You Make My Heart Do Funny Things

I can’t believe that stupid doctor came to my frigging home! I told her yesterday not to involve anyone and now that she turned up on my door step there’s bound to be questions!

Slamming the door to the bathroom and locking it, I curse the fact that I no longer had my own room and placed the folder that my doctor had given me on top of the sink. I stare at it for a while before opening it and looking at the contents which turned out to be info leaflets and a kind of time table with all of my future appointments at the hospital.

I scan through the appointment list and find that I’m not only down for physical examinations but also counselling, where they will probably try to convince me that dieing isn’t such a bad thing while I’ll be sorting out a will and paying for a funeral at the same time.

This is so unfair! Why did this have to happen to me? Why now? I can’t leave just as Naomi’s treatment seems to of started working. I’ve just gotten into my first serious relationship and other than that I’ve done nothing with my life! I wanted to travel the world, start a band, get married and live my life to the full until I died having an affair in a huge cabin on a skiing trip in the Italian Alps! (not that I tend to think about that kind of stuff).

Somebody knocked on the door and I snapped out of my own self pity before scrambling to get all the papers and leaflets together and hidden behind the toilet before I opened the door.

“Are you alright Frank?” it was Naomi, she looked worried and was shaking despite it being warm.

“Uh…yeah, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” I lied staring the microscopic patterns on my fingers. To tell the truth, my chest had started to ache as if those papers had stabbed me and was now twisted the blade.

Naomi looked at me with a disbelieving look before asking what I knew she would; “Who was she, that woman at the door?”

“Um, she was one of Kat’s friends, she just came to give me a message.”

“What was the folder for?”

“Folder?” shit! I’d forgotten that she had seen that! “Um…it was…some plans?”

“Plans?”

“Yeah plans! For…Kat’s secret birthday party!” Nice save!

“Birthday party? Her birthday isn’t for another 4 months!” …maybe not.

For fucks sake! All her questions were starting to piss me off now! I give her look as if she was stupid “Yeah but it’s better to get it all planned out early isn’t it? And what’s with all the questions?” I all but shouted at her, my hand flew to my chest as a sharp pain scored across it.

“Yeah I suppose,” she mumbled staring at my hand caressing my chest “I need to ask you something anyway.”

“What?” I gasp. I need some pain med because this is killing me! Literally!

“I’ve book myself in for another appointment at the hospital for next week and I wanted you, Gerard and Mikey to come with me this time.”

The pain in my chest seemed to subside a little as I stared at my cousin in shock.

“Another appointment? But I thought the treatment was working!”

“Yeah, that’s what we all thought but I’m starting to feel just as weak as I did before treatment,” her voice trembled and tears flooded her eyes as she finished her sentence in a whisper, “I don’t think its working!”

Forgetting my own pain I pull the fragile girl into my arms and held her close while she cried her worries out onto my shirt. As I comforted her I could feel my own tears build up and as the first one fell I saw Gerard standing and watching us with the look of serious depression haunting his features before he walked over and enveloped both me and Naomi in a huge bear hug.

After a while of us clinging to each other as if for dear life Mikey walked in and after watching us for a moment screamed ‘Group hug!’ and also joined in. We laughed slightly at him and all pulled away from each other. After wiping the tears from Naomi’s face I kissed her forehead earning a small smile.

“What was the sob fest for then guys?” I heard Mikey ask and I realised that Naomi hadn’t told him yet.

“When’s your appointment?” I whispered in her ear, ignoring Mikey for the moment.

“Friday, 12:30”

“Ok, don’t worry, I’ll be there.” I smile encouragingly at her before giving her one last hug “But if your wanting Mikey to come it might be best to let him know what’s going on so he doesn’t mistake it as a trip to Disney land!”

She laughed wetly before grabbing Mikey’s hand and led him away to the kitchen with Gerard supporting her.

“Aren’t you coming Frank?” Mikey asked me looking worried as to what he was going to be told.

“Yeah, in a bit, Naomi caught me at a bad time before!” I joked best I could while gesturing at the bathroom before running in and locking the door again.

I quickly pulled out the folder from behind the toilet and scattered the papers all over the floor searching for that paper with all the appointments on it. When I found it I quickly searched for my first physical examination and my heart sank as I read the date:

Physical Exam #1: Friday 21st, 12:45

Shit. I felt like crying all over again as I listened to Mikey’s angry yells and ranting about how unfair it all was. I couldn’t agree more.