Two Cent Hearts

After another one of our shows I can't help feeling that emptiness inside of my heart again.
How am I supposed to keep on living like everything was normal if every time I see you I feel my heart breaking into a million pieces?

In the dressing rooms you didn't look at me, not even a moment, you changed your clothes as fast as you could, just to meet up with that whore you call girlfriend.
I sighed trying to think on something else, trying to avoid the thought of you loving somebody else.
Isn't a bit ironic?
You give me all the possible attention in the world when we're on stage playing our songs.
When we're on stage together, it seemed like nothing besides us mattered.
You touch me, you hug me, you kiss me...
But it's all an act. All a fucking act you give to the anxious fans.
After we're done with the show, you change to a different person.
A person that doesn't need me to exist, not like I need you.

I bet you have no idea how much time I've kept this secret to myself my dear Gerard.
You have no idea that since the first day we met, the day I agreed to be a part of this band, I started loving you.

How many night I've dream of you? How many I've cried for you?
How many times I've moaned your name in the middle of the night touching myself 'till I reached the climax?

I changed my clothes as well, taking my time, slowly as I could. I didn't want to see you with her.
I didn't wanna see you kissing her, hugging her, whispering love words on her ear... all those things you could do with me.
If only you knew...

A few steps took me closer and closer to our tour bus.
The rest of the band was already there, resting for tomorrow.
You, instead, were outside... with her.

I tried to hide my disgusted look replacing it with a big fake smile. It seemed to work, since Eliza smiled back at me asking if I was tired. She seemed a bit awkward for my presence there.
As politely as I could I answered her back not looking at you. I didn't want to cry all night again...

"Sure you're okay, Frankie?" You asked, and it's your soft voice that ripped me up inside and I felt tears threatening to come out.

"Yeah, I'm alright." I lied. Why Gerard? Why you do this to me?

I said goodbye to you and the whore and I entered to the bus.
Mikey was the only one still awake. He was watching TV, but after he heard me walking inside his attention was all over me.

"You're okay?" Was the only thing that he said, and he only asked to be polite. Mikey can actually read my looks, and he already knew what was wrong with me. He always knows.

"Yeah." I whispered back.

I walked to my bunk not wanting to hear any other question from Mikey. Not wanting to hear any other thing from anyone.
And definitely not wanting to answer anything.

I laid there for hours...
I heard when Mikey turned off the TV and climbed to his bunk. I heard Ray snoring and Bob talking in his dreams. Pronouncing words I couldn't and didn't try to understand.
Hours trying to get some sleep, but dreams weren't capable to reach me.

I don't know how much time I spent there, just hearing things surrounding me on the bus, 'till I hear you walking to your bunk.
I was about talk, I was about to say something, I don't know why. I just wanted to hear your voice once again, now, that you weren't with her.
I was about to say something, when I heard a female giggle and you hushing the owner of the noise, right next to my bunk.
You weren't alone.

Laughs and giggles from the whore and you turned into moans and groans escaping from your throat and her mouth.
I wanted to die right there, why the fuck did your bunk has to be on top of mine?

Thanks god tomorrow we're staying at a hotel after the show.
If the bitch stays with you again, at least I won't be able to hear her moaning your name.