Pothead Poltergeists
My Hit, His Miss
“I’m fine honey, it’s ok,” he tried to tell Adrienne as she helped him up, but the words came out mumbled. Adrienne is such a strong woman. I hate to see her so hurt. I hate to see the look on any of their faces. Joey and Jakob had come out of the store and were sitting confused on the other side of the street. I’m glad they hadn’t seen that. They didn’t know what had happened yet.
Our wobbly zombie forms all sort of hobbled back onto the sidewalk and police arrived at some point when I really wasn’t paying attention. Then life seemed to take on an assembly line form. There was the questioning and the clean up.
I just sat on a wood bench and observed. No one knew quite what happened. Billie kept looking my way, and the officers could not understand why he was not hit.
I hardly had it figured out for myself really, but at least I had some idea; seeing as I was right in the fucking middle of the four-way car-pileup slash a pedestrian crash. And goddamn, the poor pedestrian.
Billie looked close to tears again by the end and just had to say he didn’t know. He didn’t know how he lived through that, and he didn’t see what happened. But of course, he knew exactly what happened. He just couldn’t say it. And he was frustrated. Because he couldn’t say it maybe? I don’t know, but I kept wishing they would just leave him and Adie alone.
As for the man who was driving the car; I had never seen anyone so sorry. He looked gray in the face and heartbroken like he had actually hit Billie. Poor guy. All he did was let his guard down for a few seconds.
My body was hurting. I couldn’t tell why. And I was getting cold here. I tried to make it stop, but this time it wasn’t working. I couldn’t pin point what hurt even. It was just everything.
When they were finally aloud to go home, I jumped through the car, and for some reason that made me feel worse. A little bit sick. But I think it must just be the day. And it was late. Real late, so the boys were asleep in the back of the car when we pulled up in the drive way. I slumped down onto the couch safe inside.
I hurt. I think I know what is going on though. Adie stepped on the first few planks of the stairway to check on the boys, and Billie said he would be right up. She gave him a worried look, but went upstairs with a kiss to the corner of his mouth. I could still hear the clip clap of her heels hitting the wood under the carpet of the stairs. Billie Joe looked after her for a second. I didn’t say anything.
Billie sat down next to me and fell silent. He took a deep breath. “Thank you. I can never thank you enough for that.” He was staring at his feet, but as he said it, he looked up and hugged me. I put my arms around him too and just sat there. It’s a simple hug, but he really means it; one of those hugs where your hair touches and you just sit there a few more seconds with the other person.
It’s one of those hugs with someone you know at least fairly well, but not too well necessarily, someone you really like, you wonder if they like you, and you wonder if they think the hug is too long, but they hold on too, and you wonder if it’s them that’s holding onto you or it’s you who’s being clingy, but you don’t let go until they do and you realize that it was just one of those hugs that is oddly and wonderfully…equivalent on both of your parts and needed to be at that moment because something important has happened and a hug like that made it all right again. If that made any sense at all…
But this is not a love interest, and this is not a test. It’s just one of those hugs.
“You know,” he said more quietly even, “at least I do know something. At least, after I thought about it, I don’t want to go, but if I had to, I wouldn’t do anything in my life different than what I’m doing now.”
I wanted to say some random things that came to mind at his words, but instead I just smiled and said what he really needed to know, “That’s good. You’ll be all right then.”
~~~
I shot straight up on the couch. There wasn’t any reason that I could remember, but I had this feeling of being ticked off for no particular reason. Must have been in a dream. The TV is on in the living room so I turn around and come face to cheek with Mike Dirnt who almost gives me a fucking heart attack. Holy fuck!
He’s just sitting there right by me in a black beanie with his laid across the back of the couch behind Billie’s head who is sitting beside him. Billie sees me and gives a slight smile, and then there’s Tre on the other side who is completely sprawled out on the entire rest of the couch with his feet in Billie Joe’s lap. Thank punk it’s a big couch. You can tell he’s just being a smart ass taking up as much room as he possibly can. Everyone there is just in plain t-shirt and jeans; minus Tre who’s got on some bright plaid ones. He never fails to crack me up.
I rub my eyes and look to the screen. Raiders. Three guys sitting on their asses watching Oakland beat the crap about of some other team dressed in red. It made me smile. I really would have laughed out loud had Billie not been able to hear it.
