Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend

Kevin's POV

“And days go by. I can feel ‘em flyin’ like a hand out the window in the wind.”

Keith Urban filled my Tahoe as I headed to the place I had learned to call my second home for the past few months. It was now Friday and I’ve been single for four days and hating every minute of it. I put on a front at home and at work related things. However, it doesn’t faze my family or Megan.

They know that I’m miserable on the inside. But they also know that there is nothing they can do about it. There is nothing I can do about it. The only person capable of fixing my mess is moving on and leaving me behind.

Whenever I made this trek, a left on Sunset, a right on Oceanside, and another right on Palm, I always found it difficult to contain my excitement. But this trip, this one was the exact opposite of that. I was finding it hard to contain my sadness, my disappointment, my heartache.

As I made the last turn onto Palm, the butterflies in my stomach began to flutter faster. She has no idea that I was about to show up to say goodbye to her. For my own sake, it was something I needed to do. Part of my hoped it would provide closure, what I needed to wipe a clean slate and start fresh. The other part of me hoped it would make her realize that she needs me just as much as I need her.

I parked my car in the spot that was ultimately designated as mine. The neighbors in the building knew me, they knew my car, and they knew that I was at Dina’s basically every day. Stepping out of the car, I slowly shut the door behind me, trying not to be too loud. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I approached the door. Lightly knocking, I waited patiently.

The door swung open as shock came over Dina’s face. God, she’s beautiful. She shut her eyes as she let out a sigh before opening the screen door to me.

“Hello Kevin.”

“Hey Dina.”

“Come in,” she said, opening the door a little wider.

I stepped inside and looked around. Dina’s apartment was completely empty except for her suitcase and purse on the floor by the stairs. The couch we always snuggled on—gone. The picture of us together on the mantle—gone. The coffee table we fell over when we were making out and trying to get to the couch—gone. All of our memories were gone and soon, Dina would be gone, too.

“Looks weird, doesn’t it?” Dina asked, breaking the silence and untangling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, it definitely does. Where is all your stuff?”

“I shipped it all to my parents’ house. I can’t move into my apartment until next week so I’m stashing all my stuff there until then.”

“I wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

“Me too, Kev, me too.” The silence hit us like the plague. Neither of us really had anything to say that didn’t include the word sorry. “I should um, probably wait outside. My cab should be here soon.”

“Let me drive you to the airport. Please?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kevin.”

“Why not?”

“We’re just making this harder for ourselves. You showing up here like this already made it harder. Making a scene at the airport would just make things worse.”

“Things don’t have to be this way, Dina. I can fix this.”

“No you can’t. You’ve always fixed my problems and I love you for that, but this one, this one is too far gone. It’s out of your hands.” Slinging her purse over her shoulder and pulling up the handle of her suitcase.

“Let me grab that for you,” I offered.

“You don’t have to.”

“Let me,” I insisted.

Dina caved, backing away from the suitcase. I walked out the front door and lifted it down the steps. Using her key for the last time, Dina locked the apartment. It was no longer her apartment. It was no longer my safe haven from my hectic work and family life. I stopped in the middle of the path and waited for Dina to catch up to me. She was silent again, as was I.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked her.

“Just…life. What are you thinking about?”

“What I’m going to do. The press is going to eat me alive for this.”

“I didn’t really think about that.”

“Of course you didn’t,” I replied. The word selfish was about to pour out of my mouth, but I held it in, knowing it wouldn’t help.

“You’re going to move on. You’re going to find a great girl who loves you for you.”

“You love me for me.”

“A girl who loves you for you and who can physically be at your side every day.”

“That girl doesn’t exist. Not with my lifestyle.”

“You’ll find a girl who is okay with being in the spotlight. I’m more of a shadow girl.”

“You didn’t give it a chance.”

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“You heard me, Dina. You gave up. You quit. You threw in the towel in less than twenty-four hours. How do you think that made me feel? You gave up on me like it was no big deal, like we were no big deal.”

“See Kevin? This is why I didn’t want you coming here! I knew you would be doing this. I already feel guilty enough, okay? If you think I don’t care about you or about this or about us, you’re seriously mistaken.”

