Creation

No matter how hard I pray, my mind has a different idea of what I will see in there and my eyes don’t disappoint it as I see that picture of me behind the open door. He must have heard me calling for Leana, and came here to see what was happening. He finds me looking attentively at him, and he stares his pupils on my standing figure. His eyes are mine, his nose is mine, his lips are mine, his ears are mine, his hair is mine… He is tall as I am, he is thin as I am, he is pale as I am. His hands rest on the side of his body, exactly as I have mine. His facial expression shows astonishment the way mine does. His shoulders are slightly shrugged exactly as mine. It’s unbelievable, too weird to be true. It’s like I’m seeing myself in a mirror, but now there’s no shining surface, and my reflection is made of flesh and bones and emotions… I look at him without stopping, for my mind to realize that he is real, that he’s there in front of me, that he must be pushed into some mirror as this father asked.

I am familiar with the fact that there was someone like me that I should find, but now that I found him, it takes me a lot of time to interiorize that image. My image. My clone. He is me. At least, he looks like me. I wonder if he knows who he is, if he understands why there’s someone like him in front of him now. What if he is totally confused and he does something crazy? He can kill me, I’m harmless now… If he did, I wonder if he would go to my house and if Leana would take him as me. There are no differences in the way we look, would she accept him as me? Does he feel and think as I do? I can’t take this image out of my head: he killing me and snuggling a little after in my wife’s arms. Leana… what if she missed me?

I look at my clone once again, deep inmy his blue eyes, and I see nothing but confusion. Maybe emptiness. Maybe love. Leana’s image in someone else’s arms assaults me again, and I feel that my knees become weak. He’s no in front of me anymore as my vision blurs and my eyes close to avoid it. my mind shows me erratic images of Leana, so many moments that I lived with her are haunting me as if I am about to die and all our life passes quickly in front of my eyes. I see her smiling me with her initial shyness; I see her looking surprised whenever I offered her a white or red rose; I see her eyes open wide with happiness when I surprised her at her house; I see her rejoice and whisper a ‘yes’ when I proposed her during that night picnic at the beach; I see her smiling at me at every single moment of true love and happiness between us; I see her sad, confused, disappointed or angry whenever we had a fight; I see her brilliant eyes as she tells me that she’s four weeks pregnant; I see her snuggling into my embrace every night we slept together; I see her beautiful and soft face when I stayed awake for hours just staring at the harmony of her features; I see her kissing me while we both hear our baby’s first cry.

Everything I lived with Leana, as we gave all our love to this relationship that we both wanted, comes to my mind and eyes, and my heart seems to stop beating at those glimpses form the past. There’s a wet feeling in my eyes as my knees start to fail their own balance. I feel like I’m falling to the ground, but a pair of arms hold me tight and help me to stand straight. I look up and I see my worried face in someone else’s body. Those blue eyes ofmy his on those features that look like a mirror to me. I stare them, and they look back at me. I read mostly confusion and nothing else, as I hear my own now quiet voice coming from his lips:

“Who are you?”

I can’t speak and I don’t know why I’m feeling kinda weak, probably from tiredness and hunger. I’ve been here God knows for how long and I haven’t sleep at all – except for that time that I fainted, but I’m not sure if it counts as taking a rest. I’ve been thinking about Leana, this place and this clone all this time and I didn’t even noticed I was hungry. Well, I’m not hungry, and I don’t know why. Actually, I don’t care either.

“I’m J-Jimmy” I finally say as I lean on his supportive arm that is around my body, walking with him back into the room where he was. As we walk in, I start to remember things. The book that is still on my hand has some specific instructions that I must follow. That’s why I’m here – to help this clone and make him meet the one to whom he is connected through a spell. I look around to see that the only window in here lets us see the upcoming sunset perfectly… the sunset! I remember that I must push this clone into the mirror at the exact moment when the Earth surface seems to touch the middle part of the Sun. I remember I must do it and get out of here, because maybe I feel weak from all the memories I’ve been having… Leana… from all the perturbing images that I see in my mind which make me weak for all the time I’ve been away from her, Leana… I remember that I must do it to come back and finally be with her again… My heart aches every time I think of her; it hurts me because I miss her and because I want to go back to her and to our son, hold them and live with them a happy life. I look outside through the window as the clone sits me on the bed and sits next to me, and I see that the sunset is close – I must act now!