Rumored Nights

The usual lunch babble out in the courtyard drifted in and out of Alice's conscious.

The only words she was really hearing came from the group of people around her, their laughter and happiness like a constant variable in their lives.

Alice was still surprised that she had friends to sit with at lunch, that even though she was clearly out of it and not contributing to their conversations they still embraced her as one of them.

If she hadn’t been so preoccupied with events from two days before it would've been almost heartwarming how her world, in a matter of days, could've gone from so small to exponentially larger.

The proof being the people around her.

Alice got lost in her thoughts far too often, her daydreams flirting with the line of fanciful as Skye nudged her in the side.

"You okay?" She asked worriedly.

Alice shrugged. "Yeah, of course I'm fine."

She wasn’t sure if the grin she attempted turned out more like a grimace but regardless it didn’t seem to fool Skye, or in extension Liz as they both pulled out of their other conversations and turned to Alice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Liz asked.

Alice could feel the words of denial crawl up her throat, she knew the instinct to pretend everything was fine was waiting to be appeased, and still... she wanted someone to be there.

In William's two day absence Alice had felt even more alone in her usually empty house.

The walk home yesterday afternoon had been the loneliest half hour she'd spent in a long time, the silence only broken by her scuffing shoes still haunted her memory when she least expected it.

For someone with her past it wasn’t something she liked to live, even for an afternoon, and even more so when she didn’t know how long she would be without her rock, William.

It was a painful reminder of the first couple of days after her father's death, where everyone had retreated into themselves and left six year old Alice all by herself.

Therapy had been a mandatory requirement handed down from their mother once she had regained her composure, at least long enough for the funeral.

But what Alice had spent her hour in therapy on hadn’t been about her father's death.

She learned from that month and a half was that, to quote the doctor, she had abandonment issues.

Which is why when Liz had asked if Alice wanted to talk about it... she couldn't say no.

"My friend and I... uh..." Alice stuttered, awkwardly glancing at Sisky from under a chunk of her hair falling over her eyes.

Skye interpreted her gaze well enough and nodded to both of them.

"Hey guys we're gonna go to the school store and get something to eat." Skye announced, linking arms with Alice and Liz.

Max, Sisky, and Jesse watched them briefly before returning to their previous conversation about the White Sox.

"So, tell us about whatever's got you down." Liz murmured, prodding Alice.

She sighed habitually and leaned against the wall out of sight from most the courtyard.

The events of the past few days came tumbling from her lips, a torrent of words that had been waiting to break free since she hid them away that afternoon.

Alice had barely thought about William's words let alone the confusing kiss till then.

The only place she could focus on was the empty spot where her best friend was, making her hate her feelings for him all the more for tangling her up into insanity.

By the time Alice had told the two girls the whole story she already felt better, lighter, than before.

That didn't mean though that they felt the same.

"He kissed you?!" They both exclaimed, that part of the story clearly upsetting them the most.

Liz was the most enraged, vowing to knee William where the sun didn't shine the next time she saw him, while Skye was the most sympathetic toward Alice.

Alice didn't freeze up this time when Skye hugged her, merely melted into her arms and chose to embrace her kind words as well.

"Alice honey, I know exactly what you need." She said once she had began to see the old Alice back in her eyes.

She glanced over at Liz, an unspoken conversation in one gaze, and turned back to her determinedly.

"Girl's night."

.<^>.<^>.<^>.

Cinnamon wafted out the open door, taking with it scents of nutmeg, rising dough, and the memories of Alice's childhood.

How many countless afternoons she had spent playing baker with her mom when she was a toddler, barely able to pat the dough with her chubby hands.

It had been their time, the few hours spaced out where no one was home, her father at work and siblings at school, years away for herself.

"Mom?" She called out, bringing herself to reality once more.

There was a clamor of pots moving before another voice replied back. "Alice is that you?"

Once more the pang of nostalgia hit her and she wished to be back to the happier naive days of her childhood, the days without step family driving wedges between them.

"Yeah mom," Alice's voice cracked. "It's me."

She dropped her bag at the side of the door, not caring if she'd be yelled at later for it, and wandered into the kitchen.

"Oh honey you look exhausted." Her mom sighed, putting her hand gently to her daughter's cheek.

She nodded, habitually walking over to the sink to wash her hands.

At the sight of her mother with her hair pulled up and the haphazard flour smudges across her face and clothes it made the pile of homework she had waiting for her disappear from her memory.

"What're you making?" She asked, nodding to the assortment of foods piled up on the counter next to the mound of biege dough.

She grinned ruefully. "It was supposed to be dinner but you know how I get when inspiration strikes. Now it's turned into some fruit pie thing."

With a finger her mother brushed back a stray hair, still managing to smudge a bit of dough across her forehead.

Alice looked at her frazzled mother with such an artist's mind despite her culinary exterior and couldn't push away the desire to take care of her since Alice knew she wouldn't.

With a smile she moved next to her mother. "You keep doing what you're doing, I'll make dinner."

Contrary to her original thought, the fridge hadn't been entirely dumped on the counter and by a stroke of luck she managed to find enough parts to make a whole meal for a family of five.

"So how was school today?" Her mother asked, never someone to leave silences alone.

The blatant teenage shrug was Alice's reply as she preheated the oven.

"The usual senior stuff, tying up loose ends." She replied in nonchalance before she remembered lunch. "I made some new friends though, they want to take me out for a girl's night tonight, is that okay?"

Smiling with a chiding edge her mother answered. "Of course you can. I think you're old enough to go out without permission."

Alice shrugged under the harsh glare of her age. "I just figured I'd ask in case you needed me to watch Hailey or something."

Already her mother was shaking her head. "No, no Luke is out of town again but I'll be home tonight so you don't have to. Go be a teenager, you should do it more often."

The pound of meat she had found in the freezer had thawed enough to be put in the oven as it promptly beeped it's readiness.

Leftover's were enevitable now that her step-dad wasn't going to be there, and Caroline surely already had plans, so she scaled back the operation.

"Alice, is everything okay with you and William?"

The sudden question caught Alice cold, her heart stuttering for a moment in uncertainty over whether to beat faster or stop altogether.

"We're f-fine, why?"

Her mother merely shrugged, looking away in feigned disinterest while her glance back said otherwise.

"I merely noticed we have more food than usual and assumed he hadn't been here the past few days. Did anything happen?"

She shook her head, attempting to draw from the same disinterest her mother had. "No, he's just been busy. I think his family has been missing him, what with him being here almost every day."

Joking was good, it seemed natural and was less likely to give away the sudden sadness gripping at her heart.

"Well then, maybe you should call Ryan while he's gone. He's been talking about coming down for Christmas and he says you haven't talked in a while, you know he worries." Her mother prodded.

Alice nodded, needing no prompting to call her older brother, now more than ever with the rift caused by William.

While tending to the dinner Alice glanced up at her mom.

"Okay mom, I'll call him when I get back."

She smiled and, despite the dough on her hands wrapped her arms around her.

Alice sank into her hug, just wanting to drift off somewhere where things had been so much simpler.