled on my swimsuit, putting on a pair of shorts and a bright T-shirt over it. I slipped my feet into a pair of flip flops and grabbed a towel from my bathroom. I walked down the stairs, and poked my head around the wall of the kitchen.

“Mom, do you mind if I go to the beach?”, I asked her.

“Not at all, dear. Just be careful. The keys are hanging behind the door.”, she replied with a smile.

“Thanks.”, I said, and bounded to the door.

I grabbed the keys, closing the door before Goldie could run out, and walked to the car. I threw my towel on the backseat, and reversed out of the driveway, waiting impatiently for the gates to open. I sped out, and waited again for the gates to close before I sped down the street to the highway. I turned on the radio, and heard the intro to a song I’ve never heard before. I liked it immediately, and waited eagerly for the person to say what the songs name was. Apparently it was “It Ends Tonight” from the All-American Rejects. The name rang a bell, but I shrugged it off, refusing to get irritated because I couldn’t remember.

I pulled into a parking lot, and smiled widely when I heard the soothing crashing from the waves. It was high tide today, just the way I liked it. I threw my towel over my shoulders as I ran to the edge of the water, and stood there, looking out over the sea while the water licked at my feet. The sun sparkled on the surface, making it sparkle like sapphires.

“It’s so beautiful.”, I sighed softly to myself.

“Just like you.”, a voice said softly behind me.

I saw an image of two people standing on the beach, staring out over the water, the guys arms circled around the girl’s waist. She was leaning back against him, his chin resting on her shoulder. I blinked, and whirled around. I sighed irritably when I saw Gerard standing there, a far-off look on his face, like he was remembering something special.

“I wish you could remember that. It was one of our happier days.”, he said softly, his voice filled with regret.

“Is there a specific reason for that?”, I asked quietly.

“Yes. It was the day we fully told our feelings to each other. It was one of the greatest days of my life.”, he said with a happy smile.
“Oh.”, I said, and quickly walked away.

I walked along the edge of the water, going deeper until it reached the middle of my calves. The water was luke warm, a pleasant feeling along with the sun beating down on my head. I lifted my head, letting the sun caress my face. I wanted to have a Baby Shower for Amber, and decided to call our friends later when I got home.

“Why do you keep avoiding me?”, his voice asked behind me again.

“Why do you keep following me?”, I asked angrily, my voice rising.

I never seemed to have any time to myself anymore, he always popped up out of thin air. He was close, too close, for my comfort, his body practically touching mine. I could feel the tension crackling between us in the air, and it felt as if my body was pulled to his like a magnet. I turned away quickly, and a piece of seaweed got caught around my feet, sending me falling face first into the water. A moment later I was pulled out, spluttering and spitting out water.

“Are you all right?”, he asked, a laugh in his voice.

“Yes.”, I snapped, shivering.

He pulled me against him, holding me tightly and ignoring my attempts to break free. I groaned inwardly at this awkward position, and nipped the soft flesh of his arm.

“Ow!”, he cried out, letting go of me.

The moment I was free I took off on a sprint, and jumped into the car, locking the doors and speeding away. I laughed loudly at his surprised expression as he stood on the beach, staring after me. I sang along loudly to “If It Makes You Happy” from Sheryl Crow.

The moment I opened the front door, Goldie jumped at me. I opened my arms, catching her, and walked to my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I put her down on my bed, and got into the shower, washing off all the salt on my skin. I got out and blow dried my hair. It hung in the middle of my back now, in shining waves. I pulled on the jeans and T-shirt I had been wearing before I went to the beach, and called Chelsea, Irena and Kate on the three-way call my mom had installed for me.

“Hey guys, it’s Shell.”, I said when they answered.

“Hey!”, they chorused, making me giggle.

“So, I was thinking about giving Amber a baby shower. I mean, the baby is due in a month, and I want to do something for her, because I wasn’t there when she got married.”, I explained quickly.

“That sounds like a great idea!”, Kate said enthusiastically.

“Guys, I have great news too.”, Irena said, her voice excited.

“What?”, Chelsea demanded.

“I’m pregnant too!”, Irena exclaimed loudly.

“That’s great, Irena!”, I congratulated my friend.

“Yeah, it is. How far are you?”, Kate asked.

“About three months. I was wearing loose clothes when we all got together, that’s why you couldn’t see the tiny bump.”, she said.

“Tell Ray I said congrats. Why don’t we all go for coffee tomorrow morning, and then we can discuss this. We’ll put Amber’s and yours together, is that all right?”, I asked Irena.

“Of course. I’ll call her and let her know.”, she said.

We talked for a while more, decided where to go the next morning, and hung up. I lay down on my bed, pulling Goldie into my arms. I stared at the canopy of my four-poster bed, sighing loudly. Goldie seemed to sense my unhappiness, because she licked me, and snuggled into my neck. Tears sprang into my eyes, and I sniffled loudly, a knot growing in my throat.

“I feel so lonely, Golds. All my friends are married, and two of them are pregnant. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much. I lost a baby, that I didn’t even know I was expecting.”, I said, and something seemed to click in my brain.

“Oh my gosh! I didn’t know that I was pregnant! Do you know how important it was for me to know that?”, I asked her, kissing her small nose.

