These Words Are All I Have so I'll Write Them

Dear Gerard's Diary,

I absolutely cannot believe that Gerard Arthur Way cut himself. I am so disappointed and...to be honest, I never saw it coming. He promised that he would try to stop but he didn't think he was strong enough to give up like that. One question...

IS HE MAD!?

I'd liked him for so long before he spoke to me. I would watch him drawing discreetly next to me and blush like hell every time he caught me. I would never have dreamed of having the nerve to even ask him for a pen. Yet he managed to ask me for a whole bunch of stuff! And he liked me for just as long as I liked him!

Okay, so I say "like" but I think I might be falling in love with this guy. I mean...I never even thought I would ever be gay until I saw him. Then again, he did look very sexy the day I was moved into his history class (and a few others) and sat next to him. I'll explain:

His hair was all messed up, in a really sexy way, it was shorter then and he kept running his fingers through it. It's a habit of his. His eyeliner was smudged slightly. He was wearing some really tight pants that made me wonder how he got into them and a t-shirt that was so tight, it looked like he had borrowed it off of his brother, Mikey, who I knew already.

As you can tell, very sexy. So naturally, I took a peek, being a curious, confused teenage boy. Later on, I found out that he was new in the school, so I tried not to stare as it would probably make him nervous. He just caught my eyes, and my ears, he used to sing softly sometimes when everyone else was talking and he thought no-one could hear him. I did. I listened really hard to hear his voice over everyone else's. I liked him and I didn't even know, well, I knew, I was just a little confused as to why I was feeling so attracted to a dude. You know the whole,

"But I like girls...I think...so why do I like this dude?"

That situation. I was so confused. Then I kept liking him more and more each day. Then when I got a boner in class, I knew I wasn't one hundred percent straight. God that was embarrassing. No-one could see or anything. I'd just been staring at Gerard, who was staring out the window cause it was open (It was summer. Scorching) and kept licking his lips cause they kept going dry from the heat and the little breeze. Yeah, so that was that. Then the teacher asked me a question and I didn't know what the answer was so she gave me a detention for not paying attention. (No rhyme intended) Then she asked Gerard who was just like,

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I was staring out the window, this class is boring."

I started laughing and I got an extra hour and Gee got two hours straight away for being "disrespectful to the teacher." God, it was funny but embarrassing at the same time. My mom was fine with it once I told her the whole reason behind my lack of attention. She was like,

"Oh, I get it. I always thought you'd be one to get confused."

She's totally fine with it and loves Gee to pieces. I do too, obviously. We went to the park today and both ended up on the same swing together making-out. It was good! The park near my house is always empty so it was okay, no homophobic comments. Me and Bob (and now Gerard) practically own that park cause no-one goes there. Bob beat the shit out of the last guy who was there but he was a bastard to Bob anyway so he had a right to.

SHIT!

Sorry, I have to go! Gerard's here and he's attacking me! I'd write more but ya know! Love ya diary!

ox Frank.