Diary of a Reluctant Ruler

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“Thank you for visiting us, dear,” said Lily, enveloping me in a gentle hug.

“Thanks for inviting us,” I replied.

“Any time you feel like escaping,” she said, “Just let us know!”

Escape from treasure island!

Treasure island?!

I can’t remember the actual escape-from-blank-island’s name…

“I will,” I laughed.

Felix hugged Lily, then fumbled a manly handshake with Jeff, before following us into James’ car.

“Don’t forget to ring, James!” Lily called, waving.

“Yes, mum!”

The car journey seemed to take longer than before and Felix fell asleep after half-an-hours-worth of pestering about whether we were there yet. James drove smoothly, keeping his eyes on the road, quiet. After a while I wondered whether I should talk, but then wondered…

“Can you talk and drive at the same time?” I asked after a while.

“Not really,” James chuckled, “But you could talk, and I’ll listen.”

“That doesn’t sound particularly fair,” I mumbled, “You’ll have to set me off.”

“Ok…” James said, thinking for a moment, “Tell me about the future.”

“The future?” I frowned, “Well, at 21, if my father feels able, he will hand over the crown to me. I’ll be queen, and they can retire…”

Nasty mean parents, letting me do their dirty work…

Oh shush.

I trailed off.

“I mean, apart from princess/ queen duties,” James explained.

“Oh,” I frowned again, “Um…”

I thought for a moment.

“I want my own library. My own house, with one room, full of books. Not old books like in the palace library. New, readable, actual book books. I want to see Venice, and Padua, and Rome. I want to climb mountains, swim lakes, dive coral reefs…”

Make candy floss!

*mumbles* murder you…

I found my voice begin to drift, and after a few minutes I was speaking my thoughts as they came into my head, without thinking of what I was actually saying.

“…and children. Sons, I think; I’m not sure I’d be able to handle a daughter.”

“Names?” James asked, so softly that I registered the question subconsciously.

“People would laugh at Frederick, but I kind of like it… George perhaps. Michael…”

“If it was a girl?”

“Georgiana and Michaela,” I laughed, then started again; “I wouldn’t force them into lessons quite as avidly as Grandmother…”

The road ahead became blurred after so much talking, and I let my head lean against the back of the car seat, which felt almost too comfortable. I felt my eyelids droop and decided it wouldn’t matter if I let them close for a while.

I woke up just as we were hitting the gravel of the palace drive.

Felix was still asleep, so my Earl Charming carried him in and straight upstairs; it was late enough. Half asleep myself, I leaned against the door frame to watch him pull a blanket over my brother. I don’t think I’d ever felt more attracted to him than now, seeing him act like a father. I quietly imagined him doing the same for our own child…Which was when I suddenly realised that I was thinking about having children with James!

Just vaguely weird…

James caught me watching him as he turned around.

“What’s up?” he asked, as he closed the door.

“Nothing,” I smiled, pressing my lips to his cheek.

“A ‘nothing-in-your-head’ nothing, or a ‘nothing-you-can-share’ nothing?” he asked.

“That would be telling,” I replied.

Tentatively, I wove my fingers through his.

“Shall we go say hello to the family?” I asked.

“Ok,” James replied.

Muffled talking radiated from the downstairs sitting room off mum and dad’s suite, so we aimed for there. I knocked on the door with my free hand, and went in as Mum called. She, Dad, Grandmother, Erica, and three other vaguely-familiar faces were gathered around their coffee table, talking over a nightcap.

“Hi honey,” she said, as we entered, “How was Aramathia?”

“Gorgeous,” I replied.

I noticed Grandmother staring rather pointedly at the space between me and James. I looked down and saw ours hands still together. Burning bright red, I let go as fast as possible, although James’ more gentle release prevented me from reaching safe distance before my father looked up.

“Has your father got that jetty sorted out yet, James?” asked Dad, breaking the awkward silence.

“Almost,” James replied casually, “Just a few more posts.”

“Hopefully he’ll catch the winter fishing,” one of the familiar faces remarked.

“That would be hopeful,” Dad replied.

“You look tired, Meredith,” remarked Grandmother, then added drily; “James, you’d better make sure she gets to her room safely.”

“Yes Madame,” he answered, unsure whether it had been sarcastic.

Grandmother only smiled slightly and poured some more coffee.

“Goodnight,” I whispered.

“Goodnight dear,” Grandmother replied.

The others were already re-immersed in their coffee and slow talk.

James took my hand again and led me out, sleepy, I allowed him to lead me upstairs, back to my room.

“What’s the time?” I mumbled.

“It’s only seven o’clock,” James replied, “But you should sleep.”

“Hmmm.”

I filched some new pyjamas out of the cupboard and sleepily changed and brushed my teeth. James was still next door, sitting in the armchair, when I came back in.

“Can I stay?” he asked, after a moment.

I looked up, surprised.

“Um…”

“I’ll just sit here, I won’t be noisy,” he replied.

“Ok,” I replied, “But I, er…”

I paused, embarrassed.

“What?” James asked.

“I don’t know if I snore, and I have to leave the bathroom light on, with the door open. Otherwise I get lost when I sleep-walk, and then have nightmares. Er… I talk in my sleep too.”

“That’s fine with me,” James replied, smiling softly.

“But what if I say something weird?” I cried.

“Well, you’re not having an affair with another man are you?” James asked, smirking.

“No!” I glared.

“Well then you’re hardly going to be saying another man’s name,” he replied.

“Oh, ok,” I nodded, slipping into bed, then; “But what if I say yours?!”

James just smirked.

“Phil, it’s hardly a secret that you like me.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled.

James grinned, and picked a book that was resting on my bureau.

“Goodnight,” I whispered.

“Night,” he replied.

I turned over so I wasn’t looking at James; reason told me I’d just stare at him rather than sleep. And without another word I drifted off into sleep. Dreams filled my heads with vivid pictures, quite a few of them riddled with James, who, previously so elusive, was now fully present and mine.

I smiled in my sleep.