Afraid of What You'll Find
But They Don't Understand
Chapter 3
27th August 1939
Frank
I stepped out of my house and into a beautiful summers day, wondering whether I should go down and sit by the lake or play croquet with my only friends. It was almost a fortnight after what had happened in school and I hadn’t left the house or seen my friends since. That included Gerard.
“Hey there! Do you feel like hanging round with me? I don’t really like the people round here on our neighbourhood.”
Oh no. It was Gerard again. I looked at his large brown eyes and out of my own accord agreed.
“Yeah. I don’t mind. How about we go to the lake?” I said stiffly.
“Yeah, sounds good,” He smiled. And what a smile too! We walked down to the lake in a silence only broken by relaxed sighs. We sat under the shade of the large oak tree next to the lake.
“So…” Began Gerard, “What’s it like around here?”
“Oh it’s quite nice. One gets a little lonely sometimes though. The girls are a little…eccentric.”
“Oh yes. I saw your girlfriend. No offence but she seems a little over excited all the time.”
“I’m a bit confused in myself, as I have feelings for someone else.” Oh God. Please don’t let him guess it’s him! He looked a little surprised and said:
“Well, if you have feelings for someone else, you shouldn’t keep this relationship going.”
“Hmm…I guess you’re right.” I said, looking at my shoes. Gerard turned suddenly and brushed his hand across mine.
“Oh, s-sorry!” I stuttered, lost for words.
Gerard
Feelings for someone else! I felt the news settling into me sickly. When I brushed his hand it felt warm and soft, like silk. I heard my mother calling my name over and over, I hope she doesn’t get the wrong impression of me and Frank being together.
“I’m sorry, I have to go,” I said reluctantly.
“Oh…Well I’ll see you around, yes?” Said Frank. Was it just me or did he sound slightly hopeful? I pushed the idea away from me.
“How about next week? The third of September?”
“Of course, back here, see you there!” He said with a smile. A gentle smile, a friends smile no less. I ran home with my mother and brother looking displeased. Once my mother had left to go back to our small house, Mikey said to me:
“What were you doing by the lake with that Iero boy?”
“I’m allowed friends, too, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Yes but you seemed a little too…cosy with him, if you know what I mean.”
“How could you say such a thing!” I said, storming back into our house with the thought of Mikey knowing about me loving Frank hanging over me like a dark cloud. I jumped into my lower bunk with a sad sigh. Mikey was a very homophobic person and I dreaded to think about what he would do if he found out I loved Frank.
27th August 1939
Frank
I stepped out of my house and into a beautiful summers day, wondering whether I should go down and sit by the lake or play croquet with my only friends. It was almost a fortnight after what had happened in school and I hadn’t left the house or seen my friends since. That included Gerard.
“Hey there! Do you feel like hanging round with me? I don’t really like the people round here on our neighbourhood.”
Oh no. It was Gerard again. I looked at his large brown eyes and out of my own accord agreed.
“Yeah. I don’t mind. How about we go to the lake?” I said stiffly.
“Yeah, sounds good,” He smiled. And what a smile too! We walked down to the lake in a silence only broken by relaxed sighs. We sat under the shade of the large oak tree next to the lake.
“So…” Began Gerard, “What’s it like around here?”
“Oh it’s quite nice. One gets a little lonely sometimes though. The girls are a little…eccentric.”
“Oh yes. I saw your girlfriend. No offence but she seems a little over excited all the time.”
“I’m a bit confused in myself, as I have feelings for someone else.” Oh God. Please don’t let him guess it’s him! He looked a little surprised and said:
“Well, if you have feelings for someone else, you shouldn’t keep this relationship going.”
“Hmm…I guess you’re right.” I said, looking at my shoes. Gerard turned suddenly and brushed his hand across mine.
“Oh, s-sorry!” I stuttered, lost for words.
Gerard
Feelings for someone else! I felt the news settling into me sickly. When I brushed his hand it felt warm and soft, like silk. I heard my mother calling my name over and over, I hope she doesn’t get the wrong impression of me and Frank being together.
“I’m sorry, I have to go,” I said reluctantly.
“Oh…Well I’ll see you around, yes?” Said Frank. Was it just me or did he sound slightly hopeful? I pushed the idea away from me.
“How about next week? The third of September?”
“Of course, back here, see you there!” He said with a smile. A gentle smile, a friends smile no less. I ran home with my mother and brother looking displeased. Once my mother had left to go back to our small house, Mikey said to me:
“What were you doing by the lake with that Iero boy?”
“I’m allowed friends, too, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Yes but you seemed a little too…cosy with him, if you know what I mean.”
“How could you say such a thing!” I said, storming back into our house with the thought of Mikey knowing about me loving Frank hanging over me like a dark cloud. I jumped into my lower bunk with a sad sigh. Mikey was a very homophobic person and I dreaded to think about what he would do if he found out I loved Frank.