Beautiful Death

“Gerard?” I called cautiously, only to be greeted by silence.

Great. I’m really not in the mood for this shit.

I didn’t even get to do my line because he stomped off.

Well, because I made him storm off….

I crept up to his bunk trying to not wake the others as I did.

His curtains were closed but I could hear a faint sniffling noise so I pulled the back.

“Gerard…” I sighed, my voice full of guilt and sympathy.

“Fuck off!” he whispered harshly, keeping his back to me.

“No Gee, I’m not going anywhere until we get our problems sorted out.” I told him calmly.

“What fucking problems? I hate you and you hate me, its fine!” he snapped.

I closed my eyes, counting to ten in my head.

We’re both wasted and I know this is going to turn into and argument if I don’t stay calm.

“I don’t hate you Gerard.” I told him placing a hand on his shoulder.

He shuffled away from my touch so I took the opportunity to climb in beside him and hug him close to me.

“Fuck off Aiden! Don’t fucking touch me!” he hissed, finally turning round to face me.

I didn’t let him go so he struggled against me, but I had an advantage, the angle his arms were trapped at prevented him from moving too much so my grip remained firm.

Eventually Gerard gave up struggling and collapsed into me crying hard, and I mean hard.

His whole body was shaking and he had to gulp just to get the tiniest amount of air into his lungs.

He cried for at leased an hour, I just kept hugging him and making soothing noises in his ear, promising him everything would be alright.

When his balling had reduced to a few sniffles he tried to move away from me.

I loosened my grip but didn’t let him go completely.

“You’re right, I am pathetic.” He whispered looking at me through tear stained eyes.