Make A Plan To Love Me

I was walking slowly down the street towards the local park with my ipod blaring music into my ears. I had on a light zip-up hoodie and skinny jeans with my pink chucks. My small backpack was slung over my shoulder and it held my phone, camera, sketchbook, and coloured pencils. I saw a group of teenagers that were walking on the opposite side of the road, they were all dressed in those heavy jackets with the fake fur rimmed hoods and a few had scarves on.

It was the middle of December during Winter Break, and I was sure that I was the only person walking around at night in a light jacket, let alone by myself. I wasn’t anti-social, I was actually a naturally outgoing person; and then I moved. I lived in Virginia for nine of my sixteen years and next thing I knew, I was plopped down in Pennsylvania in the middle of my junior year. I’d been there for two weeks, and I hadn’t made any friends. Who wants to let a new kid join them when they’re already a semester into school?

I found the park about three days after I moved here when I was roaming the neighborhood looking for something fun to do. It was pretty run down, but children went there anyway. I found it peaceful at night, and it was a healthy escape from the loudness of my house. My brother lived with us after we moved, I’m pretty sure that he was the actual reason that we ended up moving but no one will admit to it.

My best guess was that he got kicked out of the living in the dorms. He definitely brought his parties to the house. My parents were always working; they were away on business trips for more than half of every month. I didn’t mind my brother’s friends, they were actually really nice. My house was the only place where I could really let my inner personality shine, but sometimes the drunken partying got to be too fucking much for me.

All I wanted to do was listen to loud music and sit comfortably on my favourite bench in my favourite park. I opened the wooden gate that led to the park and stepped on the other side of it. My bench was empty, as it always was, and I walked over to it and sat down. The wind started to blow a little harder and I suddenly regretted only wearing my light jacket. I never knew if I would be cold or hot, my body kind of had a mind of it’s own.

I closed my eyes and started taking in the sound of my music when I heard a muffled noise over over it. I took my left earphone out and listened to the silence of the night, waiting for another sound to prove that I wasn’t hearing things. Nothing came, but when I was about to place my earphone back in it’s place, I heard a sound.

To make it more accurately described, I heard a scream.

The next scream didn’t wait as long to be uttered as before. The shrill sound was made again and I realized that it was coming from the yellow tunnel at the far corner of the play set. My body tensed and I thought about what I should do.

I definitely did not want to go near that tunnel. Tunnels scared me, and it was all because of my brother trapping me in one when I was younger. I was also claustrophobic as a result of that. He still says he sorry sometimes, to this day. I think the actual way that my fears came about is funny, but when the fears actually come into play it’s not funny at all.

The scream sounded again and I jumped up from my bench realizing that I had to do something. I took baby steps towards the tunnel until I was standing next to it. I was still a good ten feet away, but to me that was next to it. I knelt down in the mulch and peered into the yellow tube.

My eyes widened and I placed a hand over my mouth. There was a little girl sitting inside of the tunnel clutching something that looked disgusting and old. She was crying and rocking back and forth, I guessed that she was around 7 years old.

I gulped and spoke, “Uh, little girl?”

Her eyes turned up to me and I couldn’t help but feel sympathetic even though the site of her dirtiness sort of made me cringe. I didn’t mind getting dirty, I’d been mud sliding once or twice, but I didn’t like to stay dirty.

“Do you need help?”

She held up the dirty object that she was clutching and I realized that she was wailing about a mangled doll, “My dolly,” she sniffled, “She lost her arm!”

That was the understatement of the year; her dolly had lost more than just an arm. Her right eye was missing, she had one nostril, only half of her other arm was in existence and she had no legs. I knew that she was supposed to have white skin, but it was a filthy brown.

“I’ll help you look for her.” I was surprised by my own words, but stuck by what I had told her. I took a few steps toward the tunnel timidly and outstretched my arm to her, “Why don’t you come out and then we’ll both look for her arm together?”

She grinned, and I noticed something un-childlike about it. Her teeth were also pearly white, which contrasted a little too much with her grubby clothes. I dismissed the thoughts and wiggled my hand at her before noticing that she was not staring, or smiling, at me anymore. Something behind me had caught her attention, and I slowly turned around to see it.

A sudden flash of yellow was next to the bench that I had been sitting on not too many moments ago, but it was so fast that I thought I was going crazy. I blinked a few times and looked again, nothing was there. Nothing yellow, I did see a filthy looking piece of cloth under the bench though.

I turned around and smiled at the girl, “I think I see your doll’s arm over there, let’s go see if I’m rig-”

“Thanks Cassie,” a voice said from behind me, “I’ll buy you a new stove when we get back home.”

The child suddenly appeared only a few feet away from me in a matter of seconds; she was no longer sitting and crying in the tunnel. She grinned at the person behind me, “Thanks, I’ve wanted one for years!” Her voice was no longer whiny and child-like; she had an English accent and sounded like she was well into her twenties.

Then she was gone. I was staring at an empty space, but I could still feel a presence behind me. I started to turn around but my eyes were covered with a piece of cloth before I could get a good look at the guy.

He pulled me up from the ground and I was standing next to him. His lips were too close to my ear for comfort, and he spoke softly, “Listen, I don’t want to hurt you or do this forcefully, so can you be a good girl and just come along willingly?” I could hear the smirk in his tone

To let him know that I had no intention of “coming along willingly,” I swiftly moved one of my legs and kicked him in the shin. It didn’t appear to hurt him, but the element of surprise caused him to loosen his grip on my arms. I broke free, turned around, and blindly started punching him. It didn’t take him long to grab hold of my uncoordinated arms again. I became still, and let him think that I was giving up.

“Are you going to behave no-”

I used my right leg to kick him in the balls before he could finish his sentence. What can I say? I’d taken some self defense classes in middle school. After kicking him, my arms were released and I heard a grunt. Soon after, I felt a gust of wind. I reached out and felt nothing, he had disappeared. I took that moment to rip the tied blindfold off of my head.

I looked around, desperately trying to find him.

I felt another gust of wind blow onto my back and a low growling voice soon followed, “Over here.”

I tried to turn around towards the voice quickly but he got to me too quickly. His hand was soon holding a cloth against my mouth and nose roughly. I was becoming unsteady at a frighteningly fast rate.

“I didn’t want to do this. Just remember that.” He said, and I made myself believe that I imagined a hint of remorse in his tone.

I looked out of the underside of the blindfold and saw the end of the yellow shirt that I knew I hadn’t hallucinated earlier. It was the last thing that I saw before I slipped into unconsciousness.