Pothead Poltergeists
My ***ed Up Equilibrium
“How do you know?” he looked worriedly at me.
“My whole body aches, and I’m cold, and I can’t make it stop anymore.” He put a hand on my shoulder.
“What should we do?”
“Stay here tonight. Then I think I should hitch back home.”
“By yourself?”
I shrugged. “That’s how I go here. It’s fine. I’m already dead.”
He smiles at that. “I could drive you.”
“Oh, no I don’t want to make you do that.”
“No, really. I want to. You’re still alive maybe. I could help.”
“How would you get away?”
“I’ll say…well, you don’t live too far…I’ll say something. It wouldn’t be hard. Don’t worry about that. You really look tired.”
“Yeah,” I shrug.
“Lie down, and you go to sleep.”
He goes to hug me again, and I whisper, “Okay, good night.”
He looked back at me from the hallway. “’Night.”
~~~
Before I know what is going on the next morning, I’m in Billie’s car and we are zooming down the highway. I feel sort of out of it right now. I feel sick, but I don’t know how. Billie obviously keeps forgetting that I am not really alive and keeps asking if I’m okay. Well, I’m not really okay, but I don’t know what’s the matter.
Plus, there is nothing that either one of us can really do about it at this moment. I did actually try taking a couple Advil, but it didn’t help. It was worth a try.
After what only seemed to be a couple of minutes – though it must have been awhile because we went through a whole album of My Chemical Romance – I start to recognize the road and the trees again. I can remember them saying they had been listening to it while on tour with those guys. It happened to be the CD in the car at the time. Made me happy. Then the played flipped albums at the end of it and went to something Misfits.
And then I know the roads. I should know them well enough by now, but now I see the roads that were close to home enough that I see them all the time. I know exactly where we are, “Get off here, Billie.” He took the next exist.
“Where am I taking you?”
I sat and thought for a moment. I kind of wanted to just go home now, but there is no way I could take him with me, and I was in no hurry to see my family at this moment. I missed them of course. But the fact was, I was sort of nervous about that. Or would all this even work. I really haven’t a fucking clue what I am doing back here.
“Let’s go to the hospital.” If I go back to the hospital and see my body again, will I just die? No, that seems like a silly idea. Oh, I don’t have a fucking clue what all this means or what the hell I am supposed to do except guess. I suppose all I can do is follow the feeling in my gut; and my gut hurts at the moment, so that’s kind of hard to focus on.
Okay, rephrase that, follow my head. Oh well, not much else to do. My head feels like it’s going to hell now too so I’ll take a chance. I show Billie the way there. At least he’s with me. I don’t feel so scared.
You know, I am so happy that he is with me actually. I don’t know how I am going to thank him. I probably could have eventually gotten back on my own, but because he’s here, I feel like I’ll figure it out. If not, maybe I can just go back with him. It’ll be all right.
We park. Billie unbuckles his seat belt and looks at me when I don’t move. “Look, I really have no idea what is going on still, but I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
Well, that just about made me want to cry. He really does care. And I don’t say that because he’s Billie Joe Armstrong. I say that because it feels good when a person who matters to you cares. It’s like that for anyone in your life.
“I really have no clue what I am doing here either. I just want to go see me.” I pushed my way out through the closed car door. Billie watched me. “Yep, you’re still crazy Billie, don’t worry.”
“My whole body aches, and I’m cold, and I can’t make it stop anymore.” He put a hand on my shoulder.
“What should we do?”
“Stay here tonight. Then I think I should hitch back home.”
“By yourself?”
I shrugged. “That’s how I go here. It’s fine. I’m already dead.”
He smiles at that. “I could drive you.”
“Oh, no I don’t want to make you do that.”
“No, really. I want to. You’re still alive maybe. I could help.”
“How would you get away?”
“I’ll say…well, you don’t live too far…I’ll say something. It wouldn’t be hard. Don’t worry about that. You really look tired.”
“Yeah,” I shrug.
“Lie down, and you go to sleep.”
He goes to hug me again, and I whisper, “Okay, good night.”
He looked back at me from the hallway. “’Night.”
~~~
Before I know what is going on the next morning, I’m in Billie’s car and we are zooming down the highway. I feel sort of out of it right now. I feel sick, but I don’t know how. Billie obviously keeps forgetting that I am not really alive and keeps asking if I’m okay. Well, I’m not really okay, but I don’t know what’s the matter.
Plus, there is nothing that either one of us can really do about it at this moment. I did actually try taking a couple Advil, but it didn’t help. It was worth a try.
After what only seemed to be a couple of minutes – though it must have been awhile because we went through a whole album of My Chemical Romance – I start to recognize the road and the trees again. I can remember them saying they had been listening to it while on tour with those guys. It happened to be the CD in the car at the time. Made me happy. Then the played flipped albums at the end of it and went to something Misfits.
And then I know the roads. I should know them well enough by now, but now I see the roads that were close to home enough that I see them all the time. I know exactly where we are, “Get off here, Billie.” He took the next exist.
“Where am I taking you?”
I sat and thought for a moment. I kind of wanted to just go home now, but there is no way I could take him with me, and I was in no hurry to see my family at this moment. I missed them of course. But the fact was, I was sort of nervous about that. Or would all this even work. I really haven’t a fucking clue what I am doing back here.
“Let’s go to the hospital.” If I go back to the hospital and see my body again, will I just die? No, that seems like a silly idea. Oh, I don’t have a fucking clue what all this means or what the hell I am supposed to do except guess. I suppose all I can do is follow the feeling in my gut; and my gut hurts at the moment, so that’s kind of hard to focus on.
Okay, rephrase that, follow my head. Oh well, not much else to do. My head feels like it’s going to hell now too so I’ll take a chance. I show Billie the way there. At least he’s with me. I don’t feel so scared.
You know, I am so happy that he is with me actually. I don’t know how I am going to thank him. I probably could have eventually gotten back on my own, but because he’s here, I feel like I’ll figure it out. If not, maybe I can just go back with him. It’ll be all right.
We park. Billie unbuckles his seat belt and looks at me when I don’t move. “Look, I really have no idea what is going on still, but I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
Well, that just about made me want to cry. He really does care. And I don’t say that because he’s Billie Joe Armstrong. I say that because it feels good when a person who matters to you cares. It’s like that for anyone in your life.
“I really have no clue what I am doing here either. I just want to go see me.” I pushed my way out through the closed car door. Billie watched me. “Yep, you’re still crazy Billie, don’t worry.”