Pothead Poltergeists
Ha Ha You’re Dead?
And the two boys kept talking and talking. It seemed like I was actually there in the conversation. On the way, we picked up Joey at his middle school. I don’t know how we got there so fast, but Billie Joe obviously knows the way well. Joey looks so much like his mom, but he dresses like his dad. But then again, Jake sort of does too.
Joey sat in the front seat next to his dad. Whenever Billie would look back because Jakob was trying desperately to keep interrupting, Billie seemed to be looking my way before he looked to his son. What the hell was going on? It was kind of scaring me now.
Was he trying to see me? Did he know that something was there? Well, I was not about to leave. I’m not done here in Berkeley.
There, he did it again. Wait, no, I really just must be on something, and I’m being hypersensitive. He can’t look all the way to Jake because he’s driving the car; that’s all. My mom does that too. Usually when we say, “Look! Look at this!” and she sort of pretends to look before switching back to the road before we hit something. He wouldn’t do it if he knew I we here. Watching.
When we successfully pulled into the Armstrong’s garage, Jake and Joey run inside the house slamming the inside garage door open with a bang and both yelling for “MOM!”
“HI BILLIE!” we both heard Adie call from inside.
“I’ll be right there!” Billie called after them and opened the back door across from my seat. He looked confused, grabbed his guitar out from the car floor under me real fast and set it outside. He scratched the back of his neck. Then he bent over the seat and simply reached forward and poked me. “HUH!” I gasped and his head hit the ceiling of the car. I’m afraid I let out a little bit of an extremely girly scream before my hands flew to cover my mouth.
“Shit!”
“Billie?” I felt him touch me that time.
“Fuck!”
“Billie Joe?”
“What?” he sat there looking dumbfounded. “What the fuck is going on?”
Did he actually hear me? “Billie? You can…do you hear me?” I said it really quietly; more like I was talking to myself. Fuck, this was embarrassing!
Billie Joe looked horribly like he wanted nothing more than to run away. “I am going fucking crazy.” He got up, turned around and shook it off. Then he carefully looked back to where I was sitting in the car.
“Fuck!” he fell back against the side of the wall into the bikes. “What the fuck is this?!”
Well, this was just fucking great. He can see me. But how the fuck did that happen? “Billie, you can see me?”
Can we all just say “fuck” one more time please? Everyone just stop reading and say “fuck” with me once here, ok, ready? “Fuck!”
“What – yeah – I mean…”
“Holy shit, I’m sorry!” I climbed out and he stepped away and ran towards the door. He walked into the kitchen all ruffled, and I ran up behind where we found Adrienne back from the grocery store. Bags were lining the counter and she was reaching up to put cereal away in the cabinet.
“Hi sweetie!” she said dropping things and came over to give him a kiss. He kissed her too, but was looking around wildly at the same time. “You ok?”
“Uh, yeah. Just thought I saw something weird.”
“Ok, well, help me put away the groceries,” she said ignoring the last part.
“Ok.” Billie said as Adrienne turned around. Billie did an about-face to pick up a bag, but he turned to face me and jumped staring at me wildly. He closed his eyes, rushed to put away the food and ran out of the room leaving Adie with a puzzled look on her face.
This was making me worried. Did I tell you how fucked up this is right now?
I ran after Billie up the stairs, peered into his room and found him pacing back and forth across the floor in front of his bed talking to himself and scratching his head. There’s a Madison Square Gardens poster on the wall. I take another step forward into the bright slightly messy room, “Billie Joe?”
He whipped around and almost screamed. “Fucking stop that! What the hell’s going on!?”
“I’m sorry, I…well, truthfully, I don’t really know.” By now I had no idea what to say, and I was feeling pretty bad about it. I didn’t mean to scare the guy. So I ended up kind of standing there staring at my hands and twiddling my thumbs for a bit while he was left thinking he was going insane or something in the middle of his own house.
“This is a joke.”
“No, it’s not a joke.”
