Am I More Than You Bargained for Yet?
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter 16
Have you ever felt just a tugging, sort of stinging, feeling in your chest? You just want to cry, but you hold on until your all alone so that no one can see you in pain? Your eyes are watery and have a slight sting at all times, and you have hardly any effort to do anything because you just want to give up and do nothing? Just drop to the floor because nothing feels worth it anymore? That’s what I’ve been feeling like EVERY day since I got here…and that was sixteen months ago! It’s been going by so slowly, I hate it here. And like Gerard kept up to his promises. I haven’t seen him once. At first he would call everyday, then days turned into every few days…and every few days into weeks. Than weeks into a whole month...Well it has been a month since he had called me last. He only sent me letters for the first two months, and like the phone calls, they turned into nothing.
Do you know what it feels like? Have you any idea what I’m going through? It hurts so bad, and I want it all to end. I’m doing this all for him and I’m not even getting what I want most. His love. But then again, Who would love a pebble in their shoe? I’m just a pain. He doesn’t really want me. No one does. No one ever has.
I walked into the cafeteria, smiling like usual. None of the others talked to me…they think I didn’t get it as bad as them. I heard them talking about me. They all hate me. Everyone stared. Just like in the movies, when the popular girl would enter, and everyone would stare in awe…except the way all these girls stared at me. It was hate. They absolutely despised me. I scoffed in my head. It was just like high school…or at least what I would assume high school is like because of all the movies I’ve seen. I haven’t been to high school yet…
I walked past everyone and was just about to walk to my own table, where I sat every day when I was stopped by non other than Rachel Sterling. Rachael was the kind of girl I wouldn’t hang out with. She reminded me of Stacey. She smiled flirtatiously at me.
“Heya, Alex, is it?” She asked. I nodded.
“Why don’t you sit with us?” She asked. I had a feeling that it was a bad idea to obey, but I wanted so badly to be accepted. I sat down next to her and smiled. Maybe things would go smoothly from here?
Have you ever felt just a tugging, sort of stinging, feeling in your chest? You just want to cry, but you hold on until your all alone so that no one can see you in pain? Your eyes are watery and have a slight sting at all times, and you have hardly any effort to do anything because you just want to give up and do nothing? Just drop to the floor because nothing feels worth it anymore? That’s what I’ve been feeling like EVERY day since I got here…and that was sixteen months ago! It’s been going by so slowly, I hate it here. And like Gerard kept up to his promises. I haven’t seen him once. At first he would call everyday, then days turned into every few days…and every few days into weeks. Than weeks into a whole month...Well it has been a month since he had called me last. He only sent me letters for the first two months, and like the phone calls, they turned into nothing.
Do you know what it feels like? Have you any idea what I’m going through? It hurts so bad, and I want it all to end. I’m doing this all for him and I’m not even getting what I want most. His love. But then again, Who would love a pebble in their shoe? I’m just a pain. He doesn’t really want me. No one does. No one ever has.
I walked into the cafeteria, smiling like usual. None of the others talked to me…they think I didn’t get it as bad as them. I heard them talking about me. They all hate me. Everyone stared. Just like in the movies, when the popular girl would enter, and everyone would stare in awe…except the way all these girls stared at me. It was hate. They absolutely despised me. I scoffed in my head. It was just like high school…or at least what I would assume high school is like because of all the movies I’ve seen. I haven’t been to high school yet…
I walked past everyone and was just about to walk to my own table, where I sat every day when I was stopped by non other than Rachel Sterling. Rachael was the kind of girl I wouldn’t hang out with. She reminded me of Stacey. She smiled flirtatiously at me.
“Heya, Alex, is it?” She asked. I nodded.
“Why don’t you sit with us?” She asked. I had a feeling that it was a bad idea to obey, but I wanted so badly to be accepted. I sat down next to her and smiled. Maybe things would go smoothly from here?