Okay I hate you and you secretly love me

I stayed against my wall for who knows how long, both my parents and Quinn banging on the door asking what was wrong. And eventually even the guys showed up begging me to let them in, but all I did was bang my head against the door trying to get the mental image out of my mind.

I finally had enough of their whining and begging. So I stood up, turned on my radio as high as possible although it was making my mirror vibrate, and started to look through my dresser for something. I sighed once I finally felt the cold material, I pulled out the bottle and climbed over to my bed. I wasn’t going to be stupid to cut myself, or start doing drugs…but I’d do the same thing I did whenever I got used…drink until I pass out and ignore my hang over as much as I could in the morning.

I sighed knowing that Quinn would be the one to break down the door in the morning, spot the bottle of vodka, and probably think I drank myself to death. All I hoped was that my parents didn’t see me passed out, that’s all I need is a crying Mother, and a pissed off Father.

I shook my head hoping to stop all thinking, I twisted off the cap to the bottle, lifted it up to my mouth and started to chug. I hated taking the first sip, it made my skin crawl and my nose twitch up in disgust, but after a few sips I got used to it.

It only took me half an hour to finish the bottle, and right now my thoughts were of random things…like if tacos had hearts, what penguins say after one night stands…and most of all why Leon would lie to me. But as soon as those thoughts entered my mind, I picked up the empty bottle and chucked it across the room. It slammed against the wall with a sickening crack, and I knew my parents and everyone had heard it.

“ Bellz? Are you okay?” Quinn asked knocking on the door.

I was shocked I could hear him over the blasting music, but I knew if I even talked my voice would crack, and not even be loud enough for him to hear. So I nodded like an idiot. There was silence for a few moments so I took it as a chance to go to sleep. I kicked off my shoes, slid off my clothes and slid underneath the blankets in my underwear.

I don’t know how but some time during the night Quinn managed to get into my room and turn off the radio. He was lying at the foot of my bed, using my hoodie as a pillow since he was to lazy to go get his. I let out a painful groan and rolled over kicking his head in the process.

“ Mind explaining why there’s a broken vodka bottle on the floor?” He asked poking the bottom of my foot.

I kicked at him, “ go away.”

He sighed, the bed moved as he shifted his weight, and suddenly my face was filled with a blinding light, I let out a low hiss and shoved him in the chest hoping to make him move, but all it did was make him grab my wrists so I stopped, “ tell me why the hell your drinking again.”

I groaned and opened my lift eye, “ close the blinds first.”

He sighed, reached over and adjusted them so the room was dark once again, I let out a comfortable sigh and rubbed both of my eyes. “ Now explain.”

I sat up and pulled my blanket closer to me, “ Leon’s been cheating on me…I saw him and some stupid cheerleader mouth fucking each other at the game yesterday.” I answered looking at my hands.

“ Did he say anything about it?” I looked at him slightly shocked, I had expected him to stand up and start yelling.

I shook my head, “ but he looked like he was enjoying it….he used me Quinn.” I choked out the last part as tears started to sting my eyes violently.

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into one of his bear hugs despite the fact I was in my underwear, he let out a shaky sigh and squeezed me tighter, “ that doesn’t mean to drink right away, I don’t want to you to die of alcohol poisoning.”

I nodded against his shoulder, “ are the guys still here?”

He nodded as he rested his head on mine, “ they all crashed in the living room, and Mom and Dad went to work although they didn’t want to.”

I sighed, “ how’d you get in?”

He laughed softly, “ this used to be my room, all you have to do is lift up the door a bit, apply preasure on the frame and slam into the door.”

I sighed, “ I need to fix that…”

He laughed and hugged me tighter for a few seconds, " no, then if you do die we'd never know until your corpse makes the house stink."

I smiled weakly, " thanks."

He sighed, " no problem...now come on, we need to let the guys know your still alive."

I nodded and pulled away, " wait in the hallway so i can get dressed."

He stood up and saluted me like an idiot, " yes Ma'am!"