Love hurts, but only mine kills.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could out of that room. Out the door, down the street and into a back alley. I slid down the wall and curled up into a ball. I felt physically sick. All these years I've known how wrong what I did was, but only now does it sound so evil. Hearing it out loud- it just made it so real.

All my pain, blurred by tears, faded to black as I passed out in the silent street.
*-*-*-*

I woke up an looked around. The alley was different to before- maybe because now it was dark and emptier and quieter than I thought possible. I glanced at my watch- 4:01 am- I'd obviously missed the show- and dinner. My phone flashed and vibrated as 'GAVx' (gay I know but thats the kind of person I am) popped up on the screen. I canceled it and the display said '17 missed calls'. 6 from Gav, 3 from Ian, 4 from Snoz, 2 from Bob and 2 from Rhys- I remembered that Matt's phone was dead.

A girl- in her late thirties walked past the alley. She was dressed in a fitted business suit which had a name tag clipped to the breast (lol) pocket. She saw me and walked over.

"Oh my god! Are you alright? Do you need help?" she asked worriedly, extending her hand

"Don't touch me" I shouted and slapped her hand away, I started to cry. I felt a sharp pain in my side and I pulled up my top to reveal a large, bloody bruise and graze. My leg was in pain as well and now I could feel blood trickling down my forehead. Someone must of attacked me when I was unconscious, y'know just for fun, I felt in my pocket and I noticed my ipod and wallet were gone. They didn't steal my phone though- no one in their right mind would want my-pile-of-junk phone.

"Oh you poor dear you must of been mugged! It's a good job my work has very late night office parties or else I wouldn't of found you," She grabbed my hand and smiled; this time I let her help me to my feet, "It's alright, love, I think I'll take you back to mine to get cleaned up" she sighed as she helped me walk along the road, "You poor, poor dear, you don't look any older than 25... My name is Angie"

"Sean" I managed to wheeze out.

We struggled about half a mile until she helped me into her car. I lay in the back seat as Angie sped down the street. About thirty minuets later we pulled up into the drive of a large house in a sweet, quiet cul-de-sac. Angie heaved me out of the car, through the door and onto the sofa in her living room, her decoration was very stylish but homey and that sofa was the most comfortable thing I've ever sat on in my life.

Upstairs, I heard someone moving around. They trundled down the stairs, yelling "Ange! What the hell do you call this time!" Angie smiled apologetically and got up, she was about to leave to go see the man, but he burst through the door flailing his arms around.

"You know I stayed up late last night watching the star trek movie marathon!" his booming voice hurt my tired ears, "If you're going to come back late, at least keep it down-"

"Shh" Angie put her finger to her lips and sort of pointed at me with her eyes, he was instantly silent when he saw me.

"Who the hell is this guy? Why the hell is he in my house?"

"Nick, I found him beaten up in the street! I couldn't just leave him!"

"He could be a druggie, or a rapist!"

"He has a name, y'know- it's Sean"

"Are you sure he didn't touch you anywhere?!"

"NICK! He's just a kid!"

"You can't just bring strangers back to our house at half four in the morning!"

"I could just go," I said trying to stand up, "I don't want you two to have an argument because of me" My voice was silent compared to their shouts. Nick's face softened and his lips curved into a sympathetic smile, maybe I have a charm that makes people feel sorry for me.

"I think we need to clean you up," Nick said, "Don't worry- I'm a doctor" They lead me into their kitchen and sat me down on the stool at the breakfast bar. Angie pulled a large green bag with a white cross on it from the cupboard and sat it down next to me. Nick washed his hands and took a large antiseptic swab from the bag and dabbed my cut forehead with it. I winced in pain as he cleaned the cut thoroughly, frowning in concentration.

"So? Did you get a good look of the guys who did this to you?" Angie asked

"No, They did it to me while I was already passed out in the street" I whispered, cringing in pain as Nick moved on to the cuts on my neck.

"Oh, did you have a bit too much to drink?" Nick said

"Oh no, no, I don't drink. I just collapsed at about six and woke up with all these cuts. And they took my wallet and ipod"

"Oh honey, why did you collapse?" Angie sounded quite worried

"Well I'd just told my best friends my deepest darkest secret and they didn't take it well so I ran to the alley- I think I just collapsed due to stress" Angie mouthed 'oh'. I smiled at her, "Your wondering what I told them aren't you?"

"No! Well...yeah"

"It was just something terrible I did to someone when I was a kid"

"All kids are cruel"

"Yeah, but not all kids are murderers" Nick finished cleaning up my cuts and covering me in micro-pore tape and plasters

"What?" He asked, his brown furrowing, "You killed someone?"

"It was an accident...I swear, I'm so sorry" I whined putting my head in my hands. Angie smiled slightly and lead me into the spare room. I curled up on the bed- not bothering to get under the covers- and fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, well, later that morning, I got up, thanked Nick and Angie and set off for the bus. My face was Still fucked, with bruises and cuts around my left eye and mouth, but it was a lot better than what I looked like last night.

Slowly I walked up to the tour bus' door and Let myself in. Just as I opened the door Gavin said "Bob is that you have you found-" He stopped dead when he saw me, his eyes began to well, "You fucker! You fucking fucker! You fucking fucking fucker! Where the fuck have you been? huh? I've been worried sick- we all have! You didn't have the decency to call, did you?" he started to hit my chest, I screamed in pain and fell to the floor.

"Sean? Are you alright I didn't mean to hit you so hard!" I lifted my shirt to show him the bruises on my chest, "OHMIGOD! What happened to you chest?! And your face?!"

"I was attacked and mugged"

"I'm so sorry!" he hugged me and wiped his eyes

"Don't be, I deserved it" I walked away from him and sat on the sofa at the end of the bus. Ian was sleeping, mumbling and talking in his sleep, I smiled at him.

"He's been worried sick over you" Gavin whispered

"Don't you think its weird how we're good friends with him, yet he is one of our idols"

"Do you remember when you first met him? 'OHMIGOD OHMIFUCKINGGOD ITSFUCKINGIANWATKINS" he impersonated me quite well, actually.

Ian stirred and then opened his eyes

"Sean?" He questioned, "Sean," He said it elatedly, "Sean?" he said remembering what happened, "SEAN!" he yelled angrily through gritted teeth. Wow, I've never known someone to be so slow in the mornings. "You fucking retard! When the flying fuck have you been?"

I knew I'd be getting a lot of 'where have you been'. It was definitely going to be a long day.