Exit 57

Nikki remained on the floor, staring at Kevin. A dream? It had seemed so real. It had felt real. She could still feel his hand in hers, and his arms around her waist. Did she really feel that way? Did she really love him?

No.

It was a dream, right? That's all. It was just a dream. Dreams don't determine your feelings, they're just… dreams.

Right?

Right, Nikki told herself. I mean, Kevin had just told her his feelings a mere seven hours ago. She wasn't in love with him. She thought back to last night, laying in her bed. She remembered thinking about how he probably wasn't in love with her; it was probably a crush. It was nothing to worry about, she thought to herself. It'll all blow over, and everything will return to normal.

Nikki noticed she had still been staring at Kevin this whole time, and he had been staring at her. She looked up to meet his eyes. In return, she received a cold stare.

Kevin continued to look at her like that, making sure she saw how mad he was. After a couple seconds of awkward staring, he turned around and walked off, leaving Nikki still squatting there. As he stepped down the steps of the bus to go outside, his shoes made loud noises on the hard steps.

As he stepped down off the bus, he felt the cool air hit his skin. They were in Florida, but it was just the very, very beginning of spring, and since it was morning, it was a bit chilly. What was he supposed to do out here? He had gotten off the bus to get away from Nikki, but he hadn't thought about it very well. He should have gone to his bunk, or gone someplace where he had something to do. Now, he could either wait outside the bus until his family was ready to leave for the radio station, or go back inside and look like an idiot for walking outside for such a short amount of time. He chose to wait outside.

He saw a bench not far away and decided to sit. He chose a spot carefully, making sure to avoid any bird droppings or gum. He had only been sitting for a short amount of time before he heard the bus door opening. He looked up to see it opening very, very slowly. He knew exactly who was opening it.

Nikki stood there, struggling with the door. God, why did it have to be so hard to open? She had never quite figured it out. Even Frankie could open the door with ease. She basically pulled hard until she had made enough room to squeeze out, or had a Jonas help her. Pulling the door usually took forever, because it wasn't exactly the way you were supposed to be opening it. She knew she was probably breaking the door, but she didn't care. She wanted to go talk to Kevin.

"Need help?"

Nikki looked up to see Nick setting down his red bull and walking over to help. She laughed a bit. "How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess." He came over and stepped in front of her a bit. "Wow, you've really got this jammed."

Nikki's face turned red. She really was breaking the door. Whoops.

Nick struggled a bit with the door, his muscles clearly showing through his shirt. He had way too many muscles for a fifteen year old. "There you go", said Nick, interrupting her train of thought.

"Thanks, Nick." She ran her fingers through his hair and fluffed it a little before he could swat her hand away. He smiled at her and walked away. He "hated" when she did that, but she knew that he really wasn't bothered by it. She loved this family, they were all so close. Even Nick, who was about four and a half years younger, and Frankie, who was about twelve and a half years younger, were like brothers to her.

As she stepped off the bus, she immediately regretted coming out in her pajamas. She wasn't even wearing shoes. As her feet slapped against the cool concrete of the parking lot, she searched for Kevin. Finding him on a bench, she jogged over.

"Hey," she said, halfway out of breath. Even though the jog was short, she had to catch her breath a little. She was never very athletic, and never wanted to be.

Kevin looked up, not knowing exactly what to say. He didn't want to talk to her right now. "You look ridiculous."

He was referring to her outfit. She looked down at her clothes. She pajamas consisted of black soffee shorts and an old Police t-shirt that was Kevin's. Her hair was a total mess.

Nikki laughed a bit, thankful that she was in an abandoned parking lot and not one with a bunch of other buses. Walking to sit down next to him, she quickly stopped when she saw the gum and bird poop infested bench. "Gross."

She stood there, not knowing what to say. He did the same, except he was sitting. This was the first awkward silence they'd ever had together. Ever. Nikki looked down at her feet, rubbing one against the other to get dirt off.

"Is there a reason you came out here?"

Nikki looked up at Kevin, who was looking at her. He quickly looked away once they made eye contact. He was being such an asshole.

"Yeah, Kev. I think we need to talk." Wow. That came out meaner than she had wanted.

He looked at her. "About what, exactly?"

He was going to make her say it? He really WAS an asshole. Now, she was getting mad.

"About what? What the hell do you think, Kevin? Does ANYTHING from last night ring a bell?"

"Oh, yeah. You mean when I finally tell you something I've been hiding from you for years and completely overreacting? You're acting like I gave you some incurable disease. Sorry for telling you the truth, Nikki."

Nikki stood there, not knowing what to say. She wasn't the kind of person to be at a loss for words. She usually was all about speaking her mind. Kevin was the only person who could shut her up, and he did it again.

She bit her lip, her eyes getting watery.

No. She was not going to cry. Why was she crying? Especially over this. They were going to get past this. They had to. Luckily, Kevin didn't see as she wiped away a tear. She quickly regained her composure, thinking of something to say. As she opened her mouth to speak, Kevin said bluntly, "Do you feel the same?"

She looked up, stupidly not realizing what he was talking about. "What?"

"Do you feel the same? About me. You never said you did or didn't. I want an answer, now. Do you feel the same way about me?"

She froze, her arms filling with goosebumps. This is what she had been afraid of- Kevin putting her on the spot.

"Kevin, that's not fair."

"It's a simple question, Nikki. Do you, or don't you?"

"Kevin, I don't know! You can't put me on the spot like this. It's not fair!"

"Do you, or don't you?" He repeated, getting annoyed. All she had to do was say yes. Say yes, please, say yes.

"I… I think that you're my best friend. And we're good as friends. Maybe if we could talk about this-…"

Before she could finish, Kevin got up from the bench and started to walk away.

"Kevin, NO! You are not going to walk away from me again. Get back here so we can talk about this!"

"Nikki- it's a yes or no question. Answer it."

"Kevin, I think we sh-…"

"I think it's best for the both of us if you went home to Jersey." Kevin turned around and walked away.

This time, she couldn't stop her eyes from filling with tears- fast. He left her standing there, tears pouring down her face. She didn't know what to do. All of the other times she'd cried, Kevin had been there to comfort her. Now, he was the reason she was crying. Go back home? This was her home- on tour with them.

As Kevin walked up the steps of the bus, he regretted saying what he did. He had been such a jerk to Nikki in the past couple of hours. He walked past his family eating breakfast, ignoring their questions. He climbed into his bunk, his eyes burning. As soon as he got in and closed the curtain, he let his tears fall. He hadn't cried since his dog died, but then, it was Nikki who comforted him. And now, she was the reason he was crying.