Guardian Angel's Don't Exist...Do They?

Stories With The Limey

"Jeremy, do I have to put you in a leash?"

"What? He let us in and I'm hungry!"

"Yeah but he also said 'Careful with the dog', idiot. Also this isn't even his house!"

"Oh that's a load of crap!" he chuckled, "Tom is just trying to scare us." and with that he walked off towards the kitchen to where Tom pointed, "And besides, Rob wouldn't mind!" he then whimpered, "Terry, come here for a sec!"

I rolled my eyes as I went to see what he was- I stood there to see Jeremy stiff and leaned back with a cereal box at hand, "Terry...there is a dog." he stated as I saw a small white dog looking at us with it's tilted head.

"Well...it looks harmless. And adorable!" I smiled at him as Jeremy began to feel a little less tense.

"Right...adorable." he kneel down at it's level, "Hey there, doggy." he began to extend his arm as I shook my head.

"Jeremy, I don't think you're supposed to approach the dog...it's the other way around." I cleared my throat, "Especially, when you're invading it's property without the owner's permission!"

"Terry, just calm down! This thing wouldn't even-" and then the dog snapped as Jeremy nearly touched the terrier's snout and he bit Jeremy's hand.

"Aw shit!!!" he scrambled onto his feet as he held his bitten hand while trying to get away from the Westie, "Down puppy! Stay! Stay! Be a good boy!" the dog then bit Jeremy's leg, "Ah!!! Terry!!"

I looked around and then walked back to the living room, "Hey! Get back here and get this demon hound off!" he shouted as I found a little chewing toy and waved it around while whistling, "Look, look what's this?" It let go of Jeremy and then stared at me and then back at the toy I had, "Is this your toy?" I threw it across the hall, "Go get it!" The Westie charged off and left me and Jeremy alone...for now.

He sighed in relief, "That was close."

"Well let this be a lesson to you, mister 'this is a load of crap'." I giggled as I eyed three slices of cake at the table, "Dibs! My cake!"

-=-

"Uhhh....." he groaned in his sleep. Not wanting to get up, his eyes traveled to the clock next to his bed. It read: 9:00 am. He yawned before burying himself under the blankets and making himself comfortable...that is until he heard a small crash in his kitchen.

"Aw shit!"

In alarm, he jumped out of his bed and crept into the hallways with his guitar close to him as he kept hearing shouts from the man who may cause the crash in the kitchen. And then he heard the snarls from his dog. His back against the wall as he slowly made his way to the kitchen. He froze as he saw a toy thrown at him and see his dog chasing after it while wagging his tail, "Patty?!" he questioned as he peeked in to see a girl eating in his table with her feet up on the chair across from her.

"Terry?!"

She looked up, "Oh hi, Rob." she said with her mouth full of cake.

"H-how did you get into my flat?"

"Front door." she paused, "Tom let us in."

"Us?"

"Oh right, Jeremy made the mess." she explained as she pointed to an open refrigerator. Rob walked towards it, "Why leave it open?"

"It wasn't me." she said as Rob closed the door to see Jeremy on the other side of it while devouring an apple, "Hi."

Terry looked at his hand that held his guitar, "What's that for?"

He looked back at her and then at his guitar, "Intruder alert?"

"You were gonna beat us with your own guitar?!" Jeremy gave Rob a shocking look, "You limey werewolf!"

Terry arched an eyebrow and cleared her throat, "Speaking of guitar." she extended her hand as she waited and Rob quickly put up a sad face.

"Uhh...about that, you see your guitar has been in a terrible accident-"

"Don't explain the accident!" she covered her ears as her head lowered unto the table, "Just tell me how bad it is." she muttered as Jeremy stared at Rob's head.

"Oooh real bad." Rob smirked, "Patty even chewed on the strings."

"Lies!!! He has the guitar in his room!" Jeremy shouted before going back to his apple. Rob gave him a shocking look, "H-how did you know that?!"

"Know what?" Jeremy replied with an innocent face, "It was an impulsive guess." he grinned.

"A bloody good one."

Just then Terry snuck from behind and took Rob's guitar, "Yoink! Mine now!" she ran off into the living room with it.

In a matter of minutes, Jeremy was sitting in the center of the couch with a mirror, Terry on the loveseat while playing this random solo on Rob's guitar, Rob on the other side of Jeremy, and Patty on the right side.

"So...Terry," Rob spoke up as she was mostly interested in her made up riff, "How's the movie coming along?"

"It's great." she said as her eyes stayed glued to her fingers moving around the guitars neck.

"So...Terry, how's Heath doing?" Rob asked another question.

