When flames blossom from embers
ch. 4
When she had agreed to spend the day with him she had imagined something…more…romantic. Honestly she just hadn’t expected this.
He looped the rope through her belt and smiled, “ Ready?” He looked up at the wall before them. He stretched his muscles to prepare for the climb.
She stood there in his old tattered t shirt and old jeans with some climbing boots that he had rented scared out of her wits. She was afraid-no scratch that- she was terrified of heights. Down to the core! And he wanted her to climb this? He wanted her to willingly go five feet off the ground? Was he insane?! She smiled weakly at him, “ umm maybe I’ll just watch.”
He smiled back at her and kissed her forehead, “ Now where is that fire I love in you?” he tightened her rope to make sure she was secure.
But just then she paled and it was not because of the wall she was facing but the man in front of her. He just used the “ l word”. She hated that word. It was so stupid, so false and so fake that she grinded her teeth inside her mouth but let it go. He probably didn’t mean to say it, which she thought made it worse that he had.
“ Do you really expect me to climb this?” she asked sighing. Rock climbing was not something she had ever done before and not something she really wanted to do.
He walked to the wall and started to climb as a spotter clung to his safety rope. “ I expect the girl from last night not to afraid of anything. I expect the girl that I like to follow me up this wall and I expect she’ll like the surprise at the top.” He called over his shoulder. He had taken off his shirt and you could see every muscle tighten and gleam in the sunlight.
She stood there letting out a sigh, “ It better be a freaking awesome surprise.” She grabbed the first hole in the mountain taking a second to wonder if the rock felt pain at others climb over it, etching their fingers into its vein, it’s life. If it like the taste of their sweat raining down on it. She shook her head and thought she would never stop being an English major.
It took her a whole fifteen minutes to reach at least ten feet off the ground. Her brow was encased in sweat, her once neat bun was now a mess of curls cascading and clinging to her back. She could feel sweat on every inch of her body. She growled in her head, who the hell goes rock climbing in 102 degrees? She reached for the next holding and pulled herself up. She looked up and saw him sitting over the edge laughing at her. Laughing! The jack ass was laughing at her. Of course she had about another ten feet to go to reach the top but during that ten feet she imagined at least hundred different ways to whip that grin off his face. Ignorant dumb ass making me climb up a stupid wall in this heat she thought.
When she finally reached the top her face was red, her hair was the worst it had ever been, her hands were pancaked in dirt and sweat. And he stood there smiling at her. She got ready to make a comment about kicking his ass off the bloody freaking cliff when he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her own the mouth. Dirt, sweat and all.
She felt herself melting into his arms, every single angry thought melted away. She felt herself molding to his body her arms wrapping around her neck, every inch between them fading away and a new heat having nothing to do with the blistering sun started to rise in her. She felt him break the kiss and looked up at those emerald eyes.
“ Was that my surprise?” she giggled her arms still wrapped around him.
He shook his head and took her hand to lead her somewhere. “ So how are you feeling about heights now?” he asked swinging their arms back and forth between them like a rope.
“ Well I know now not to tell you any of my phobias cause you’re a mean old man and make me conquer them.” She snipped back a little too harsh then she intented. “ sorry… I just I have phobias for a reason and … well just consider yourself lucky that I didn’t kick your butt. I’m known for kicking skinny white boys butts.”
He brust out laughing and threw her over his shoulder, “ Woman you need to learn some manners. Where do you get off saying things like that? Kick my butt? How much older am I than you? “ He chuckled as she tried to beat him with her fist and kicking his back.
“ Put me down you big oaf. Put me down! PUT –ME- DOWN! “ She screamed, oh she hated him right now. She hated more than anything in the whole world was being picked up. And here he was laughing at it. Oh she’d make him pay. “ Manners? You need manners. You just don’t go picking up girls like this!” Put-me-down” She snapped.
“ You do when said girl threatens, and hey-watched those legs.” He chuckled. She was so cute when she was pissed off. She kept trying to pinch him and poke him but honestly he couldn’t stop laughing. “ Here’s the thing girly get this through your head—I’m not one of your x’s. I’m not one you can beat up, I’m not some silly 24 year old whose looking for a fuck. So let down your amor already. You already let down your clothes.” He chuckled and placed her on the ground.
She sat there starring up at him. Where the hell did he get off saying things like that to her? Who the hell was he to say that. How the hell did she get involved with someone like this. She couldn’t decided on being pissed off or laughing. So she settled on something she was good at- she tackled the son of a bitch.