I guess Billie Joe seems all right now. I was a bit worried about him last night, but he seems to have forgotten it right now. Maybe that’s why the band is here at the house. Shouldn’t they be practicing?
Our wobbly zombie forms all sort of hobbled back onto the sidewalk and police arrived at some point when I really wasn’t paying attention. Then life seemed to take on an assembly line form. There was the questioning and the clean up.
I just sat on a wood bench and observed. No one knew quite what happened. Billie kept looking my way, and the officers could not understand why he was not hit.
I hardly had it figured out for myself really, but at least I had some idea; seeing as I was right in the fucking middle of the four-way car-pileup slash a pedestrian crash. And goddamn, the poor pedestrian.
Billie looked close to tears again by the end and just had to say he didn’t know. He didn’t know how he lived through that, and he didn’t see what happened. But of course, he knew exactly what happened. He just couldn’t say it. And he was frustrated. Because he couldn’t say it maybe? I don’t know, but I kept wishing they would just leave him and Adie alone.
As for the man who was driving the car; I had never seen anyone so sorry. He looked gray in the face and heartbroken like he had actually hit Billie. Poor guy. All he did was let his guard down for a few seconds.
My body was hurting. I couldn’t tell why. And I was getting cold here. I tried to make it stop, but this time it wasn’t working. I couldn’t pin point what hurt even. It was just everything.
When they were finally aloud to go home, I jumped through the car, and for some reason that made me feel worse. A little bit sick. But I think it must just be the day. And it was late. Real late, so the boys were asleep in the back of the car when we pulled up in the drive way. I slumped down onto the couch safe inside.
I hurt. I think I know what is going on though. Adie stepped on the first few planks of the stairway to check on the boys, and Billie said he would be right up. She gave him a worried look, but went upstairs with a kiss to the corner of his mouth. I could still hear the clip clap of her heels hitting the wood under the carpet of the stairs. Billie Joe looked after her for a second. I didn’t say anything.
Billie sat down next to me and fell silent. He took a deep breath. “Thank you. I can never thank you enough for that.” He was staring at his feet, but as he said it, he looked up and hugged me. I put my arms around him too and just sat there. It’s a simple hug, but he really means it; one of those hugs where your hair touches and you just sit there a few more seconds with the other person.
It’s one of those hugs with someone you know at least fairly well, but not too well necessarily, someone you really like, you wonder if they like you, and you wonder if they think the hug is too long, but they hold on too, and you wonder if it’s them that’s holding onto you or it’s you who’s being clingy, but you don’t let go until they do and you realize that it was just one of those hugs that is oddly and wonderfully…equivalent on both of your parts and needed to be at that moment because something important has happened and a hug like that made it all right again. If that made any sense at all…
But this is not a love interest, and this is not a test. It’s just one of those hugs.
“You know,” he said more quietly even, “at least I do know something. At least, after I thought about it, I don’t want to go, but if I had to, I wouldn’t do anything in my life different than what I’m doing now.”
I wanted to say some random things that came to mind at his words, but instead I just smiled and said what he really needed to know, “That’s good. You’ll be all right then.”
~~~
I shot straight up on the couch. There wasn’t any reason that I could remember, but I had this feeling of being ticked off for no particular reason. Must have been in a dream. The TV is on in the living room so I turn around and come face to cheek with Mike Dirnt who almost gives me a fucking heart attack. Holy fuck!
He’s just sitting there right by me in a black beanie with his laid across the back of the couch behind Billie’s head who is sitting beside him. Billie sees me and gives a slight smile, and then there’s Tre on the other side who is completely sprawled out on the entire rest of the couch with his feet in Billie Joe’s lap. Thank punk it’s a big couch. You can tell he’s just being a smart ass taking up as much room as he possibly can. Everyone there is just in plain t-shirt and jeans; minus Tre who’s got on some bright plaid ones. He never fails to crack me up.
I rub my eyes and look to the screen. Raiders. Three guys sitting on their asses watching Oakland beat the crap about of some other team dressed in red. It made me smile. I really would have laughed out loud had Billie not been able to hear it.
I guess Billie Joe seems all right now. I was a bit worried about him last night, but he seems to have forgotten it right now. Maybe that’s why the band is here at the house. Shouldn’t they be practicing?