Relief had washed over me. I knew for certain that the nightmare wouldn’t come back again, and felt extremely happy about it. Goldie wriggled in my arms, and jumped off, scratching at my door. I sighed and stood up, unlocking it and opening the door for her. She trotted out, her tongue lolling out at the side of her mouth. I went back to the bed, and lay down again, closing my eyes. I suddenly felt extremely tired, my eyelids were heavy. I watched the dust motes dancing in the sunlight streaming through my window, and fell asleep.

I heard Goldie howling, and it seemed as if I was outside of my body as I watched myself stand up, going to search for the howling pup. It was dark in the hallway as I followed myself. I walked behind her up the stairs to the attic, watched her open the door and Goldie jumping into her arms. I saw the lights flicker, and felt the cold wind blowing in. suddenly I was back inside of myself, and heard the scuffling feet. I ran to the door, rattling it, but it wouldn’t budge. I felt something sweep over me, and turned around so that my back was against the wall.

“Shell.”

I heard a voice say my name. Goldie was wriggling and howling in my arms. I looked down, petting her, and trying to soothe us both. I realized that the dream was missing parts, and felt confused. I wasn’t supposed to know that this was a dream. My heart beat sped up, beating frantically. I could feel the sweat pouring down my back as I started panicking.

“Shell, you killed me.”, the voice whispered.

I looked up, screaming when I saw the face in front of me, even though I was sure I knew it was going to be there. Was I going crazy or something? Both the eyes were only black holes, and bugs started crawling out of the holes where the eyes were supposed to be, out of the nose and the ears. He opened his mouth, and a big snake slithered out, baring his fangs. I could see the venom dripping off of the points, and screamed in pain when it bit me.

“Shell, wake up!”, Gerard yelled, shaking me roughly.

I was panting, my breathing coming out in gasps as I sat upright, hugging my knees to my chest, rocking myself. Sweat was pouring down my body, my hair was plastered to the back of my neck. My eyes were wide, and I could feel the blood draining out of me. My neck was throbbing from where the snake had bit me in my dream, and I quickly made sure that there weren’t two gaping holes there.

“Ge-Gee, I’m scared.”, I stammered, shaking violently.

He sat down next to me, and pulled me into his arms gently, rocking me slightly. I noticed that my room was pitch-black, and looked at my alarm clock. It was half past two in the morning. That meant that I had been sleeping from half past three in the afternoon till now, without interruption.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here now.”, Gerard whispered soothingly.

He lay down, still holding me, and pulling me down with him. He pulled me closer to his body, stroking my hair. It had a very calming effect on me, and soon enough I had fallen asleep again.

I stirred slightly, a smile playing on my face when I felt his warm body against mine. My eyes opened quickly, and I gasped softly when I thought about what I had just felt. I was feeling happy that he was next to me! In bed! I crawled out, running quietly to my bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flaming and my eyes were shining brightly. I grimaced, and pulled off my clothes, getting into the shower.

When I got out, I peeked through the key hole of the door, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the bed and my room was empty. I slipped out, and quickly dressed in a knee length black skirt and a soft yellow shirt, slipping my feet into a pair of black flats. I grabbed my purse and jacket, and wrote my mom a quick note, explaining where I was. I walked out to the car, and drove to the mall.

Chelsea, Amber, Irena and Kate were already seated in the small, chick café we had arranged to meet at. They waved, smiling widely when they saw me, and I made my way over to them.

“Hey guys.”, I greeted as I sat down.

Amber was practically glowing, and Chelsea was close on her way to the same look of pure happiness. The waiter came to take our order, and after he walked away, we started discussing the baby shower.

“Do you know what yours is yet?”, I asked Amber.

“Yes. It’s twins, a boy and girl.”, she said, a bright smile lighting up her face.

“Are you serious? Oh my gosh, that’s great!”, Chelsea exclaimed.

“And you, Irena? Do you know what yours are yet?”, Kate asked after the first excitement had died down.

“It’s a boy.”, she replied.

“Great, so that’s many blue and a few pink. You two shouldn’t go and get pregnant now, otherwise I’m going to be broke before the end of the month.”, I joked.

The food arrived, and we all ate quickly, talking in between bites. We drank a last coffee before heading off to the shops, searching for the perfect baby clothes and toys. Kate and Irena walked together, but the rest of us all went separately. After three hours we got back together at the cashiers, hiding our buys from the two pregnant women’s’ view.

“We’ll see you Saturday morning, at ten, all right?”, Kate said.

“Sure.”, I said, carrying all the presents to my car, depositing them on the backseats.

I walked back to the front and got in, speeding away. The car was silent, only the sound of the wind blowing in through my open window could be heard. The wind was whipping my hair back out of my face, burning my eyes, and I fished out my Gucci sunglasses from my handbag.

“Hey, I’m back home!”, I called out when I walked into the house.

Goldie came running down the stairs, jumping up against me. I laughed as I bent down to ruffle her ears. When I looked up again, Gerard was standing in front of me, his face set with determination. I gulped nervously, staring into his eyes.

“Shell, I’m not waiting any longer.”, he said hoarsely before crashing his lips onto mine.

Electricity shot up and down my body, making my hair stand up on end and goose bumps appear on my arms. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him close, and he deepened the kiss, his arms circling around my waist.

Suddenly everything that had happened since the day I realized I had fallen in love with Gerard came back to me. My eyes popped open, and with a strangled cry, I pulled out of his hold and ran to my room, sobs racking my entire body.