For the Last Night I Lie, Could I Lie With You?

From the moment I woke up the next morning I was totally inconsolable. Gerard's aunt would be coming at 2 o' clock to take him away. Although I can assure you it won't be a peaceful goodbye. I'm afraid I'll be dragged down the street, holding onto the bumper of their car.

Gerard and I sat up in our bed. I leaned on Gerard's chest, almost hyperventilating, tears streaking down my face. Gerard stroked my hair, sniffing quietly.

"Gosh, I'm so pathetic." I breathed.

"Why do you say that?" Gerard asked.

"Because here I sit crying my eyes out, having a freaking panic attack and you're all cool, calm, and collected."

"I'm not calm, cool, or collected, Bri. I'm just as torn up as you."

"You're not showing it."

"I didn't think I had to."

"Good point."

"Cheer up a bit, Bri. We still have a few hours."

"Yeah, that's true. I'm sorry."

I breathed deeply, trying to settle myself down. I wiped away my tears and snuggled deeper into Gerard's t-shirt. He rubbed my back and I held his one free hand.

Suddenly my nose caught a whiff of something. It was the aroma of food wafting through the vent in my ceiling. He remembered. I had asked my dad to make special pancakes for Gerard this morning. I wasn't sure if he'd remember, but apparently he did.

I smiled and sat up. Gerard looked alert and I grinned at him, allowing him to relax some more.

"Let's go downstairs." I said.

Gerard looked a little confused by my sudden change in mood, but he got out of bed and followed me down the stairs. Sitting on the kitchen table were two plates of my love pancakes. My dad had already left the kitchen after leaving the griddle on the sove next to the leftover mix in case we wanted more.

Gerard, who was absolutely elated by my little surprise, sat down to his plate of pancakes. He started giggling when he took a closer look at them. All of them were bright red and shaped like hearts.

I sat in my chair behind him and handed him a fork, smiling at his child-like expression.

"Did you plan this?" He wondered, looking at me and taking his fork.

"Of course." I answered, looking proud of myself.

"It's so sweet. Thank you."

"No problem."

Gerard and I tucked into our pancakes and took our sweet time to savor not only the red hot cakes, but also the time we had together. It was 10 o'clock by the time we finished. Only three hours left.

When we finished breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen we got changed. Gerard put on the jeans, t-shirt and Watchmen hoodie he'd laid out the day before and I put on jeans and a Green Day t-shirt as well as my favorite sock hat since it was cold outside.

Gerard walked around our room one final time, making sure he grabbed everything. His eye caught something under the mattress. I raised an eyebrow as he dove for it.

"Ohh!" He squealed as he pulled my Smashing Pumpkins diary out from under the mattress.

I screamed and jumped at him.

"No!" I shrieked.

Gerard blocked me and tried to open the diary. I jumped around him trying to snatch it away. He laughed at my pathetic efforts.

"Gerard!! Give it to me! Right now, Gerard! I want it!!" I screamed whilst laughing.

"No, baby you got to work for it!" Gerard shouted back, chuckling as well.

Having heard our yelling, my dad burst through the door. Gerard and I stopped moving. I was bent over Gerard's back, my arms frozen in space over his wide shoulders.

"This is not...what it looks like." Gerard assured Dad, having obviously interpreted the mortified look on his face.

"Just...had to...check." Dad said quietly, slowly closing the door as he exited the room.

As soon as the door clicked shut Gerard and I burst out laughing. I stood up straight then doubled over, clutching my stomach.

"Oh man, that was too funny." I wheezed, trying to regain my sanity.

Through the bleariness of my wet eyes I hadn't noticed that Gerard had already quieted down and was now on our bed reading my diary! My eyes nearly bugged out.

"Awww!!! Bridgette, this is so sweet!" He cooed, pulling me down next to him. "'Gerard and I are growing closer every day. I think he's the one. I love him more than anything in the whole universe.'"

