Autumns Falling.

FOUR MONTHS LATER**

I woke up the next morning and Saw blood in the bed. The world went into Slow Motion for a while. Everything was so much more dramatic then it should have been, As i rushed down stairs and out the front door. I stood in the middle of the road until my feet hurt. Finally Scott drove down the road and stopped right infront of me. He got out of the car, and as he stood infront of me he stared down at my feet. I looked down and realized there were blood red drops all over my feet and the road. There were long blood red streaks going down my legs too. I looked up to the sky and closed my eyes. I imagined i was ontop of a cliff, And i fell backwards.

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When i wake up im being rushed into the ER. Turns out they forgot to give me Knock Out Medicine. i look around franticly until a nurse sees me. They stop in the middle of the hall and a doctor(Im guessing the most important one) Says we dont have time for this. She'll just have to operate while im awake. I start to cry as i wonder whats going on. I try to speak but i feel as if i've lost my voice. When we get into the Operating room a nurse tells me I had Two babies inside me. But when they're done ill only have One. I was stressed. Far too stressed for the babies to Handle it. Why this only affected One in a fatal way, the doctors dont know. The nurse reasured me that my little girl would be fine. It was only the boy that was sick. He was only 5 and a half months old. Itd be a miracle if he even took his first breath. He was sick to begin with. I didnt know how sick. All i knew at that moment was that i was Mad. Real Mad. I was Mad at the nurse for saying It Was ONLY the boy that was Sick. i mean i was happy it wasnt both of my babies.. but ONLY?! ONLY my little boy?! I mean i didnt know he was there.. but i still would love him just as much as my little girl. I WANT my baby... I WANT MY BABY! I quickly found my voice and Screamed. I screamed as loud as i could. I scream "I WANT MY BABY!" The nurse was stunned. She stared for a minute then she squeezed my hand. "It'll be ohkay." she told me, "You'll still have one left. Be happy god didnt take away both of your little Blessings like he did to me." I looked at her and shook my head. "Dont start on me with that stuff about God. I couldnt care less. And Personally.. I REALLY DON'T care that he took YOUR babies. I mean im sorry and all.. But they WEREN'T Mine. And i guess maybe you just werent meant to be a mom. Ohkay?! So Just GO AWAY! I just want my babies..." I yelled at her. The Nurse got up and walked over to the surgeon who was busy stiching up my stomach. The nurse whispered something in the surgeons ear. The surgeon nodded, and the nurse walked out the door.
Sure i felt bad for being so mean.. but i just want BOTH of my babies.. i want BOTH of them to stay in my tummy till its time for them to come out. They belong in there for now. They need to grow... Their supposed to be Mine.. Their supposed to be alive... Not dead.

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"The doctor said you can come home tomorrow." My mom said.
I smiled a weak smile and nodded. She grabbed my hand and told me it'd be ohkay, and that i should be grateful that i still have one left. i just turned my head and looked out the window. I heard a *Buzz Buzz* and she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen.
"Im sorry honey but ive got to answer this.. itll be ohkay. You'll be ohkay.. i promise." She smiled at me then walked out the door.
How could she promise me that?! How could she predict the future like that and expect to be right?! What if she was wrong?! Huh?! What if it wasnt alright and EVERYTHING went wrong! What if i lost my little girl....
I closed my eyes as tears rolled down my face. I couldn't think of that.. i just couldn't. Because that CAN'T happen to me. This so called 'God' Cant do that to me.. Its not right. I love my baby... and NOBODY can take her away from me. Not this one anyways.

I braced myself for the fall. Because i know... A breakdown is already In progress and as it continues.. ill fall farther and farther into the dark hole staring right into my face.