And You're All I Want

I was lost.

And I hated being lost. I got angry when I got lost.

Or when people tell me too get lost.

I go into my own head. And that is never good. I find things about myself that I don’t want to find out.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I slowly pulled it out. It was Katie. I pressed reject. I looked at my watch, I had been out for 6 hours. Crap. I started walking agin. I reconized the street. I reconized the house. It was my mums house. I walked round the side of the house. Thank god I still could climb up vines. And that I had let my window stay open.

I climbed in making sure I had gone in quitely. I looked over at my bed.

Crap, double crap.

They had found my diary.

Annie’s diary

Setember 16th 1995. (She is 5 years old.)

MUMMY HAD TWINS. Benjamin and Thomas. They are soo cute, but very loud at night.I’m not getting any sleep. But mummy and daddy love them. Benny has blue eyes and brown hair just like me, but Tommy has black hair like mummy and brown eyes.

December 31st 1995 (still 5 years old)

Tommy is ill. Daddy says its something called canser.He said that Tommy has something wrong in his lungs. I don’t know what it is. And no one will tell me. Mummy is crying all the time. I think he might die.

January 15th 1998 ( 8 years old)

Tom has died. Mummy and Daddy are crying. I feel so sad. Tom was to young. That’s what everyone is saying. I know that Ben knows what has happened.

I feel like something has been taken away from me. And I can’t get it back.

July 27th 2002 ( Just turned 12 years old.)

Mum and dad are shouting at each other all the time. Over stupid things, like today it was about fish or something. I don’t know if they still love each other any more.

December 1st 2004 (14 years old)

They are getting divorced. To be honest, I was thinking that they would. They called me into the kitchen and I thought I was in trouble or something. But no. So I’m can lived with mum or dad. I don’t want to live with either. I hate them so much, you just think that they will stay together forever right. But they don’t. The world feels like a rotton potato. Looks good on the outside, but a crap on the inside.

December 7th 2004 (guess what 14 years old.)

Guess what I met a fittie of a fittie today. I was sitting outside the house my skate board under my feet when he came and sat down next to me. He was so funny and shy its making the world seem not so crap anymore. He is 15 years old and apparently he is staying with a friend. I suddenly found myself telling him all about what has happened with my family and I started crying. And he kissed me. He asked for my phonenumber and said he would phone me later. His name is Dougie Lee Poynter.

December 9th 2004

Dougie took me too a little greek café for lunch then we just walked round the park for ages. Kissing. Just as well mum is too wrapped up in her own world too notice.

December 28th 2004

I’ve noticed I only write in this diary when something amazing has happened or something so crap it hurts. This is one of those crap times.

I caught him cheating on me with some girl band slut trying to up his rep. I went to his hotel room to see him and I caught him. I walked straight out and he followed after me. But I kept running. And he was only in his boxers, so he didn’t run after me. So I’m gonna move over to America with my dad.

I read it over. Then I remembered why I hadn’t written in it for so long. Every time I wrote in it I read it. And it reminded me how rubbish my life was. I pulled off my clothes and put on a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt. I pulled my MP3 out of my bag and turned it on. I turned to face the wall and let the tears fall