Letting Go

MAX P.O.V.

I felt Fang put me down on the bed. Poor Fang. I couldn't believe Jeb told him that. I couldn't believe it was actually his purpose. I suddenly felt extremely selfish. But it couldn't be true, could it? Knowing Jeb, he was probably lying through his teeth. It was like he hated Fang for some reason. Why?

I kept my eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep. In truth, I had fallen asleep. But when I heard Jeb's voice all cold like it used to be, I woke with a start. Thankfully, Fang didn't notice and I shut my eyes again, listening carefully. Ok, so I was eavesdropping on the conversation in a way, but the way Jeb had spoke before sounded like he was going to kill Fang. And I couldn't let that happen, could I?

I still felt Fang's presence in the room. Don't ask how I can do that. I really don't know. Huh. Now that I think of it, maybe what Jeb said was more true than I thought.

After a moment, I heard Fang sigh and felt the bed sheets being pulled over me. He touched my face once, then I heard him leave the room, his feet falling abnormally loudly on the floor. Fang was usually so silent. It worried me.

I opened my eyes into the dark room. I caught myself absentmindedly touching my face where Fang had touched me. What was wrong with me?

Sure, Fang loved me. I had got that far. But did I really love him? I would do anything for him, anything to make him happy, I owed him that. But did that mean I loved him? I certainly didn't deserve him. Fang was perfect. Strong, silent, mysterious, dark, handsome...

Gah! Why do I even think that? Fang's my best friend. Would I risk losing that if things didn't work out? Even more, what would happen to the flock? That was something I could never risk.

My eyes adjusted to the light and my gaze fell to the floor by the open window. A breeze blew through it, sending the curtains fluttering, and a single black feather rolled along the ground. My heart leaped. Over that. I sighed. Maybe I was in deeper than I thought.

I tossed the the bed sheets off me and stepped carefully across the floor toward the window, picking up the feather. I ran my finger along the edge carefully, and continued to walk toward the window. The moon shone through and made the feather glow purple. Just like Fang's wings in the sun.

Errrr... I strode quickly away from the window, but stopped before I reached my bed. I sighed, took a few deep breaths. I looked at the feather again. I reached around my shoulder and grabbed one of my own feathers, putting it next to Fang's... I mean the black one.

I walked over to the window and sat in front of it on the floor, looking up at the moon. It had a bunch of little pockmarks in it. It reminded me of a chocolate chip cookie. Fang's eyes were like chocolate chips...

I placed the feathers on the ground and pulled my legs in towards me. I sighed. The flock was very important. We had to stick together, we had learned that. But even if I hated Fang, I would still stay with the flock for the sake of the flock. And I was pretty sure Fang was the same.

And who had to know? We could always whisk away from reality for a little while. Literally, since Fang could do that disappearing thing. And there was always the night. Everyone was asleep. Who would know?

A breeze blew through again and sent the two feathers tumbling to my feet. They caught my toes. Ironically enough, the shape they made with my feet was a heart. I laughed a little.

I guess I had made my choice. I was going to surrender. Secretly. I loved Fang. A lot. And it was time to stop playing hard to get. I had to tell him.

Max?

Angel! Hey Sweetie. What's wrong?

It took Angel a minute before responding. It's Fang... he's seems kinda... really sad. And angry at the same time. It's weird. He won't let me in to talk to him.

Fang. I remembered the heavy footsteps. I was at the door before Angel finished. Don't worry about it. I'll go talk to him.

Ok Max. Good Luck. He's in his room.

Thanks sweetie. Try to get some sleep, ok?

Ok.

I started down the hallway towards Fang's room two doors down when I heard angered voices coming from the kitchen. Fang thought I was still asleep. I decided to check it out first.

I hid myself behind the corner at the top of the stairs and peeked through the railing to the main floor. Standing in the kitchen was my Mom and Jeb. Mom was sitting on the island, arms crossed. Jeb was staring out the kitchen window, his back turned to Mom.

"I told you already, there's nothing I can do." Jeb's voice was pleading.

"There's got to be something! Don't you see? If you let them it could risk the whole operation! Haven't you ever read a novel?"

What was my Mom talking about? It made no sense.

"What kind of novel?" Jeb asked quietly turning slightly to face her.

My Mom rolled her eyes and jumped to the floor. "Love is a weakness. It's the first thing the bad guys jump on."

Jeb raised an eyebrow. "And what happened in the endings of all those romances? Love saves the day. Besides, the relationship between them is nothing new."

"What do you mean?" my Mom asked confused. I agreed. I had no idea what they were talking about.

Jeb sighed. "A few years ago, Max and Fang split the flock. The guys went with Fang, the girls with Max. The reason? Because Max let Ari join the flock. The girls and Ari went to Europe and eventually got caught. Max managed to get a message out to the boys, and guess who came running?"

"Well the boys did obviously. The other half of the flock was in trouble. Max sorta told me about this. They learned they couldn't split the flock."

They were talking about us? More specifically, Fang and me. Jeb might know a bit since he was the voice (or so I thought), but I didn't tell my Mom anything about what happened after.

"You're missing the point!" Jeb shouted. Then he calmed down. "You didn't see them after. I swear, they will never leave each other again. And they both put the flock before everything. That's how it was supposed to be. We planned for this! Why are you freaking out now?"