She stopped playing and remembered the events that happened earlier this morning:

"What are your plans for today, love?" Heath asked me.

"First, my aussie, I'm gonna retrieve my guitar and then look for Joe Strummer's grave and wish him well in punk heaven." I said with a huge smile as I breathed in London's air and then did the "London Calling" shout before being smacked by Jeremy.

"Shut up! Wanna get arrested!" Jeremy hissed.

"Geebus! Why did you...ow!" I groaned a bit while rubbing the back of my shoulder and then threw a glare at him, "No!" and then my attention went back to Heath, "So, when's my curfew?"

"Well, the interview could take long but you know Terry I don't want you to spend the rest of the day at the hotel by yourself...with no idiot box."

"I'll be fine." I said as his hands cupped my face.

"But I want you to have a day off, relax for a bit. You've been running around a lot ever since your guitar has been stolen."

"Borrowed." Jeremy coughed while rolling his eyes.

"Asshole." I muttered before getting smacked at the same spot but this time Heath smacked a laughing Jeremy in the back of the head.


Terry grinned, "He's great." she answered before going back to play the guitar. Jeremy interupted the conversation with a gasp, "You know, there's a ghost story about this apartment."

"No there isn't." Rob chuckled.

"Well apparently, you haven't heard the story about Mr. Antony Mase-Large!" Jeremy stated as he looked at the mirror, "He was an American citizen that moved here somewhere in the 50's and he loved listening Beethoven but then one fateful day when a gang next door broke in here and robbed and trash the place and attempting to murder him while he sleeps! But then he put up a curse to the vile men and send his own soul inside this mirror," Jeremy held it up, "That I found on top of Rob's refridgrator and-"

"Wait wait, Rob, why do you have a mirror on top of you-"

"Shh!" Jeremy hissed at Terry before continuing, "Anyways, before Antony was about to die he called in a friend, a father figure, that he can count on. His name was Carl Droog, the wise vampire. And together they transformed Antony into this great mind-reading vampire-"

"Jeremy."

"What Terry?!"

"Enough with the Twilight crap! Everytime you mention something about your vamp-idol, I bleed inside! And when I bleed inside, it hurts!!"

Rob looked at the two with a puzzled face, "What's Twilight? Is that a sci-fi show? I think I've heard of it."

Terry sighed, "Yes, Rob, it's a sci-fi show."

"No it isn't!" Jeremy protested.

"Shut it, numbnuts, Dracula is better!" Terry grinned before getting hit by a sock, "Where the- Did you just hit me with a sock?!" she questioned Jeremy.

"My sock." Rob smirked, "I don't clean my apartment much." and that's when he got hit by his own sock from Terry, "I can tell!"

"You know what Terry?!" Jeremy stood up and so did she, "What Jeremy?!" before she said anything else Jeremy shoved the mirror infront of her, "May Edward Cullen capture your soul!!"

"Jeremy, get the mirror out of my face before Rob's dog bites you again." Terry said leaning back.

"Well I think you guys should hand me back that mirror." Rob said as he stood up too, "Before someone breaks it and then my sister will claw at me."

"If Jeremy breaks it, then your sister has to claw at him since he would be the one with bad luck."

Well Terry finally has her guitar back which is hanging by a strap around her shoulder inside the case. Her and Jeremy followed Rob around London as they finally reached the Elgin Pub, "Well this is the place where they played almost all of their early shows." Rob stated as he lit up a ciggarette, "You can pay tribute in there...ow!" he muttered while burning his thumb, "Strummer was cremated." he looked at the two, who were in shock and didn't quite move. Rob waved a hand infront of Terry's face but she stayed there looking at the place.

"You know...if it weren't for my werewolf phobia. I would've moved here." Jeremy said.

"Yeah...if we were alive in the early 80's and late 70's." Terry shook her head, "Argh, if only I saw one show."

"I keep forgetting were older than limey here." Jeremy stated randomly as their attention went to Rob, "You turned sixteen, right?" Jeremy smirked.

Rob chuckled at the same time blowing out smoke, "Yes, I'm sixteen that smokes and supposedly I have a drinking problem."

Jeremy nodded, "Yes that definetely sounds like a sixteen year old that dropped out."

"No, I like to keep my education and graduate." Rob played along, "My mummy says that I'm a good boy."

"Funny thing is...I believe him." Terry grinned.

"Why wouldn't you?" Rob asked, "Do I look that bad?"

