Gerard Way: The Ultimate Teenie
ZOMFB
Dear Diary,
OH. MY. GOD.
Billie Joe Armstrong - god - he... I can't think coherently right now. But I have to write this down. Seriously. This was THE greatest night of my life.
Okay, so I was just sitting around arguing with Frank about comic books (he thinks Batman has a pedo-crush on Robin... which he soooooo does not) and suddenly oh my god, there's Billie Joe Fucking Armstrong right there in front of me!
Okay so we're on tour together so that shouldn't be too amazing but I swear he was looking right at me!
"Hey," he said. He sounded so hot... And he put his arm around me and Frank and he had these beads of sweat on his forehead from playing that amazing show, and his hair was all sticking to his forehead, and his eyes were all extra glowy and damn he was hot. Anyways, he said, "Hey guys, how'd ya like the show?" And he had this smirk on his face and gah...
"It was great!" said Frank brightly. Cuz Frank can actually talk to him without melting... to Frank, Billie is his idol. He always said he wanted to be Billie when he grows up. Personally, I'd rather be Adrienne.
"Cool... how about you, Gee?" He squeezed my arm a little and I think I died for a second. I'm not good at talking to Billie.
Me: "I, uh... yeah, it was great."
Frank: "So how're you, Billie?" Good save!
Billie: "I'm doing good. Just checking up on ya. Can't have you guys not feeling the love."
Me: "I feel loved." Why do I turn to mush around him? Well besides his complete perfection and awesomeness...
Billie: "Good, I think my work is done." And he laughed. I love his laugh.
Me: "Uh... I guess..." Yes, I am pathetic.
Billie: "Aww...then I guess I'll have to leave then, huh?"
Me: "You don't really have to... you could stay here..." I was nervous but far be it from me to let this gorgeous hunk of rock star go away so easy.
Anyways, Frank went away after a minute, and it was just me and Billie, and Billie said he didn't feel tall anymore (everyone feels tall around Frankie) so I sat down in a chair and he was happy. I made him happy! Yay!
Okay so then he took his shirt off! God, he is so hot without his shirt. It's, like, godly. I had to stop myself from staring at him for a minute there. And he said something about it being hot and he should go shirtless more often and DAMN.
And then he asked me for a cigarette. Billie is sexy when he smokes. He was extra sexy today. He just stood there smoking and being sexy for a few minutes, and then get this... he sat on my lap! Mmmhm, his godly ass was right there in my lap, and he was still smoking that cigarette and he was SO flirting with me.
Billie: "Does this bother ya?"
Me: NO!!!!! "N-no, not at all." Yeah, I stuttered. But have you ever had Billie Joe Armstrong, shirtless, sweaty, and sitting in your lap smoking a cigarette? I thought not.
And then - you're gonna love this - he said he liked it there. In my lap. GAH.
Okay and so we talked for a while (Because YES, I can actually carry on a conversation with God, thankyouverymuch. Let's see you do it!) And we talked about comic books, and he said Mike made him dress up like Wonderwoman before. Is it wrong that I was really turned on by that thought? Anyways, he said he wanted to learn to draw and I said I could teach him. Yes, I made that move. Thank you, thank you!
Billie: "Cool, thanks. You'd get frustrated though. I really bite." Isn't he cute when he's modest?
Me: "I don't think there'll be a problem. It's not that hard."
Billie: "Well that's easy for Mr. Artist to say that, huh?" And he ran his finger down my chest... I swear, it made my heart stop beating. "I bet you're pretty damn talented..." When I couldn't make a coherent response, he leaned closer. "What was that, Gee?" He took a drag off of his cigarette, some of that beautiful smoke blowing into my face as he exhaled.
Me: "Nothing..."
Okay, so now here's where I lose it. Billie lifted my chin up with two fingers and said "You sure?" The eyes. They are just gorgeous.
Me: "I... maybe..." I had forgotten what we were talking about! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Billie: He smirked. He's so damn seductive... "You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"
GAH!! He knows he turns me to mush. He knows I had the greatest night of my life. He knows that I will dream about it forever and ever and ever and ever... He knows everything.
Me: "Uh... sorry." Well what else could I have said? I really didn't know what we were talking about.
Billie: "Aww, is Mr. Artist getting lost in my pretty green eyes?"
Yes, he was... he so was... you have gorgeous eyes...
Me: "Um, n-no... I'm, uh... sorry." I looked away then. I was SO embarrassed!
Billie: "Don't be... everybody does." He also knows he's sexy. Oh, fuck, does he know it.