“You have a great way of showing it,” I mumbled, hoping she wouldn’t hear me. I saw a tear appear from under her Ray Bans as it slowly slid down her cheek. I didn’t come here to make her cry. What am I doing? “I’m sorry, Dina. I didn’t mean anything I just said.”

I heard footsteps and slight whispers. Dina folded her arms across her chest. I obviously hit a sore spot with her. As Dina denied my open arms, the whispers turned louder.

“He deserves so much better than…her.”

“I know, right? I thought Kevin had better judgment than that.”

I lifted the sunglasses off of my eyes and glared at the two girls walking by. Their stares were piercing and their words were hurtful. Noticing I was staring back at them, they stopped and fixed their fake blonde hair, as if it were going to impress me or something.

“I have great judgment actually, and this girl right here is amazing. If anything, I don’t deserve to be with her. You’re entitled to your opinions, but I’d really appreciate it if you kept them to yourselves.”

The two girls, appalled at the attitude I, Kevin Jonas, had just given them, rolled their eyes and walked off. I lifted my head to the sky, realizing what I had just done. That’s going to end up in the tabloids like, tomorrow.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Dina said.

“Yeah, the press is going to go at me for that, too. But I don’t care! What they say doesn’t matter!”

“It may not matter to you, but it’s hurtful to me. That was solid proof. Half the stuff I’ve been going through in the past four days has been much worse than that.”

“Who gives a shit what they have to say, Dina?! What don’t you get about that? I don’t care. You shouldn’t care. These people don’t know you. What they’re saying isn’t true.”

“It may not be true, but it’s still cruel, Kevin! I can’t deal with going to the grocery store and hearing everyone I pass whisper slut, whore, or bitch, under their breath.”

“You know, I see a whole new side to you in this.”

“And what side is that?”

“The weak side. I always thought you were this strong girl who lived her life the way she wanted to live it. You never used to care about what others thought or said about you, and now this sudden change. Why, Dina, why?”

“People change…”

“And promises are broken,” I slowly said, quoting one of my own songs. “Do you remember that promise you made me?”

“Kevin, please.”

“We were sitting on your couch last month watching a movie.”

“I’m begging you not to do this,” Dina pleaded.

“The lights were off and the candles were lit. I know you remember. What did you promise me?”

“I promised you that…”

“That what?”

“That’d we be together forever,” Dina recalled.

“Yes, yes you did. You said forever.”

Dina’s head sunk lower and lower. Shame and embarrassment instantly filled the air around her, so much that even I could feel it. I didn’t need to be doing this. This isn’t going to solve anything.

Before I could apologize, a car horn interrupted us. When I turned around, my eyes met the bright yellow taxi, the driver climbing out of his side. The sadness inside of me grew with every step he took towards us.

“Dina Cordon?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Great. Can I take this?” the driver asked, referring to her suitcase.

“Yes please, thank you.”

I watched the driver take the suitcase from my side. After popping the hood of the trunk, he placed the suitcase in the car with ease. It’s so easy for him to help Dina leave, but it’s not at all easy for me to watch Dina leave.

“I’m ready when you are, Ms. Cordon,” the driver announced as he climbed back into the taxi. Dina’s eyes met mine. I could see the tears through her Ray Bans.

“Goodbye Kevin,” she said. I pulled her tightly into my arms. Her head rested against my chest. I bent down and kissed her wavy, brown hair.

“Call me when you land,” I told her. Pulling away, she looked at my face before directing her eyes to the ground.

“Kevin, I think it’s best if we, you know, cut communication for a while. Just until we feel better about this. Just until you realize that my decision to do this is going to help you in the long run.”

“Dina, no. You can’t do this to me. You’ve already done enough. You can’t not talk to me too.”

“I’m sorry, Kevin. I’ll let Megan know when I land. I love you,” she said, placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

Turning on her heel, she opened the taxi door and placed herself inside of it. Keeping her head straight ahead, refusing to look at me, the driver started the engine. Watching the taxi drive away was slow motion for me. Dina was never one to break a promise, yet she just did. She left me for New York, but took my heart with her.

“You said that it's over, over easy.
If I let go the pain will subside.
'Cause sayin' goodbye's never pretty.
And it's uglier livin' a lie.
But answer this one thing for me--why...

What did you mean when you said that it's over?
I don't understand. How could this be?
You promised me. You said forever.
Or did you forget? Was I deceived?
You needed me.”