Shameless

The venue was dark and smokey. Alex and Jack were nervously shaking as they stood backstage, something that wasn't usual for them. Rian was trying his hardest to lighten the mood but failing miserably at it.

"Well, looks like the place is packed, huh? And come on, this is our first show where we're not an opener! That's pretty sick, huh?" Rian's fake smile was wide but slowly faded as all the other guys looked at him for a moment and then turned their heads back to the ground. He sighed and rolled his eyes, accepting defeat.

Zack was gently tapping his drum sticks on one of the broken amps that was sitting in the back, trying to mimic the opening bands song.

The music stopped and Alex and Jack grabbed their instruments. They were nervous as hell. As the guys rushed the stage Alex threw on a fake smile although it was painfully hard.

Jack's eyes were the first to scan the crowed but the light suddenly flashed in them and he was blinded. Alex froze up on stage for a moment before the lights finally moved back onto the crowd. His heart began to sink but he knew he had to fake it for the crowd.

"How are y'all doing tonight?" He shouted into the mic. The audience screamed loudly with anticipation for the band.

"Oh, well that sucks." Zack yelled loudly into the mic, pushing Alex to the side.

A few minutes into the show and Alex knew something was wrong. His fingers were in all the wrong places, his voice was in all the wrong pitches; he was off. He felt like a train wreck and the rest of the band could tell that. Jack rushed back towards the amps when he had the chance and turned up his own amp in homes of covering up Alex's sounds. This only made Alex more pissed off and annoyed.

By the third song, Alex was starting to get his momentum back but he still felt like something was missing. Every so often he would look over to the merch table only to feel his heart rip. He wanted her to be there so badly that it was effecting his playing; he wasn't lying when he said that she was his inspiration.

The show ended and all the boys left the venue without speaking a single word to each other. They ignored any fans that were asking for autographs and got onto the bus as soon as possible.

Alex plopped down in his seat with his face in his hands, letting out a loud sigh. Jack sat down next to him and placed his arm around his shoulders.

"It's okay man, we all felt kinda weird. It was just a weird show. They liked us though!" He said cheerfully, hoping it would lighten the mood.

"So what?" Alex said quietly. Obviously the mood stayed the same.

After that, all the other guys, including Jack backed off from Alex. It was obvious that he was hurting, bad. When they finally arrived back at the motel, Alex was the first person out of the bus. He quickly dashed up the stairs with a sudden burst of hope. The light was on in the room.

He tripped on the last stair and ripped his jeans a little bit but got back up as quickly as possible. When he slammed the door open, his smile was wider then it had been all day.

His eyes darted around. His smile died quickly.

The room was empty. Seems he had left the bathroom light on when he left earlier. He slammed the door hard as he walked into the room, falling backwards onto the bed.

As he lied there, he could picture her smile. He could hear her laugh and he almost felt like he could taste her kiss. But these images were soon ruined by him picturing her in the arms of someone else. He couldn't put a face on him; Brendon? Pete? Some random groupie that she'd acquire on her new tour. It didn't matter, picturing her with anyone else but him killed him.

He hated the idea of him without her. He tried to think of his future but what once was easy to imagine was now a blur. He could think of a house, a yard but no wife, no kids, nothing like that. He could only see himself alone.

Alex was falling far down the rabbit hole. He barely felt alive at that moment.

Alex fucked up big time. She wasn't going to come back so easily. He knew that very well. He sat there for an hour, thinking out very high scale plans that he knew would never work. Finally, it hit him.

He darted over to the couch and grabbed his guitar. He quickly tuned it and started doing the one thing he knew he was good at. He had the perfect plan. The plan that would win any girls heart back. Even April North's? He wasn't sure but he knew he had to try something.

Tomorrow was their final concert with Panic! at the Disco. He knew for sure that she was going to be there. He knew it in his heart. This was his last chance. Things needed to be fixed or else he'd go on regretting letting the one girl he actually loved slip out of his life forever.

He pulled a piece of paper and a pen towards himself and started scribbling lyrics.

After a few tries, he sang them out loud confidently.

"He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes..."

This was Alex's last chance. Everything needed to be perfect.