“Tre, you better come out right now,” he called falling back onto his bed. He sort of gave a laugh then; like he had figured it out. That was it. It’s all just a joke. Mike is probably hiding in the shower with something, and Tre is outside the door. Or maybe it’s the kids?
“It’s not a joke, Billie.”
Joey sat in the front seat next to his dad. Whenever Billie would look back because Jakob was trying desperately to keep interrupting, Billie seemed to be looking my way before he looked to his son. What the hell was going on? It was kind of scaring me now.
Was he trying to see me? Did he know that something was there? Well, I was not about to leave. I’m not done here in Berkeley.
There, he did it again. Wait, no, I really just must be on something, and I’m being hypersensitive. He can’t look all the way to Jake because he’s driving the car; that’s all. My mom does that too. Usually when we say, “Look! Look at this!” and she sort of pretends to look before switching back to the road before we hit something. He wouldn’t do it if he knew I we here. Watching.
When we successfully pulled into the Armstrong’s garage, Jake and Joey run inside the house slamming the inside garage door open with a bang and both yelling for “MOM!”
“HI BILLIE!” we both heard Adie call from inside.
“I’ll be right there!” Billie called after them and opened the back door across from my seat. He looked confused, grabbed his guitar out from the car floor under me real fast and set it outside. He scratched the back of his neck. Then he bent over the seat and simply reached forward and poked me. “HUH!” I gasped and his head hit the ceiling of the car. I’m afraid I let out a little bit of an extremely girly scream before my hands flew to cover my mouth.
“Shit!”
“Billie?” I felt him touch me that time.
“Fuck!”
“Billie Joe?”
“What?” he sat there looking dumbfounded. “What the fuck is going on?”
Did he actually hear me? “Billie? You can…do you hear me?” I said it really quietly; more like I was talking to myself. Fuck, this was embarrassing!
Billie Joe looked horribly like he wanted nothing more than to run away. “I am going fucking crazy.” He got up, turned around and shook it off. Then he carefully looked back to where I was sitting in the car.
“Fuck!” he fell back against the side of the wall into the bikes. “What the fuck is this?!”
Well, this was just fucking great. He can see me. But how the fuck did that happen? “Billie, you can see me?”
Can we all just say “fuck” one more time please? Everyone just stop reading and say “fuck” with me once here, ok, ready? “Fuck!”
“What – yeah – I mean…”
“Holy shit, I’m sorry!” I climbed out and he stepped away and ran towards the door. He walked into the kitchen all ruffled, and I ran up behind where we found Adrienne back from the grocery store. Bags were lining the counter and she was reaching up to put cereal away in the cabinet.
“Hi sweetie!” she said dropping things and came over to give him a kiss. He kissed her too, but was looking around wildly at the same time. “You ok?”
“Uh, yeah. Just thought I saw something weird.”
“Ok, well, help me put away the groceries,” she said ignoring the last part.
“Ok.” Billie said as Adrienne turned around. Billie did an about-face to pick up a bag, but he turned to face me and jumped staring at me wildly. He closed his eyes, rushed to put away the food and ran out of the room leaving Adie with a puzzled look on her face.
This was making me worried. Did I tell you how fucked up this is right now?
I ran after Billie up the stairs, peered into his room and found him pacing back and forth across the floor in front of his bed talking to himself and scratching his head. There’s a Madison Square Gardens poster on the wall. I take another step forward into the bright slightly messy room, “Billie Joe?”
He whipped around and almost screamed. “Fucking stop that! What the hell’s going on!?”
“I’m sorry, I…well, truthfully, I don’t really know.” By now I had no idea what to say, and I was feeling pretty bad about it. I didn’t mean to scare the guy. So I ended up kind of standing there staring at my hands and twiddling my thumbs for a bit while he was left thinking he was going insane or something in the middle of his own house.
“This is a joke.”
“No, it’s not a joke.”
“Tre, you better come out right now,” he called falling back onto his bed. He sort of gave a laugh then; like he had figured it out. That was it. It’s all just a joke. Mike is probably hiding in the shower with something, and Tre is outside the door. Or maybe it’s the kids?
“It’s not a joke, Billie.”