She jumped on him and pinned him down which lasted for about a whole five seconds. He flipped her over and pinned her down. She could feel rocks biting into her skin. She tried to break free but there was no way around it, he was eight years older, eight years faster and a whole lot stronger. She glared at him, anger seething out of her eyes.
“ Damn girl he really must have done a number on you. “ he said looking at her hurt and angry honey comb eyes. He knew her xboyfriend, vaguely, but didn’t know what had happened. Why she was so angry towards guys. Heck before he got with her, he had heard a rumor that she punched a guy in the face for asking her out after she said she just got out of a relationship. He now wondered how the guys nose was doing. He took her hands and pinned them above her head as he used the other one to flick dirt from her face.
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about” She lied, she knew everyone saw through her mask every once in a while. She wasn’t that good at lying.
“ What happened? Why do you hate guys? And is it true that you punched Daniel for asking you out?” he questioned. He let her go and sat down next to her. He normally avoided girls with baggage and closure issues but this one…she had a glow about her. A smile and a light, he wanted to wrap himself up in it like Christmas morning.
She turned away from him looking at the valley below them, the rocks and sighed. “ I punched Daniel caused he got mad that I turned him down and coped a feel. And... I don’t hate guys. I just don’t want to be in love or even be thinking of it. Period.” She picked up a blade of grass and started to play with it. She shouldn’t be talking about this. The more you try to fill a whole the bigger it rips.
He took her hands into his and looked down at them, “well I believe that about Daniel. But what has you so scared of love? And no not period.” He wondered what happened. He wondered what really happened to her. This woman so full of passion, of life, whose smile seemed to brighten the very room she was in. His knuckles clenched in the thoughts of what had happened to her.
She saw his hand fist up and smiled, “ I got a heart broken, that’s it. What more needs to be said? How do you explain something like that? When you feel like you are on cloud nine, planning a life together then in an instant it’s ripped from you in the worst possible way. Being told it was …fake….that every touch, every embrace, every conversation you had wasn’t real or true. When you love the person …you can’t hate them. You can’t forget them. Or at least I can’t…I was never that strong. How do you explain the hole in your body that rips open every time you remember or try to forget? How?” she didn’t notice but her eyes started to water up. She was so use to crying she didn’t notice the tears stream down her face. “ How do you knowingly let yourself fall in love again? How can you? When you know or rather don’t know that in an instant it can be taken from you? That it can all be fake? I don’t want to look back and wonder why it was fake…I don’t want to feel.” She stammered the last part.
He looked at her, her honey comb eyes watered with tears. Tear streams washing clean paths on her dirt ridden face, lines tracing down to her neckline, to her heart. He looked at her, he really looked at her. He saw her completely, a girl who was still aching but trying to move on. A woman whose eyes were aged with wisdom beyond her years. He saw her raise her chin in defiance, she was strong. No matter what she told herself he could see the way she clenched her jaw tight to not make a sound, she was a fighter.
He took her into his arms and hugged her, he simply wanted her to feel how much he truly cared about her. Not because they had had sex, not because she was beautiful, not because she made him smile but because she was genuine. She was real. He whispered into her ear, “ Shhh… I won’t tell you it’ll be okay. I won’t tell you that time washes it away. A first love stings for life. But look at me,” he cupped her face in his hands as he starred into those brown eyes. “ there is nothing-absolutely nothing- fake about you. He was fake. Not you. What you felt was real. Savor it don’t let it leave a bitter taste in your mouth. And don’t let how it ended ruin your chances at love.” He kissed the tear lines on her face.
She sniffled, embarrassed that she was crying. She had been lying to herself for weeks telling herself she was fine, she believed if she told herself it enough times she’d believe it. She looked at the man holding her face, she felt his warm hands, she smelt his earthy smell ( he always smelt of earth no matter what ), she looked into his emerald eyes and saw sincerity. A sincerity that lacked once in golden ones. Could she believe this one? Was she ready to leap again?
She leaned against him and nuzzled against his neck. She didn’t protest when he picked her up in his arms like a child and carried her to god knows where. She didn’t mind that he stroked her hair as he carried her. She listened to his heart beat against her ear. She heard him humming and recognized the song and laughed. “ are you singing I’ll be in your heart from Tarzan?”
He smiled “ Yes, you’ll be in my heart from this day and for ever more. No matter what they say, you’ll be here in my heart, always. Why can’t they understand the way we feel? They just don’t trust what they can’t explain… we’re no that different. You’ll be in my heart.” He sang to her the whole way back to the car. “ don’t listen to them, what do they know? We need each other to have and to hold.”
