Love hurts, but only mine kills.

“We’re sat, sat on top of the world, and I said, said that you’d be the girl, who’d stop me, stop me fucking around, and I said, you’d keep my feet on the ground,” I sang to myself as I strode through the city by the cover of darkness. I wasn’t afraid of walking through the back alleys now; I guess that’s an up side of killing. I’m not afraid; I swear I’m not afraid.

What the fuck was that? That bang- didn’t you hear it? My pace quickened as I heard footsteps behind me, shadowing my movements. Acting on impulse, I ran as fast as I could, trying to out sprint my insecurities. There was someone there, someone running after me, gaining on me.

I hit a wall. Not a literal wall, one of those runners walls, I hadn’t eaten well or drank much; I guess I just ran out of fuel. It wasn’t one of those ‘I can’t move a muscle’ kind of wall, more of a small garden wall, but I still fell. You could say I tripped over the wall. It doesn’t matter, the important details are; I’m lying on the floor and someone is after me.

I lay still, trying to breathe quietly, but my chest is heaving. The footsteps I heard behind me had now slowed to a casual stroll, I looked up at them, but the one working street light behind them blinded my already exhausted eyes. They just stood over me, just watching.

That’s when I started to remember, it was like a flashback. It was like I was seventeen again; lying in the dirt, covered in cuts and bruises, and scared. Those memories scar, those memories make me hate everyone.

“Well hello there,” I didn’t recognise the voice, my head felt as if it was full of cotton wool and I couldn’t sort out my thoughts, “Are you afraid?”
I let out an uncontrollable sob, I just wanted to go home, see my mam, and my brother, I wanted to be free again. I nodded my head slightly, grazing my cheek on the pavement.
“Good,” he sneered and kicked me hard in the ribs, I bent double and coughed and choked for air, for oxygen that had just been winded out of me. He laughed, loudly, his booming voice hurting my achy head. He kicked me again, this time in the stomach, making want to throw up. I tried to curl into a ball, but he rolled me on my back and put his foot on my ribs.
“Ever heard bones snap?” He cackled, raising his foot, I yelled ‘no’ desperately at him, he laughed again, “I make a deal; you give me money and I won’t snap all your ribs- ok,”
“I…I don’t have any money,” I whispered truthfully, he glared at me,
“Wrong answer,” He raised his foot above my ribs and was about to stamp down when four people ran towards us.
“Hey! Leave him alone,” one said, my attacker ran off, clearly out numbered. The four came closer.
“Hey little buddy are you alri- Sean?!” I squinted up at the person,
“Jamie?” I looked around, Mike, Lee and Stu were there, I couldn’t deal with this, not now. They stood there, just staring, saying nothing; what do you say to the man who killed your best friend? I curled up into a ball and waited for a beating.
“Did you, y’know, did you do it?” Mike asked, I nodded, staring at the floor, “tell us what happened.”
“He cried…and…h-he fought b-bac-k, I had t-to th-they were going to s-se-end me away,” I stuttered, “I don’t wanna go away,” I wept, “I wanna stay with Gav and the guys, I don’t wanna go away-”
“He’s fucking insane,” Jamie growled
“Jame, I know what he did was unforgivable and, yes, he did cut us deep, real deep, but I think he’s an ill man,” Lee said
“Ill?” Stu asked
“Yeah, y’know, mentally” Mike, Stu and Jamie shared an ‘oh’, “we should take him to the hospital, the psyche ward,”
“He’s not going to go quietly,” Stu interjected, Jamie smirked,
“Leave that to me,” And that’s when he knocked me out.