Shadows of the World

A Dream Within A Dream.

This is an illusion, only an illusion, I chanted to myself in my head. Eventually it would be over, it would be broken and I would be back in the hospital where I was supposed to be. Even now, I was in the hospital. Maybe if I could just far enough, I'd escape these three people...but my legs wouldn't move. I was stuck here, there was no getting out. The warm, dark wind blew by me, whipping my hair into my face. It made my eyes sting, but I knew the stinging in my eyes wasn't coming from just the wind. I was scared, and rightfully so. The council of elders appeared then, not wearing the same clothes they had. In the hospital they'd been wearing modern clothes, and now that I thought about it, it did seem out of place. Here, they wore robes and gowns of different colors. The woman with the Lady in Blue's body wore her exact same dress.

"What do you want from me?" I called out, my voice surprisingly thing.

They laughed then and Mr. Morrison - but I doubted that really was his name - came up to me. "We would think that was obvious. We want your power. Do you know what it would be like, keeping people from death, from sickness?" he asked.

I shook my head. "But I don't even know how to use it," I replied.

"You don't," the woman with the lady's voice said, "but we do. You see, you have to consider your beloved Carson and James's sickness as a sort of...push to get you to give us your power. You give us control and they will live," she told me.

My heart clenched. It wasn't about their parents at all. It was about me. All this time, it was about me. I could have just left and then maybe they'd have followed me. But no, I had to be an idiot, think I could save them. They weren't letting me save them. They were barrelling right on through me. I felt so used, but I knew I shouldn't expect anything less from these three awful people. "You're supposed to keep the rules, not want power!" I exclaimed.

"Of course we're keeping the rules," Mr. Morrison responded. "Getting rid of those two traitors is an extra benefit. Now honestly, do you really think we could have you just traipsing around the place, that unused power in your body? You could do something dangerous with it, the word could get out about you...people would go crazy." I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. "You can plead all you like about not saying anything to anyone, but you've already told too many people."

"They're all like you!" I finally shouted. They didn't say anything to that, just stared at me. "Just...answer me one question," I said. They nodded in unison, which was strangely terrifying. "Who is the Lady in Blue?" I questioned.

The woman with the lady's body smiled a wicked smile. "We thought that would be obvious. She's just our dream messenger. She tells people what to do so we aren't exposed. There are many people who hate us, so we have to keep our identities hidding. Really, she's harmless, she can do nothing."

"So she's not really sick? She's not going to die? What Ant said...it was all untrue?" I asked. They nodded again in unison. "How could you?!" I screamed, trying to lunge for them, but still feeling like my legs wouldn't move.

They laughed then, and I felt more angry than I ever had. "It was just some scare tactics," the woman with the lady's voice told me. "Honesly, she's just an illusion. How would we make her sick? You see, that's why we had to come and get your power ourselves. She can't do anything, really. She can just tell people what we want them to do. They are intimidated and frightened by her, or maybe they're just frightened by us, but we don't mind. We're just making everything a lot safer...for us." I felt so horribly betrayed, but I knew I shouldn't have felt anything different. "So, now that your question in answered, there's really only one thing to do," the woman said.

I looked at them. "I'm not giving you anything," I answered. Through the wind and the darkness, I felt something...something sort of...sparkled inside me. Maybe it was the hospital, or maybe it was James or Carson's star, but it made me realize that they were bluffing about at least one thing. No matter what they told me, something I was doing was keeping Carson and James alive. They could make them sick, but they couldn't kill them without my help. If I continued to have the power, which I would do, they could just make them bedridden. It clicked, then. Why would they want my power so badly, now? Carson and James's deaths were a bigger part of this then I thought. I didn't feel as guilty anymore, but I did still feel guilty. "You can't kill them without me, and I'm not letting you."

"You are trying our patience. Of course we can kill them." That was Mr. Morrison's voice, and suddenly the sparkle inside me went out. I felt defeated all over again. The tears at my eyes from the stinging wind and the hopelessness that I felt leaked out.

They just watched as I cried. But it did not last long. I wiped my tears away and attempted to move again. I still couldn't. "I'll...make a deal with you." They didn't say anything, so I assumed they were interested. "I will follow all of your rules, the same way Carson and James and Ant do. I will do what you ask of me...anything you ask of me."

The three of them looked at each other then, and I knew they were considering this. The woman with the lady's body spoke first. "We will make this deal with you..." she started. "In exchange for one life. One of them will live, one of them will die."

My whole entire body went numb then. I could not choose between them. "No!" I screamed and tried to make a run for them.

"It is better than both of them dying, isn't it?" asked Mr. Morrison.

"How could I ever choose?" I yelled. "I won't do it, I'll give you nothing!" I told them all.

The woman with the lady's voice just smiled. "Then you will all die." She picked up her hand and moved it then. I saw that she was looking at something behind me, and I turned. There, in the midst of the darkness was one flood of light from a hospital room. This all was an illusion, then, it really was. But I wasn't powerful enough to break that illusion. I didn't even have the same power as Carson and James. "Go on, you can move now. Look." With that, I turned and took a step. I could move. I contemplated turning back and running for them, but what would that accomplish? Instead, I just walked into the flood of light. I was inside James and Carson's hospital room. When I entered, no one looked at me. They couldn't see me, for some reason. I watched Nana, knitting but looking worried. I saw Carson and James. They were laying on their beds, looking so sick. Their heart monitors beeped feebly in the background. They were both going to die, if I didn't do something. But how could I ever choose which one to save? I loved Carson and I needed him, but I couldn't rob James of life just because of that.

