These Words Are All I Have so I'll Write Them

Dear Diary.

Please kill me. I have had the worst day in the history of high school and to top it off, FRANK WASN'T THERE!!! *Cries* I had a horrible day and everyone was yelling at me and throwing stuff and having a go at me and......it was just horrible. Yet, I'm proud of myself. You'll never guess what I didn't do.

I-didn't-cut.

I was going to. Then Mikey walked in the room because mom had told him that I had run upstairs crying after school. So he spoke to me. I told him about Frank and he talked some sense into me. Ah. Little brothers. Aren't they great? Well, they are if they're Mikey. So. I'm, hoping that Frank is in tomorrow. Or else I might just top myself. But then...

I won't ever see him again...

That settles it. Suicide is OUT of the question completely. Oh I wanna see him. I miss him. And I'm such a fucking fairy! God. I haven't said two words to him and I'm going mad over him. I'm such a retard. Why would he like me anyway? I mean. He's probably straight, he's really hot and I'm just...fat and gay. Okay. Well. I'm not fat. I'm just chunky. My mom says it's all muscle but I think I look fat. Never mind. Oh Diary. What am I gonna do?

Drink myself stupid?

Na. Nobody likes an alcoholic. Which I already am anyway but I can fix that.

Yeah yeah! I know what you're thinking!

"What? The same way you fixed your cutting problem?"

No! I'm gonna fix it and I MEAN IT! I'll fix my little issue with the razor blades too! IN YOUR FACE BITCH! Sorry for yelling at you again. I didn't mean it. I'm just really wound up. And hurt. And upset and...well, you get the picture. I should ask Frankie for his number...wait.

Frankie?

Frank.

But I should. Then I can call him. (No shit.) Oh what does my mom want NOW? Aright. I have to go. Someone's at the door for me.

Odd. That NEVER happens.

Oh well. So long Diary.

Love Gerard.

ox.