Hella Good Sandwiches

"I can't keep my hand, my hands, mah, mah, my hands, my hands out the cookie jar." My phone started ringing when I was in the kitchen with Tony sharing a drink and talking. "Hello? Fuck you Guy! It's my day off. It's Addy's and Mac's day off too. Have the newbie bitches take care of it. I don't wannaaa. Fine dammit, I'll be in for the closing shift. I better get paid for this. Yeah, yeah, I know you love me." I closed my phone and threw it at the counter. Just great, I get to go to work on my day off. Fuck Monday's! Tony was grinning/smirking at me. I turned my eyes into slits and his face automatically turned into one of an apologetic stature. I laughed and walked back into the weird little lounge room Vic and Mike's apartment has.

"Addddddddddy! You owe me." I sang while she was still sucking face with Vic. Addy pulled away and looked at me with her infamous head tilt.

"Say what?"

"Since you didn't answer your phone, Guy called me and guess what my dear. I get the night shift tonight." I said while bowing my head, jokingly of course.

"But...It's our day off. What about Karen or Kelly or whatever that girls name is? Why can't she come in?" Addy asked sitting up more and pushing Vic a little more away.

"I don't know, but I covered for you and Mac so you guys don't have to go in. Hence me saying that you owe me." I said while smiling and giving the peace sign.

As I was walking away Addy yelled "What the fuck?! Why doesn't Mac-Z owe you too?" I giggled and walked into the living room where Mike and Tony were chilling on the couch.

"Is my brother and your friend still going at it?" Mike asked.

"Yes they are, my little Addy is getting some. I'm so proud." I said placing a hand over my heart and falling down on the chair.

"Wait, isn't she already older than you?" Tony asked with confusion.

"Technically, but we all know I'm older. Regardless of the fact she was born first." I replied shrugging my shoulders. Mike rolled his eyes and I decided it was time I messed with him.

"So, mister 'Whiskeyhands'. I hear you have a Harry Potter tattoo. Let's see it." I said while staring directly at him.

"I'd have to take off my pants to show you." He replied shifting a little uncomfortably on his seat on the couch.

"That would be a problem because? Take off your pants dude." I stood up and placed my hands on my hips. At this point Mike looked way uncomfortable and Tony looked annoyed. "Come on, show me."

"If you insist." Mike said in his most 'seductive voice.' I scoffed and took a step back. As he was pulling down his pants, his junk sort of slipped down out of his American Apparel undies and I couldn't help but laugh. "What? The tattoo isn't that funny." He defended pulling back up his pants.

"That's not what I'm laughing at, the tattoo is cool." I said, shaking with laughter. Tony was giving me this look like I was out of my mind but I just kept laughing.

"Why are you laughing dammit?" Mike asked, annoyed.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes." Wrong answer.

"Yo! Mac-Z." I yelled turning my head towards the guest room where Jaime and Mac were still talking.

"What does this have to do with Mac?" Asked Tony.

"Oh, you'll see." Mac and Jaime walked out of the room and stood by me.

"What is it Roni?" Mac asked. "Wait, why are you laughing like that?" She asked with amusement in her eyes.

"Well see, Whiskeyhands here," I started to say when she did this sort of hiss. "Was showing me his Harry Potter tattoo." At this she laughed.

"Harry Potter, seriously?" She asked. Mike was about to say something when I interrupted.

"No! This is still my speaking time since he wanted me to explain while I was laughing. See, I was simply just going to tell you and Addy later so sans the embarrassment for Mike over here, but he really wanted to know. As he was pulling down his pants and I caught a nice glance at Mike junior over here. At first, I thought he just had big hands but no. Mac, your man has a SMALL dick." I said moving my hands together to indicate a small length. I then started laughing again. Mac was silent at first then erupted in laughter.

"That explains everything!" She said clutching onto her side. Mike got pissed and was about to say something when Mac blurted, "Maybe we should call you Whiskeydick instead!" At this I seriously almost fell I was laughing so hard, Tony wrapped his arms around my frame to keep me standing, even though he was laughing just as hard. Jaime was trying ridiculously hard to not laugh but the laughs finally came. Addy and Vic finally walked into the living room just looking at us.

"Roni, what's going on?" Addy asked, even though it seemed like she really didn't want to know.

"Ask Whiskeydick over there." I said through giggles.

"THAT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY!" Mike screamed.

"What's not funny, but why is everyone else laughing?" Vic asked, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Our dear friend Mike here and his penis, or lack there of." I replied. "HEY! Maybe that means the little one over here is packing, nice job Addy." I said giving her a high five. Oh god, this day just keeps getting better.

"Anyway bitches, I've got to go. I've got work in a couple hours so Veronica Bloom out!"

Poor, poor Whiskeydick!