Hey diary, its me again...
Chapter 8
“Ok I get it. Your not ready but I really want to um…”
“Yeahh…?”
“Ok I kinda want to lose my virginity to you”
An awkward silence was there. What was I supposed to say? That was basically the same as saying he wants to be the father of my children and I myself was still a child. No way was that going to happen. I made a promise to myself when I was 12 to uh remain pure until I was ready for kids and well now wasn’t time.
“Ok but Brendon.. I’m not ready.”
“ I understand just you know If you ever want to-“
“Ehh ok”
After that I wasn’t really in the mood for kissing anymore. I just wanted to go home and shower. I needed to wash all those creepy feelings off. I needed to read a Bible or something to make me feel clean.
“Hey Brendon I need to go home Ryan is proboly worried sick. And don’t you have practice in like an hour?”
“Yeah I do. Let me drive you home”
I really didn’t want him to but I did anyway. We got into his car and he drove me slower then usual. When we got there he leaned over and kissed me with more force then usual. I was ok with it only because I felt so numb. Maybe this wasn’t all it was cut out to be.
“Yeahh…?”
“Ok I kinda want to lose my virginity to you”
An awkward silence was there. What was I supposed to say? That was basically the same as saying he wants to be the father of my children and I myself was still a child. No way was that going to happen. I made a promise to myself when I was 12 to uh remain pure until I was ready for kids and well now wasn’t time.
“Ok but Brendon.. I’m not ready.”
“ I understand just you know If you ever want to-“
“Ehh ok”
After that I wasn’t really in the mood for kissing anymore. I just wanted to go home and shower. I needed to wash all those creepy feelings off. I needed to read a Bible or something to make me feel clean.
“Hey Brendon I need to go home Ryan is proboly worried sick. And don’t you have practice in like an hour?”
“Yeah I do. Let me drive you home”
I really didn’t want him to but I did anyway. We got into his car and he drove me slower then usual. When we got there he leaned over and kissed me with more force then usual. I was ok with it only because I felt so numb. Maybe this wasn’t all it was cut out to be.