He looked at me for a minute and then - you ready? - he KISSED me. ME! Billie Joe Armstrong! Gah! I was so speechless I couldn't even move for a moment... and then... he kissed me again. And I actually kissed him back that time!!! And there was tongue. Fuck, did he taste good. Like, I don't even know what like. Just like all the good things in the world rolled up into one giant dose of awesomeness! I know my heart skipped a few beats then... I mean, hello, I was making out with Billie Joe Fucking Armstrong. Who was sitting on my lap. Shirtless. Sweaty. Smoking. And GAH.
But it still gets better!
I reached up to touch his hair - how could I not? - and he grabbed my wrists and pinned them down to the arms of the chair. He was restraining me. How hot is that?
He pulled away a little and smirked at me. "Getting a little eager, aren't ya, Gee?"
Me: "I.. uh..."
Billie got up then. I already missed him. I was kind of frozen to the spot watching him walk away then... to his dressing room. Outside the door, he turned back to me and winked, nodding to the door and walking in.
YES. That was an invitation, my friend! Who is awesome? Why, I am. Oh, yes.
I hardly remember following him. I was sort of in a daze. I do remember hearing Mike and Tre laughing in the distance, but who cares? It's Billie...
When I got into the room, I was pinned against the wall. "You know, I'm pretty damn talented too, Mr. Artist..."
Everything beyond that is sort of a blur. I do remember a few things though. For instance... Billie is BIG. I felt so inadequate next to him. But DAMN, I didn't care.
I also remember screaming. Really really loud. I couldn't help it. I can dimly remember him laughing at me and telling me I came too soon. And I remember afterwards, how he just got up and dressed as if it was all nothing and just left the room, still laughing.
All I can still think is ZOMFB, I was just fucked by God!!!!!!!!
And Frank said I never had a chance with him...
Frank!!! I forgot to tell him! Oh he is so gonna freak. Talk to ya later, diary. I gotta go brag!
XOXOXOXO
<3
*(`'•.¸(`'•.¸*¤*¸.•'´)¸.•'´)*
.'.'.'.'GERARD WAY.'.'.'
*(¸.•'´(¸.•'´*¤*`'•.¸)`'•.¸)*
____________________________
Dear Diary,
Won $20 from Mike today, and it was so damn funny! That Gerard kid is such a fuckin trip...
-BJ
OH. MY. GOD.
Billie Joe Armstrong - god - he... I can't think coherently right now. But I have to write this down. Seriously. This was THE greatest night of my life.
Okay, so I was just sitting around arguing with Frank about comic books (he thinks Batman has a pedo-crush on Robin... which he soooooo does not) and suddenly oh my god, there's Billie Joe Fucking Armstrong right there in front of me!
Okay so we're on tour together so that shouldn't be too amazing but I swear he was looking right at me!
"Hey," he said. He sounded so hot... And he put his arm around me and Frank and he had these beads of sweat on his forehead from playing that amazing show, and his hair was all sticking to his forehead, and his eyes were all extra glowy and damn he was hot. Anyways, he said, "Hey guys, how'd ya like the show?" And he had this smirk on his face and gah...
"It was great!" said Frank brightly. Cuz Frank can actually talk to him without melting... to Frank, Billie is his idol. He always said he wanted to be Billie when he grows up. Personally, I'd rather be Adrienne.
"Cool... how about you, Gee?" He squeezed my arm a little and I think I died for a second. I'm not good at talking to Billie.
Me: "I, uh... yeah, it was great."
Frank: "So how're you, Billie?" Good save!
Billie: "I'm doing good. Just checking up on ya. Can't have you guys not feeling the love."
Me: "I feel loved." Why do I turn to mush around him? Well besides his complete perfection and awesomeness...
Billie: "Good, I think my work is done." And he laughed. I love his laugh.
Me: "Uh... I guess..." Yes, I am pathetic.
Billie: "Aww...then I guess I'll have to leave then, huh?"
Me: "You don't really have to... you could stay here..." I was nervous but far be it from me to let this gorgeous hunk of rock star go away so easy.
Anyways, Frank went away after a minute, and it was just me and Billie, and Billie said he didn't feel tall anymore (everyone feels tall around Frankie) so I sat down in a chair and he was happy. I made him happy! Yay!
Okay so then he took his shirt off! God, he is so hot without his shirt. It's, like, godly. I had to stop myself from staring at him for a minute there. And he said something about it being hot and he should go shirtless more often and DAMN.
