And You Thought Your School Sucked

Jaysmin

When I got back to my the school, I went immediatly to my dorm and shut and locked the door behind me. Kasey and I never locked the door anymore, because we realized within the first two days that neither of us would ever remember the key.

I pulled off my sweatshirt and stood in front of my full length mirror that hung on the back of the door. My clothes were definitly bigger on me then they had been this morning. It was as if I had shrunk. Or lost twenty or thirty pounds.

"What the hell is going on?" I murmured. My voice was quiet, even though the people in the hallway already knew I was famous for yelling at myself when I got frustrated, never mind talking in a normal voice on a daily basis. So why the hell was it that I was whispering?

Despite what the voices in my head told me, I pulled my sweatshirt back on and opened the door when the bell rang. I had decided to go to class, because I had to see Benji. I had to tell him what was going on. I was scared because of the way I looked. It was as if I was being eaten alive from the inside. I ran to my class, which was on the other side of the building, but I was weak and slow. I was still ten minutes late. I slipped into the room, the teacher saying that I had a detention without even turning around, and went to my seat. Benji was there, as was Aaron, who looked royally pissed, but Kasey and Brett were both absent. That was okay though. I couldn't take any more of Brett acting like a concerned mother and Kasey acting all pissy towards me. I sat down, dropping the book I had actually remembered to take on my way out the door.

"Benji, I need to talk to you." I said. Talking in this class earned you a detention. But my voice was quiet enough that I had a hard time hearing myself.

Don't do it! The voice in my head snapped. A wave of nausea crashed down on me when it spoke.

Shut up! I screamed inside my head, trying to get the voices out. Fighting it made my stomache hurt.

"...What?" Benji whispered without looking at me.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't-" I started.

Don't you dare say it! The voice yelled in my head. It was obviousl angry. I swayed slightly in my seat, dizzy as all hell. This got Benji's attention and he turned to me and looked me over. His eyes, which were almost as lifeless as mine, returned to normal when he looked me in the eyes. Then as he took in the rest of my features, the pale skin, chapped lips, protruding bones and veins, his eyes changed from normal to worried.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked, touching my hand gently.

"I don't know. Benji, I'm scared." I said in my whisper voice. "But this isn't what I needed to talk to you about. What I said earlier.. In my room... I didn't mean it." I said.

I'll kill you if you don't shut up! The voice in my head screamed. My head pounded and my stomache rolled over.

"Hey, Jay, you look like your going to pass out." Benji whispered, his voice anxious.

"Benji, I do love you too." I managed to spit out. The voice in my head roared with anger at my disobedience. I felt as if my head were filled with a thousand sirens, all going off all at once. Before, the voice had been cold, but strangely pretty. Now it was horrid sounding, like the sound of nails on a chalk board. The teacher, who had been writing something on the board, turned around and frowned when he saw me.

I was bent in half now, one arm wrapped around my middle, the other holding my head. I could barely function.

You'll pay for this. The voice yelled. I felt like something was missing from my insides. Some vital organ that I needed in order to make my brain work. My heart? Was my heart acting up or something? Did I contract some weird heart disease from that basement thing?

"Jay, Jay, are you listening to me?" Benji asked, waving a hand in front of my face. He appeared to have asked me a question. I turned slightly and looked at him. "I'm going to take you to the nurse, okay?" He questioned. I nodded once, then got supremley dizzy. He stood, then reached for my hand to help me to my feet. I reached out to take it, but then realized that my arm hadn't moved at all. "Jay?" He questioned.

I looked at him, but then all I saw was black. My brain gave up the fight with whatever was making my sick.

The voice. The voice was what was making me sick. Of this I was sure.

"Jay!" Benji exclaimed. I felt myself falling backwards, then the cold of the floor as my head hit it, just before my back and then the rest of me. I could see slightly as Benji dropped to his knees and felt my neck for a pulse. He announced that I had one, and slipped his arms under me to lift me up.

Then I knew nothing else.