I blushed as he read my entry out loud to me. Gerard giggled and closed the book. He tossed it onto the bed next to him and turned towards me. He grabbed the top of my shirt and pulled me into him, crashing his lips onto mine. Though I was taken by surprise, I quickly settled down and wrapped my arms around him. He grazed my sides with his fingertips, making my muscles tense up again.

My fingers entwined themselves in his thick black hair. Gerard put up a hand to cup my cheek as he smiled into his kiss. This kiss was unlike any other kiss we've ever shared. Gerard seemed hungry, anxious even a bit...lusty. I figured that much when his hand began creeping up the back of my shirt. Even though his warm skin felt amazing against mine, I had to stop him.

"I don't think you can handle that, honey." I panted, smirking.

Gerard looked disappointed as his hands recoiled and he placed them in my lap.

"Why? We may never see each other again...might as well give it a try." Gerard complained.

"It'll give us a reason to see each other again."

"Well good then. I have two reasons to come back."

"Two?"

"Yeah..."

"What would they be?"

"Sex...and love. The latter being the most important of course."

I smiled and Gerard brushed my bangs away from my face. He lightly kissed me several times, I returned each one.

Around 1:30, we got a call from Gerard's aunt, saying she was going to be at our house in about fifteen minutes. Gerard and I put his bags by the door and stood there in each others' arms. For what seemed like the millionth time, I was crying. Gerard was too this time. I knew it would finally get to him at some point.

David, Mum, and Dad bid Gerard goodbye just before his aunt arrived. She came up to the door and Mum invited her in. She was short and plump. Her gray hair was tied up in a very messy bun on top of her head. Despite her sloppy appearance she looked friendly enough. Mum invited her into the kitchen, saying that it would be best if we were left alone to say our goodbyes.

"I love you, Bridgette." Gerard whimpered, clutching me to his heaving chest.

"I love you too, Gerard." I replied, tears falling freely down my face.

I felt warm tear drops fall from Gerard's face and land in my hair. After staying put, whispering to each other as we wept, for nearly ten minutes Gerard's aunt came back into the front room and told us that it was time to go.

My grip on Gerard tightened. My dad helped carry his bags out to the little gold sedan his aunt drove.

"Come on, Gerard. If you want to get back before tomorrow morning we have to leave right now." His aunt prompted, tugging on Gerard's shoulder.

"What a b*tch." I thought.

The front door was wide open and Gerard and I still clung to each other as if for dear life. We managed to step onto the porch. It was a long drag to the street where their car was parked. Gerard's aunt got extremely impatient with us and suddenly yanked Gerard out of my arms and started pulling him through the front lawn.

"No!" I screamed, running after them.

I grasped Gerard's outstretched hand and followed behind them.

"You've had enough time to say goodbye, we have to leave now!" Gerard's aunt yelled at us.

She let go of Gerard and went around the car to the driver's seat. She got inside and started the engine while Gerard stood with me on the sidewalk. He took his hands in mine one last time.

"Here." He mumbled quietly.

He removed his hands and unzipped his Watchmen hoodie and handed it to me. I pushed it back at him, confused.

"Take it, Bri." He assured me, giving it back.

"No, it's your favorite." I protested.

"You're worth it."

Those three words sent fresh tears to my eyes. I clutched his hoodie to my chest as he went to the trunk of the car, opened it, unzipped his suitcase, and pulled out his Green Day hoodie. He came back and stood in front of me. I pulled my sock hat off and gave it to him.

"Don't forget me." I whispered.

"How could I?" He replied, smiling faintly.

My eyes closed and our lips met in our final kiss goodbye. It was cut short by Gerard's aunt angrily honking the horn.

"Goodbye, Bridgette." Gerard sniffed.

"Goodbye, Gerard."

He let go of me and got into the car with my hat. I still clung on to his hoodie as his aunt sped off down the street. I stayed outside in the cold until I couldn't hear the old sedan's motor any longer.

He was gone. The love of my life...was gone.