Cancer

I didn't realize until the moment that he reached out and pulled me into him that I had never touched Ryan before. The pressure of his body was odd; it was so thin, so frail, and yet so strong and unyielding at the same time. His embrace was the opposite of Brendon's: where Brendon was soft and warm, Ryan was cold and rather bony--but not in an entirely unpleasant way.

Standing there, crying on Ryan's shoulder with his arms around me, I felt more secure than I ever had with Brendon. I felt protected and safe, like nothing could ever get to me when he was holding me like that.

Brendon's embrace offered more affection than security. At the time, I had thought that his love would be enough to save me, and maybe it would have been--trouble was, it hadn't lasted.