She watched this man she meet less than a month ago sing to her. She listened to him and she knew that he saw her.
He looped the rope through her belt and smiled, “ Ready?” He looked up at the wall before them. He stretched his muscles to prepare for the climb.
She stood there in his old tattered t shirt and old jeans with some climbing boots that he had rented scared out of her wits. She was afraid-no scratch that- she was terrified of heights. Down to the core! And he wanted her to climb this? He wanted her to willingly go five feet off the ground? Was he insane?! She smiled weakly at him, “ umm maybe I’ll just watch.”
He smiled back at her and kissed her forehead, “ Now where is that fire I love in you?” he tightened her rope to make sure she was secure.
But just then she paled and it was not because of the wall she was facing but the man in front of her. He just used the “ l word”. She hated that word. It was so stupid, so false and so fake that she grinded her teeth inside her mouth but let it go. He probably didn’t mean to say it, which she thought made it worse that he had.
“ Do you really expect me to climb this?” she asked sighing. Rock climbing was not something she had ever done before and not something she really wanted to do.
He walked to the wall and started to climb as a spotter clung to his safety rope. “ I expect the girl from last night not to afraid of anything. I expect the girl that I like to follow me up this wall and I expect she’ll like the surprise at the top.” He called over his shoulder. He had taken off his shirt and you could see every muscle tighten and gleam in the sunlight.
She stood there letting out a sigh, “ It better be a freaking awesome surprise.” She grabbed the first hole in the mountain taking a second to wonder if the rock felt pain at others climb over it, etching their fingers into its vein, it’s life. If it like the taste of their sweat raining down on it. She shook her head and thought she would never stop being an English major.
It took her a whole fifteen minutes to reach at least ten feet off the ground. Her brow was encased in sweat, her once neat bun was now a mess of curls cascading and clinging to her back. She could feel sweat on every inch of her body. She growled in her head, who the hell goes rock climbing in 102 degrees? She reached for the next holding and pulled herself up. She looked up and saw him sitting over the edge laughing at her. Laughing! The jack ass was laughing at her. Of course she had about another ten feet to go to reach the top but during that ten feet she imagined at least hundred different ways to whip that grin off his face. Ignorant dumb ass making me climb up a stupid wall in this heat she thought.
When she finally reached the top her face was red, her hair was the worst it had ever been, her hands were pancaked in dirt and sweat. And he stood there smiling at her. She got ready to make a comment about kicking his ass off the bloody freaking cliff when he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her own the mouth. Dirt, sweat and all.
She felt herself melting into his arms, every single angry thought melted away. She felt herself molding to his body her arms wrapping around her neck, every inch between them fading away and a new heat having nothing to do with the blistering sun started to rise in her. She felt him break the kiss and looked up at those emerald eyes.
“ Was that my surprise?” she giggled her arms still wrapped around him.
He shook his head and took her hand to lead her somewhere. “ So how are you feeling about heights now?” he asked swinging their arms back and forth between them like a rope.
“ Well I know now not to tell you any of my phobias cause you’re a mean old man and make me conquer them.” She snipped back a little too harsh then she intented. “ sorry… I just I have phobias for a reason and … well just consider yourself lucky that I didn’t kick your butt. I’m known for kicking skinny white boys butts.”
He brust out laughing and threw her over his shoulder, “ Woman you need to learn some manners. Where do you get off saying things like that? Kick my butt? How much older am I than you? “ He chuckled as she tried to beat him with her fist and kicking his back.
“ Put me down you big oaf. Put me down! PUT –ME- DOWN! “ She screamed, oh she hated him right now. She hated more than anything in the whole world was being picked up. And here he was laughing at it. Oh she’d make him pay. “ Manners? You need manners. You just don’t go picking up girls like this!” Put-me-down” She snapped.
“ You do when said girl threatens, and hey-watched those legs.” He chuckled. She was so cute when she was pissed off. She kept trying to pinch him and poke him but honestly he couldn’t stop laughing. “ Here’s the thing girly get this through your head—I’m not one of your x’s. I’m not one you can beat up, I’m not some silly 24 year old whose looking for a fuck. So let down your amor already. You already let down your clothes.” He chuckled and placed her on the ground.
She sat there starring up at him. Where the hell did he get off saying things like that to her? Who the hell was he to say that. How the hell did she get involved with someone like this. She couldn’t decided on being pissed off or laughing. So she settled on something she was good at- she tackled the son of a bitch.
