Shameless

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When we arrived at the venue there were already people lined up down the street to get in. The guys rushed me backstage, all of them pretty jittery because they were nervous that they were going to mess up their new song.

"So April, you seriously think the song is good? You're not just saying that?" Jack asked as he crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow

"Okay, this is the last time I'm going to say this, I love the hell out of that song!" I shouted in his face, he took a step back and placed his hands over his ears.

"Don't make me go deaf before the show starts! Then we're really going to mess up on stage!" He shouted before breaking out in a small, nervous sounding laugh.

The rest of the guys were busy tuning up their instruments over and over again, making sure each string was perfect.

Rian, on the other hand, was basically trying to mess them up as much as possible, tapping his drum sticks loudly on the dressing room table and singing random Blink-182 songs, getting most of the lyrics wrong and being totally off pitch.

"I can see why Alex is the singer..." I mumbled and let out a small giggle as I passed the sight. He looked at me for a moment and then rolled his eyes.

Alex was looking over his lyric sheet one last time, making sure he had everything perfect. I could hear him mumbling the tune from where I was standing and a small smile fluttered onto my face.

Something was changing in Alex from when I first met him.

He was maturing.

I didn't really know how to react to it either. At first, he was just a foolish, clueless, shameless guy that lived for the laughs and the ladies.

Now, he was serious, determined and needless to say much more attractive which I didn't think was possibly for Alex.

The lights in the crowd went out and the crowd started to roar. All of the guys looked at each other, gave an assuring nod and rushed the stage.

The screams got louder as they started to slam on their guitars, bang on the drums and slap the bass.

"HELLO VEGAS!" Alex shouted into the mic as all the other guys played their instruments in cue with him. "Let's get dirty!"

"This song's about my herpes!" Jack shouted into the mic before he started playing the opening riff to "Break Out! Break Out!". I giggled because I knew that he said that because I pointed out earlier how much of an innuendo the song was.

The show continued with a few of their other songs from Put Up or Shut Up and I realized I was singing along to almost all of them. Wow, have I become a fan of the band I sell merch for?

I then realized that I hadn't fully set up the merchandise table yet. I rushed out of back stage and into the lobby area, throwing a huge bag on the table and originating everything as quickly as possible. Only parents were waiting in the lobby at the moment but the Panic! table was almost out of shirts and posters.

Finally, the tech guy showed up and helped me out. He seemed to be the only person that noticed my struggle.

I sighed, wishing that I could still be back stage listening to the guys do what they do best.

A few people came up to our stand and bought some CD's but our crowd was nothing compared to the crowd the Panic! At The Disco booth was getting.

I heard the guys finish what was usually their last song and I knew something good was coming.

Alex and Jack gave each other boyish high fives and Zack pulled his shirt off, flashing his six pack and making all the girls scream their heads off.

"Okay guys! We've gotta go soon or else Ryan Ross is going to kick our fucking asses but before we go we've got something new for you... you guy's wanna hear something new?" He faced the mic towards the crowd as they all shouted with joy. "What? I can't hear you guys." They all started screaming louder and I could feel my ears ringing. "This song goes out to our merch girl, April whom I do plan on sexing later, sorry ladies!" I shot my eyes over to him and noticed he was staring directly at me.

My smile was wide stretched across my face. A few of the people at the Panic! booth turned around and rushed over to the All Time Low stand, asking for the CD.

I felt kind of bad. At this point the tech guy was doing most of the selling, I was to busy listening to every single beautiful word that left Alex's mouth, mumbling the lyrics to myself.

The crowd went insane when the guys finished their song and stormed off the stage and just as the lights went back on, the table was mobbed.

So mobbed, even, that we sold out. Of everything!

When finally everything was gone, I cleaned up and rushed back stage.

The first person I spotted was Alex with his back turned towards me so of course, me being me, I tackled him, hugging him tightly from behind.

"You guys were awesome!" I shouted gleefully. All of them had wide smiles on their faces.

"We nailed it guys. First song on the new record! Hand's down!" Jack shouted as he packed up his guitar as quickly as possible. "Let's go out drinking to celebrate!"

Before any of us had any choice in the matter, Jack was already out the door.

The rest of the guys laughed and followed behind them when they were done packing up.

"You owe me sex tonight, April North." Alex whispered in my ear and I giggled, letting a small blush cover my face.

"Yeah, sure, in your dreams, Gaskarth."

"Yeah, my wet dreams!" He laughed hard at his very immature, boyish joke. I couldn't expect anything but immaturity out of Alex. He was the king of it. The king of getting ass from random girls and running from it the next day.

I knew more about Alex then he thought I did. I got a good amount of information from Pete but the rest I heard from the guys telling their drunk stories.

As amazing as Alex Gaskarth was, his immaturity stood in front of me having any other feelings for him. He was to reckless, to clueless and far to shameless.

I sighed to myself as I followed Alex out the door. He looked back with a look of concern on his face.

"What? Afraid I don't have a condom? Trust me, I do! Just tell me what flavor you want." He gave me a full on smile as he tried to pick me up out of the train of thought I was in.

I knew it. I wanted Alex. I wanted him bad. But I didn't want a boy.

I wanted a man.

I pushed the thought of of my mind and gave a fake smile.

"Banana." I said letting a small giggle escape my lips.

"GOT IT!" He shouted and hopped onto the bus with joy. I followed behind him, closing the door and the second the door clicked, the bus took off from the motel.

--

Brendon stood back stage, trying to look his best, trying to calm his nerves, hoping she would be watching.

The lights went down. The screams grew. People were cheering "Panic! Panic! Panic!"

Spencer gave him a quick slap on the back to wake him up from his trance. He followed behind him as the whole band stormed the stage.

He pulled the mic close to his mouth and looked around but his vision was blurred by the bright lights.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen! Good evening! Are you ready to dance!?" Brendon shouted out the the crowd. They all screamed but he wasn't focusing on that.

Finally, his eyes adjusted to the lighting and he could see back into the lobby area.

There was an empty table.

His heart dropped.

It was safe to say, that was the worst show he had ever played. Ever.