Hey diary, its me again...

I wanted it and Ryan ruined it, and he threw Brendon out. I mean should I still go for it. I really want to feel his heat. His body heat connecting with mine. After all we were almost there and past the point of no return. But I still could take it back. In fact I would take it back. I needed my morals to stay strong. I didn’t need that bliss once. I needed it later. Not now. I dialed Brendon’s number with caution. I tried to hold back tears but I couldn’t.
“Brendon….I’m sorry but I’m not ready…..I know…. Just I need time….yeah….yeahh…..alright…..bye…”
He was ok with me changing my mind. And that scared me.