She jumped on him and pinned him down which lasted for about a whole five seconds. He flipped her over and pinned her down. She could feel rocks biting into her skin. She tried to break free but there was no way around it, he was eight years older, eight years faster and a whole lot stronger. She glared at him, anger seething out of her eyes.
“ Damn girl he really must have done a number on you. “ he said looking at her hurt and angry honey comb eyes. He knew her xboyfriend, vaguely, but didn’t know what had happened. Why she was so angry towards guys. Heck before he got with her, he had heard a rumor that she punched a guy in the face for asking her out after she said she just got out of a relationship. He now wondered how the guys nose was doing. He took her hands and pinned them above her head as he used the other one to flick dirt from her face.
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about” She lied, she knew everyone saw through her mask every once in a while. She wasn’t that good at lying.
“ What happened? Why do you hate guys? And is it true that you punched Daniel for asking you out?” he questioned. He let her go and sat down next to her. He normally avoided girls with baggage and closure issues but this one…she had a glow about her. A smile and a light, he wanted to wrap himself up in it like Christmas morning.
She turned away from him looking at the valley below them, the rocks and sighed. “ I punched Daniel caused he got mad that I turned him down and coped a feel. And... I don’t hate guys. I just don’t want to be in love or even be thinking of it. Period.” She picked up a blade of grass and started to play with it. She shouldn’t be talking about this. The more you try to fill a whole the bigger it rips.
He took her hands into his and looked down at them, “well I believe that about Daniel. But what has you so scared of love? And no not period.” He wondered what happened. He wondered what really happened to her. This woman so full of passion, of life, whose smile seemed to brighten the very room she was in. His knuckles clenched in the thoughts of what had happened to her.
She saw his hand fist up and smiled, “ I got a heart broken, that’s it. What more needs to be said? How do you explain something like that? When you feel like you are on cloud nine, planning a life together then in an instant it’s ripped from you in the worst possible way. Being told it was …fake….that every touch, every embrace, every conversation you had wasn’t real or true. When you love the person …you can’t hate them. You can’t forget them. Or at least I can’t…I was never that strong. How do you explain the hole in your body that rips open every time you remember or try to forget? How?” she didn’t notice but her eyes started to water up. She was so use to crying she didn’t notice the tears stream down her face. “ How do you knowingly let yourself fall in love again? How can you? When you know or rather don’t know that in an instant it can be taken from you? That it can all be fake? I don’t want to look back and wonder why it was fake…I don’t want to feel.” She stammered the last part.
He looked at her, her honey comb eyes watered with tears. Tear streams washing clean paths on her dirt ridden face, lines tracing down to her neckline, to her heart. He looked at her, he really looked at her. He saw her completely, a girl who was still aching but trying to move on. A woman whose eyes were aged with wisdom beyond her years. He saw her raise her chin in defiance, she was strong. No matter what she told herself he could see the way she clenched her jaw tight to not make a sound, she was a fighter.
He took her into his arms and hugged her, he simply wanted her to feel how much he truly cared about her. Not because they had had sex, not because she was beautiful, not because she made him smile but because she was genuine. She was real. He whispered into her ear, “ Shhh… I won’t tell you it’ll be okay. I won’t tell you that time washes it away. A first love stings for life. But look at me,” he cupped her face in his hands as he starred into those brown eyes. “ there is nothing-absolutely nothing- fake about you. He was fake. Not you. What you felt was real. Savor it don’t let it leave a bitter taste in your mouth. And don’t let how it ended ruin your chances at love.” He kissed the tear lines on her face.
She sniffled, embarrassed that she was crying. She had been lying to herself for weeks telling herself she was fine, she believed if she told herself it enough times she’d believe it. She looked at the man holding her face, she felt his warm hands, she smelt his earthy smell ( he always smelt of earth no matter what ), she looked into his emerald eyes and saw sincerity. A sincerity that lacked once in golden ones. Could she believe this one? Was she ready to leap again?
She leaned against him and nuzzled against his neck. She didn’t protest when he picked her up in his arms like a child and carried her to god knows where. She didn’t mind that he stroked her hair as he carried her. She listened to his heart beat against her ear. She heard him humming and recognized the song and laughed. “ are you singing I’ll be in your heart from Tarzan?”
He smiled “ Yes, you’ll be in my heart from this day and for ever more. No matter what they say, you’ll be here in my heart, always. Why can’t they understand the way we feel? They just don’t trust what they can’t explain… we’re no that different. You’ll be in my heart.” He sang to her the whole way back to the car. “ don’t listen to them, what do they know? We need each other to have and to hold.”
She watched this man she meet less than a month ago sing to her. She listened to him and she knew that he saw her.