Diary of a Reluctant Ruler

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
James met me warily on Monday morning, opening the car door for me like a true gentleman. Undeserving, I twitched nervously at my seatbelt throughout the journey. Conversation was stilted at first, then began to flow with familiar ease.

“Sorry,” I said, when we got to my college.

“Phil, you don’t have to apologize-”

“But I want to,” I cut in, “I feel guilty, and I’m sorry…”

I felt myself pouting in shame.

Helicopter landing pad.

Eh?

You could land a helicopter on there.

Right…

“Well, I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was interested in Vi. I’m really not, she’s just a friend. I know she seemed to think… You’re the one I’m dating Rose,” he commented, “Not her.”

James smiled, leant in, and kissed me softly on the lips. It wasn’t his usual passionate manner, but it was comforting, and I felt a little better walking into school. At least I knew I wasn’t competing with Violet. Dating him or not, she still felt like a threat… but I trusted James. I did, I trusted him.

Yeah… denial ain’t so pretty hunny.

I’m not denying anything!

Wednesday night I wrote a quick update email to Olly, who was back in Paris and apparently stuck between two equally awesome guys. I sat in a daze in front of the family computer for a while, wondering whether to surrender the keyboard and turn in early. I refreshed the page as I thought, and a reply from Olly forced me to stay up five more minutes.

Hey Phil,
Nice to hear from ya! Hey, if James is being mean, just yell and I’ll come beat him up for you. The idiot obviously has no idea how lucky he is to be with you.
Thanks for asking, but I still can’t decide what to do! Theo is amazingly sweet you know, and makes me go fuzzy, but Pierre kinda makes me melt you know? It’s hard to get over that melting feeling. Plus, Pierre has made a move and Theo’s still too shy to look at me for more than a second.
No way! Seth Green has to be far better in Buffy than…

I sighed as I finished reading. I wanted my Olly. Wanted her to tell me that everything was going to be alright, and that this was just me and James moving out of the lovey-dovey phase and into the more serious bit…

Or was it us breaking up?

NOOO!!! Don’t think that!! BAD thought, bad thought, bad thought!!

Ok, breath.

“Hey,” James breathed in my ear.

I jumped out of my seat, banging my knees of the desk and successfully deleting my reply all in one stroke.

“Ouch,” I moaned.

“Oops,” James sighed.

“I wouldn’t advise sneaking up on me,” I said.

“Never seems to stop you,” he replied.

“Oo, well sorry, but I normally do a risk assessment before jumping you,” my voice sounded more sarcastic than I’d wanted.

“Okay, sorry,” James said, frowning as he sat.

“That came out more sarcastic than I wanted it,” I mumbled.

“Sure.”

That ‘sure’ didn’t sound so sure…

Nice observation Sherlock.

“Sorry,” I sighed, “I’m being a bit of a jerk.”

James just twisted his mouth in a half-smile-half-agreeing manner.

“Look,” he said after a moment, “Maybe this isn’t the best time, but… well, do you fancy a camping trip this coming weekend?”

My eyebrows went into orbit around my head.

Camping?! Me?!!

I don’t think this boy knows who we are.

I coughed for a moment, “Camping?”

“Yeah, you know, in a tent, under the sky, at night, in a field…”

“Have you, er, have you even considered what my mother might say to this, let alone my father, let alone my grandmother?!” I breathed disbelieving.

“Well, it did cross my mind-”

“Let alone the press?!” I continued, “If they got even the slightest idea, that I was in a field alone somewhere with you, well, let’s just say the field wouldn’t be empty for long…”

“Ok!” James cried, “Not a good idea. Don’t bite my head off.”

I stopped, aware that I’d just ranted for almost a minute solid on the merits of Christian marital values. Not that best subject matter to discuss with your boyfriend.

“Sorry,” I said, for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“Don’t sweat yourself,” James said.

Gar! He thinks I’m an immature baby… *sob*

Okay, calm down fella!

I’m not a fella!

Fine, calm down girlie!

I’m not a girlie! I’m a princess.

FINE! Calm down princess!

*sob*

“I’m going to bed,” James sighed, getting up to leave.

“Goodnight kiss?” I pouted, “Not sure I deserve one, but…”

Despite himself, James smiled wryly. He kissed me swiftly on the cheek before leaving. I grabbed my eyebrows back down from orbit around my head, stuck them back on, a little wonkily above my eyes, and began to type a second reply to Olly.