There was no wind here, but my eyes stung all the same. I should have just left when I had the chance. I should have seen this all coming. And suddenly, I realized....that meteor, that one that was about to hit me and James in the dream I had? This was it. It wasn't a meteor, it was just something big. And the place that I had to get James urgently to? That came after this. James had to go somewhere. I could not leave him behind. There was more to James than I'd ever hope to know.

I walked out of the hospital room, then, with a heavy heart. This was it, wasn't it? I had to make a choice I never thought I'd make in my entire life. But as I walked back to the council, something strange happened. It was almost like a dream within a dream. Images flashed around my head...

Stars, one twinkling the brightest. It was fading, and fading fast. Nothing left to do...what could I do? Reaching up...picking the star, holding it to me...touching the stars...touching a soul...

My mind shifted back into focus as quickly as it had gone away. My stomach churned and I clenched my teeth. How could now, of all times, I get a cryptic message? Now, when I have to choose who to let live, who to let die, my mind wanders into dreamland, where I see something so peculier...what could I do to save them both? And I knew. Nothing. I could only save one. I continued to walk slowly and deliberatly to the council, to prolong my decision. I had no idea what to do. My mind, though, kept shifting in and out of this distorted reality, into the same dream over and over again. It was like a clicking film, where things skip, things fast foward too much, but the idea is still there. I knew whatever - whomever - was giving me this dream was telling me something, and I wanted to know what.

And then, like a miracle, I understood.

I walked carefully to the council. "I have made my decision. I will make the deal with you, and I will choose one person to live." My voice was rough, but strong. I did not scream this time, just spoke loudly.

Mr. Morrison nodded. "And who have you chosen to let live?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. "James," I said.

The woman with the lady's body smiled. "You will follow all the rules we give you, you will do whatever we ask? If you do not, we will kill James too." I swallowed and nodded. Her smile turned into an evil grin. "It will be done."

"You must swear that this is what you will do, and only what you will do," I said. "You will let James live and I will follow the rules. This is our deal, right?" I asked. They all nodded in unison. And then suddenly, something happened. I could feel a strange distortion in my chest. I didn't know what they were doing, but all of a sudden, I felt one star flaring rapidly and one star fading rapidly.

"Wait!" I shouted. They stopped whatever it was they were doing. "Please...before you fade it out completley, can I see Carson's star? Just one last time..." they all looked skeptical. "Please, he is all I have," I begged.

"Very well," answered the woman with the lady's voice. Suddenly we were not in the wind anymore, we were in darkness, but all around was billions and billions of stars. The souls of humanity... To an average person, finding one specific star could not be done. And maybe to someone who had not felt Carson's star the way I had, finding star would be difficult, even if they had my power. His star was so faint, he was almost dead, but I could feel it out. I looked at the sky. When I turned my head, I could see the star, only somewhat. But I could feel it still, just a tiny speck of light, just a tiny, faint pulse within my own rapidly beating heart. This was it. I reached out to touch the star. The council looked at me strangely, but because they had not seen my dream, they did not know my power the way I was suddenly getting to know it, they had no idea what I was doing. The visions of my dream rushed by my eyes and I smiled. Just a little bit farther, just a little bit...and then, I felt it on my fingers. My hand was far away from my star, and maybe, to them, it looked like I was just reaching. But I could feel Carson's star within my fingers and I grabbed onto it, and my fingers went around the tiny, faint, ball of light.

Mr. Morrison was the first to notice. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice suddenly becoming quite scared.

I looked at him carefully, feeling Carson Knight's soul within my hand. "You must follow our deal," I said. "You are to keep James alive. I will follow your rules." My voice was like a stone, and then I cupped Carson's soul within my hands. It was so small, and looked like it could fade in a matter of minutes. I had no idea, really, what I was doing, but I just followed the dream I had. I put my hands to my own chest and felt the soul slip inside my body. It was a weird feeling. All of a sudden, I felt completley sapped of my energy, like I was going to just collapse, then and there. But I looked at the council, who were staring at me. "You saved James. I will follow your rules. Now you must go," I told them, my breathing heavy.

They had no choice. They had made a deal. I knew they still weren't sure what I was doing, but I figured they had an idea. Mr. Morrison laughed then, mirthlessly. "Carson's soul is so weak, it will sap anything you have and kill you both." My knees buckled underneath me and I knew he was right. So I smiled back at him.

"Then you should help me," I answered. "If I die, so does...whatever it is I can do." I reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling him to me. "You need me." Mr. Morrison's eyes widened and then went dark. I had no idea what he was doing, but I felt something go through me. It was a good feeling, a light feeling. I smiled back up at the council. "Well, it's been real," I told them.

The woman with the lady's voice leaned close to me as I felt myself collapsing onto the darkness...onto the floor...whatever. "You will follow every order we give you," she said. I nodded feebly, feeling all of a sudden like I had the weight of a thousand bricks on me. I smiled one last time to them before finally dropping down to the floor.

Darkness consumed my mind and I felt as light as air.