She laughed before ruffling his hair, "No, we just love to mess with you."
♠ ♠ ♠
Ahhhh!!! What a strange horrific week and it hasn't even ended yet!!!!
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hahaha the faces are funny but anywho! This week so far has been creepy as hell! It's like I'm in a 1970 horror film starring Malcolm McDowell and the strange animal people from 'O Lucky Man' but Malcolm McDowell is hott in the 70's and is still handsome even though he's old...it's like Mark Hamill! Back to the point! Life's been scary and I've been paranoid! Especially yesterday when I was watching these weird hybrids and then the power went off and I heard something from my kitchen so I grabbed my guitar and kept flailing at nothing and then my dog came along and tackled me and it was dark I couldn't see! I thought it was a mutant sea leopard! And my nightmares aren't helping either!

CRAZY NEKKKED CHEESE PHOBIA DREAM!!!!!

It's a regular Tuesday and it felt like I was getting out of bed and on my way to make myself some waffles when all of a sudden....

"You want NEKKED CHEESE? I'll give you NEKKED CHEESE!"

O.O......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM BLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND...EH! It's that scary lady thing!!
CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDRIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The Joker is in the hizzy!" he shouted as he bowed with his top hat. I went up and grabbed his collar, "Mistah J!!! You've got to help me escape! There's this scary HORRIBLE BLEHCK looking lady in my closet!!"

He sighed, "I would, toots, but....you're still in your swimsuit."

"Swimsuit?!?! What the-?! I never went swimming!"

"BUT YOU DID WITH CHEESE!!!!" I looked outside at the pool that now had cheese slices!!!!

I gagged....I gagged again....I'll never be able to eat cheese again.

"AAAHHHH!!!!" I looked at my arm that was now filled with goosebumps, "That's so weird!!! It's like goosebump after goosebump!" I poked at it.

My dad and my sister have large sharp teeth like the vampires in Van Helsing!!...and red eyes!

My dad is getting mad at me for a stupid reason cause I woke up at 2 in the afternoon! "Ah! Get away from me, you vile fiend!!!" I bit my dad's arm, "Agh! Why do my bite marks look stupid!!!" I look at my cousin, "I'M NOT A SHARK!"

"Ewwwww goosbumps and cheese! WTf?! I have blond hairs?!"

My family is running away from this new incurable disease that has erupted in my city...it's like Raccoon City. Except this feels real and my dog....AHHH she's infected!!! DDx She looks like an albino poodle on steroids!

"I must find the origin of Spunk Ransom!! Where the fuck did you come from?! WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN INVADE MY DREAM?!"

"More like nightmare, sweetheart."

"I'm screwed! AHHHH! NEKKED CHEESE LADY!! NEKKED CHEESE LADY!!! NEKKED CHEESE!!!

NEKKED FUCKING CHEESE!!!!!"

~20 years later~

Michael was allowed to enter the cell that was guarded by two guys, "How is she, doc?"

"I don't hear the word 'cured' anytime soon." the old man said.

Michael nodded as he made his way inside the cushion room and kneel down infront of the wrapped up me.

"Hey there. How've you been?"

I was shaking as I looked up at him, "Michael, is it...is it snowing?"

Michael sighed as he rubbed his forehead, "Look...if you stop this act you can finally record that album you sent."

"What...wha? You're telling me that we ran out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?!"

"Look, there's a guy here that wants to sign you up for this record company...I think you know him."

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii there! I'm just gonna say that I like really liked your single 'NEKKED CHEESE'! And let me tell you...you want real NEKKED CHEESE?! I'll give you NEKKED CHEESE!"

*HORROR GIRLY HIGHPITCHED SCREAM LIKE I DID IN KINDERGARTEN TO PISS OFF THE TEACHER SCREAM*

"Wake up! Wake up!"

I shook my head while breathing heavily, "MY POOL IS BEING RAPED!"

"Uhh yeah...that's great, Nikki. Now get off your ass! We're in Phoenix!"

I looked around to see I wasn't dreaming and looked to see a desert outside, "Oh my god...that was horrible!" I said as I buried my face in my hands.

"And so is this expired cheese...UGH!"

O.O

DUN DUN DUN!

-=-

Pushup 1....pushup 2....pushup 3...."I can't do this...I need a brea-"

"Don't say that! Remember what the director said!"

"Bu-"

"Now repeat after me!"

"Right..."

"I am the shit!"

"What?"

"I said repeat after me!"

"Repeat after me!"

"I am Edward motherfucking Cullen!"

"I am Edward motherfucking Cullen!"

"And I am gonna complete these 50 pushups before my trainer arrives."

"And I am...seriously I'm just gonna grab a wa-"

"And Jacob Black ain't got SHIT on ME!!!"