Rumored Nights

The dull throb through sleep became clearer, sharper with consciousness.

Alice had never had a hangover before but with just the sound of her breathing causing her head to pound she never wanted one again.

For a moment she was confused.

Her last conscious thought was... was making out with a random guy at the party, a memory she'd rather forget as it came with a side dish of overwhelming guilt, topped with a layer of disgust.

So of course Alice was surprised to find herself in her bed and in her pajamas wondering if it had ever happened.

Except of course there was the tell tale bottle of water and Advil awaiting her on her nightstand, next to her cell phone.

14 missed calls, 6 new messages.

Message one was this-

"Alice! Oh God answer your phone! Melanie is freaking out cause she turned away and when she looked back you were gone and we heard from someone you were with Dan and... Alice please let me know you're okay... oh this is Skye by the way."

"If you’re dead Alice so help me I'll kill you! I'm worried sick! For all I know you're lying dead in a ditch and... okay so I think the worst when I'm panicked... stop changing the subject! This is Jesse so you have no excuse not to call me back... unless you're dead of course."

"Alice? Alice?! Oh please... please... please tell me you're okay! I-, I swear I only turned around for a minute I didn't think you'd be gone or that you'd end up shit-faced with Dan Myers taking you upstairs... of all people it had to be him and... I don't care, just please call me, you have no idea how terrible I feel."

"Alice, this is Liz... where the fucking hell are you? We're worried fucking sick about you! Son of a bitch... Goddammit Alice answer your fucking phone!"

"Hey kid it's-, well you're not actually a kid... I'm younger than you... but anyway it's Max. Listen, I'm sure everyone else has called you by now but to restate the common belief, we're all-, well yeah... we're all worried about you Alice. Please let someone know you're alright so I can stop being circled by a bunch of worried pacing girls. I feel like some dead animal in the fucking desert. Okay... so yeah... oh this was Max."

With all of their voicemails Alice felt her guilt layering over a heartwarming appreciation for these people that had taken her under their wing.

With they're calls Alice had learned something new from each of them.

Aside from learning Liz cussed like a sailor when she was pissed, they had shed little light on the night's events.

But that was enough for Alice to forget the hangover in lieu of feeling so disgusted with being in her skin.

And then of course, there was the sixth voicemail.

It was from Ryan.

"Caroline called me... God Alice what the fuck were you thinking? Do you have any idea how stupid you were? Do you know how lucky you are that all you’re waking up with is a headache and a little shame? Fuck Ally... you were drinking and messing around and... and I don't even think I can talk to you any time soon. Alice I-, I'm really disappointed in you."

It was clear how strong Alice's bond with Ryan was knowing that it wouldn't have hurt so much if her mother had said the same words.

If she had felt terrible before it was nothing compared to now as the phone disappeared in the folds of her comforter.

She didn't even care about curing her hangover now, knowing it was all she deserved for her utter stupidity.

With the Advil left untouched Alice followed suit with her phone and crawled deeply under her covers attempting to disappear.

Time must have passed as an unmeasured while later her door creaked open and someone pulled the covers away.

"Come on Alice, you need to get up."

Caroline was unlike her brother in many ways, having more uncommon than shared, and one of their dividing grounds was Alice.

After William had left and she had managed to change and clean up Alice, Caroline panicked and did the only thing she could think of, that being calling her older brother.

Ryan was simply dramatic, an older brother who had a talent for blowing things out of proportions.

Where Caroline simply became put out with Alice for getting drunk like she did, Ryan was close to breaking necks.

His reaction shouldn't have surprised her, but it did.

Ryan took his role of older brother too seriously, bent on being the father figure to Alice and teaching her a lesson where he should've protected her, been her shoulder to cry on.

If he could see her now, so curled under the weight of her own shame, so lost in herself she hadn't even realized she was crying.

"Alice, oh, oh no don't cry." Caroline shushed, pulling her little sister closer in her arms.

"I'm such a fuck up." She sobbed limply. "It's no wonder Ryan's ashamed of me, or why William's ignoring me... they've realized I'm just not worth it."

It hurt Caroline to hear such an admittance of defeat from the girl who once used to bring a smile to a weeping face with a song or a toothless grin.

If only she knew the truth, how Caroline had to bandage William's swelling hand after he had carried her into her room, too far gone to notice him kiss her forehead.

He had tried to make a clean getaway but Caroline would have nothing of that without an explanation, and what an explanation it had been as they talked quietly under the stairs.

Caroline would've told her all of it if William hadn't sworn her to secrecy, having good enough reasons for her to suffer the tears.

All she could manage to comfort herself was knowing there would be a time and place for her to explain how William had saved her from making the biggest mistake of her life so far, it just wasn’t now.

She did wonder if Alice needed independence this much, if it was worth the painful road toward it.

But she had committed once she promised William, and with that came a responsibility to go above and beyond as an older sister.

"Alice, I never want to hear you say that again. Now you listen to me, you screwed up last night, mistakes like that are a part of life. I know you're feeling horrible right now but you have to get over it. You are a fantastic person, but even the best make mistakes... it's all a part of being human." Caroline said, getting up from her embrace. "Now I want you to get out of that bed right now. We are going to clean up this mess and then go out for ice cream, okay?"

Alice looked up from the pool of bedding she was sunk in and wiped at her eyes.

"Okay... but no Rocky Road... I think I've had enough of that."