Suddenly I felt a hand on my back between my wings, and someone whisper shhhh... in my ear. I knew that voice. It was Fang.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"Shh... listen. They're talking about us." I whispered.

"Wh... what about us...?"

I reached back and grabbed his hand and looked into his chocolate eyes. I wanted so much to kiss him right then, but I was interrupted when my Mom replied.

"Because I just got her back," my Mom whispered so quietly only Fang and I could have heard it. Then louder she said, "You've seen them grow up. You've seen their whole lives. I haven't. I got back a daughter I never thought I'd see. I don't want anything to happen to her."

"And you don't think I think that too?!" Jeb bit back. "I had to hurt her just to keep with the plan. Do you have any idea how hard that was? Anyways, Fang would never hurt her. I would trust Fang with her life any day."

I heard Fang gasp behind me. That was big. I squeezed his hand. I would trust my life to him any day too.

"How can you know that? How do you know he won't ditch her?"

"Don't you remember anything about the plan? Each of the flock was made for a specific purpose. And one of Fang's was to protect Max. It would go against his nature to hurt her." Jeb said.

Note to self. Give Fang more freedom. I felt really selfish now.

My Mom leaned against the island, thinking for a minute. Then she sighed. "Alright, but I still don't think it's a good idea. Keep an eye on them. Today wasn't the first night they've come back late... Don't think I don't see them sneaking out every so often."

I cringed. Fang squeezed my hand.

"I know. Tonight, I agree they should have come back with Nudge and Iggy. But I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason. You have to give them some freedom." Jeb argued back.

"Coming back at one in the morning? That's just unreasonable!" My mum yelled. It was almost funny.

"How can you expect them to have reason? They've been on their own for years! How can you expect them to know what's acceptable! This is the first time we've caught them. You can't expect them to know."

I was starting to re-think the decision I had made before... there were a lot more factors to this that just friendship and the flock. Why did it have to be so hard? Making sure everyone was ok while beating the crap out of erasers was easier.

Fang must have sensed something because he wrapped his arm around my waist, still holding my hand, and muttered shhh... into my ear again.

"Well then we should tell them right?" my Mom asked.

"I'll talk to them in the morning." Jeb said.

My Mom sighed. "I can't believe you convinced me to sign up for this years ago. It's just way to crazy. It makes everything complicated. I'm going to bed. Goodnight." Mom started to walk away. Then Jeb did something completely unexpected. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"Listen, I'm sorry..." he started, but my Mom pulled her hand back and started walking up the stairs. Fang helped me up and we ran as quietly as we could back to the bedrooms, racing my Mom.

I leaned toward my room and pulled Fang inside.

"Wait." I said when he looked at me. "She's going check to make sure I really am here. And she won't be to happy finding you here. Go. I'll meet you in your room when she's gone."

"How do you know that?" Fang asked quickly, already almost out the window.

"Because I would do the same thing." I said simply, climbing into bed. And Fang was gone.

"And no just being invisible!" I whispered just in case. I heard the wood creak as he let go of the window.

Sure enough, my Mom poked her head into my room. I kept my eyes glued shut, frantically hoping it didn't look fake.

"Max, Max!" she whispered, shaking me. Shit.

I decided it was justified that I would attack if someone tried to wake me of all people. So that's what I did.

"Shhh... Max relax, it's just me."

"Oh..." I relaxed, trying to make it look as casual as possible.

"Are you alright?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." I said quickly, maybe too fast.

"You sure? You came back late tonight. Did something happen?" My mom asked, concern plastered all over her face.

And I remembered thinking much earlier that Mom had sent me to the dance so I'd get over myself and trust Fang. Turned out I was wrong.

"Oh yeah.... listen, Mom, I'm really tired. I'll tell you in the morning." I made up.

"Ok, get some rest. Remember, you can tell me anything." My Mom said. How cheesy was that? No offense Mom, but I think I'd almost sooner tell Fang.

"Yeah. Ok. Night Mom."

"Goodnight Max."

I waited until I heard my Mom close her bedroom door before I opened my eyes and started climbing out of bed.

"You really are a wonderful actress you know that."

I spun towards the source of the sound, the window. I only relaxed when I saw Fang perched there. I walked over to the window and punched him in the shoulder, but not hard enough that he'd fall out. Then I pulled him into the room.

"So... that was..." Fang said unable to find the words.

I turned my back on him. "Yeah..." I said quietly.

Before I knew it, he was behind me, his arms wrapped around me. "Shh... it's going to be alright, you'll think of something to tell your Mom come morning."

"That's not what I'm worried about." I said quickly.

Fang said nothing, not uncommon, but then I realized he was trying to figure out what was wrong without actually asking me. I turned around to face him, and his hands fell to my hips. I was about to say something when I looked up at him, but when I met his eyes, the words stuck in my throat.

"I..." I choked out. I got another shh... as Fang met my eyes, his gaze intent, focused. Then his eyes widened. He brought his hand up to my face and brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes.

It was quiet for what seemed like forever, both of us just staring into each other's eyes. But then Fang tilted his head to the side slightly, a curious expression on his face.

And just when I was about to turn away, he pulled me back and kissed me.