And then he asked me for a cigarette. Billie is sexy when he smokes. He was extra sexy today. He just stood there smoking and being sexy for a few minutes, and then get this... he sat on my lap! Mmmhm, his godly ass was right there in my lap, and he was still smoking that cigarette and he was SO flirting with me.
Billie: "Does this bother ya?"
Me: NO!!!!! "N-no, not at all." Yeah, I stuttered. But have you ever had Billie Joe Armstrong, shirtless, sweaty, and sitting in your lap smoking a cigarette? I thought not.
And then - you're gonna love this - he said he liked it there. In my lap. GAH.
Okay and so we talked for a while (Because YES, I can actually carry on a conversation with God, thankyouverymuch. Let's see you do it!) And we talked about comic books, and he said Mike made him dress up like Wonderwoman before. Is it wrong that I was really turned on by that thought? Anyways, he said he wanted to learn to draw and I said I could teach him. Yes, I made that move. Thank you, thank you!
Billie: "Cool, thanks. You'd get frustrated though. I really bite." Isn't he cute when he's modest?
Me: "I don't think there'll be a problem. It's not that hard."
Billie: "Well that's easy for Mr. Artist to say that, huh?" And he ran his finger down my chest... I swear, it made my heart stop beating. "I bet you're pretty damn talented..." When I couldn't make a coherent response, he leaned closer. "What was that, Gee?" He took a drag off of his cigarette, some of that beautiful smoke blowing into my face as he exhaled.
Me: "Nothing..."
Okay, so now here's where I lose it. Billie lifted my chin up with two fingers and said "You sure?" The eyes. They are just gorgeous.
Me: "I... maybe..." I had forgotten what we were talking about! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Billie: He smirked. He's so damn seductive... "You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"
GAH!! He knows he turns me to mush. He knows I had the greatest night of my life. He knows that I will dream about it forever and ever and ever and ever... He knows everything.
Me: "Uh... sorry." Well what else could I have said? I really didn't know what we were talking about.
Billie: "Aww, is Mr. Artist getting lost in my pretty green eyes?"
Yes, he was... he so was... you have gorgeous eyes...
Me: "Um, n-no... I'm, uh... sorry." I looked away then. I was SO embarrassed!
Billie: "Don't be... everybody does." He also knows he's sexy. Oh, fuck, does he know it.
He looked at me for a minute and then - you ready? - he KISSED me. ME! Billie Joe Armstrong! Gah! I was so speechless I couldn't even move for a moment... and then... he kissed me again. And I actually kissed him back that time!!! And there was tongue. Fuck, did he taste good. Like, I don't even know what like. Just like all the good things in the world rolled up into one giant dose of awesomeness! I know my heart skipped a few beats then... I mean, hello, I was making out with Billie Joe Fucking Armstrong. Who was sitting on my lap. Shirtless. Sweaty. Smoking. And GAH.
But it still gets better!
I reached up to touch his hair - how could I not? - and he grabbed my wrists and pinned them down to the arms of the chair. He was restraining me. How hot is that?
He pulled away a little and smirked at me. "Getting a little eager, aren't ya, Gee?"
Me: "I.. uh..."
Billie got up then. I already missed him. I was kind of frozen to the spot watching him walk away then... to his dressing room. Outside the door, he turned back to me and winked, nodding to the door and walking in.
YES. That was an invitation, my friend! Who is awesome? Why, I am. Oh, yes.
I hardly remember following him. I was sort of in a daze. I do remember hearing Mike and Tre laughing in the distance, but who cares? It's Billie...
When I got into the room, I was pinned against the wall. "You know, I'm pretty damn talented too, Mr. Artist..."
Everything beyond that is sort of a blur. I do remember a few things though. For instance... Billie is BIG. I felt so inadequate next to him. But DAMN, I didn't care.
I also remember screaming. Really really loud. I couldn't help it. I can dimly remember him laughing at me and telling me I came too soon. And I remember afterwards, how he just got up and dressed as if it was all nothing and just left the room, still laughing.
All I can still think is ZOMFB, I was just fucked by God!!!!!!!!
And Frank said I never had a chance with him...
Frank!!! I forgot to tell him! Oh he is so gonna freak. Talk to ya later, diary. I gotta go brag!
XOXOXOXO
<3
*(`'•.¸(`'•.¸*¤*¸.•'´)¸.•'´)*
.'.'.'.'GERARD WAY.'.'.'
*(¸.•'´(¸.•'´*¤*`'•.¸)`'•.¸)*
____________________________
Dear Diary,
Won $20 from Mike today, and it was so damn funny! That Gerard kid is such a fuckin trip...
-BJ