Emergency

In this house, I mention, that I am once more, alone.
In fact I say this quite a lot to myself. I realize that it is childish to speak to the air, to a non-being, but I have nothing else to do.
Today, the day is bright. The sun is low in the sky though because it has barely woken up from it's slumber. It is tired, but it will grow more joyus as the day proceeds.
I do not know joy, I have no knowledge of it's power of humans. I do not understand how it can be happy and shine so brightly.
I watch the pavement, and compare it to the long, long grass in the lawn. It is so tidy, that pavement. How is it so tidy when dirty boots and heels smack across it day after day, hour after hour?

Once more, I do not understand.
I do not understand a lot of things.

This house is so dark, I think, averting my eyes from the tidy pavement and to the dirty, old ceiling. But who am I to label dark?
For all I know, dark is light and light is dark. I do not know! I only have the knowledge that I have peiced together in my mind.
I learned words from listening to the people in the outside world.
The outside world, yes that is what I call it.
And no matter how much I tried to convince myself I didn't want to go out there, my heart ached with longing and I whimpered in sadness, which made my guts throbb.
I hugged my legs to my chest. I looked back through my window, my portal to the outside world.
Teenagers were starting to walk out of their houses, muttering distant 'goodbyes' to their parents. I leaned closer. I saw a boy my age with thick brown hair put his arm around a girl with shimmering locks(my age too) and hold her close when he was out of sight of his mother. My heart panged.
I groaned and put my fists to my forehead, closing my eyes. I opened them again.
The boy looked up to the house as if he had heard me. But that was impossible.
I sat up straighter, knowing he would stare straight through me like everyone else. He frowned and his eyes scanned the windows. I wondered how many windows there were.
I watched him. Then his eys fell to my window. Our eyes met. I felt my heart speed up in panic or adrenaline. He gave a start. The girl turned her shimmery head and gazed at him in concern.
This is not supposed to happen, This is not supposed to happen!
My eyes widened.
Help me. Get me out, I found myself thinking.
No! No! This is not supposed to happen! my consciousness screamed.
But internal desire pulled me to him. I pressed my face upon the dirty glass, my eyes still locked with his scared ones.
Don't be afraid, I thought fiercly. Save me!
I knew he was the one who could save me. My consciousness told me so. He could get me out.
He could lead me away, and he would hug me like that girl. He would be my friend.
My very first friend, I thought dimly, drunken with my own fantasy happiness as the girl with the shimmering head tugged him angrily from my gaze.
My very first friend.