Beautiful Death

I still can’t believe I’m doing this.

After everything Donna did to help me and I go and do this?

I’m such a self-centred bitch.

Donna did everything to get me clean.

Stayed up at night with me, did things with me and took me places to keep my mind off my cravings.

Practically exhausted herself trying to help me yet here I am, down a grubby abandoned ally, waiting for some smack head to come and sell me overpriced toxins that I can screw up my body with.

Way to go Aiden.

You’ve really out done yourself with this one.

The ironic thing is.

I know this is wrong. I know I don’t need drugs.

I know I can walk back home to Donna Don and my brothers and everything will be fine.

Yet I’m still here waiting to discover if the trip is worth potentially losing the only family to ever love me.

Excluding my twin brother.

Wow I haven’t thought about Massimo in….well….years…..does that make me a bad sister?

How could I forget my biological brother?

Twin brother at that.

How?

That’s it.

I know why I need these now.

They help me forget.

Forget how evil, how ungrateful, how selfish I really am. And how fucked up I’ve become.

I’m harshly ripped from my thoughts by a rough callous hand fiercely tugging at my shoulder in an attempt to turn my body to face them.

I prepare myself to be either attacked or handed my prize.

My escape from these treacherous accusing thoughts.

To my fortune, and miss-fortune, it is neither of the above.

It’s Mikey and Gerard’s friend.

“Hey Aiden….what you doing out here?” he asked with a grin on his face.

I have suspicion to believe he has a slight crush on me.

The fact he always smiles when I enter a room and blushes when ever I make a comment about him or to him and when I hug him gave it away.

That and Mikey told me he did.

“I could ask you the same question Frank.” I answered a tad too harshly.

“Oh erm I was just on my way to see Mikey, him and Gerard had the idea of setting up a band or something so they asked me to go over……so yea, why are you out here so late? It’s not safe to be-” he started.

“Wandering round the streets of jersey in the dark, I know Frank, I’m a little older then you encase you forgot, which means I’ve been round a little longer.” I cut in rolling my eyes.

If I had a nickel for every time someone has told me that I’d be rich!

“Oh yeah right,” he laughed nervously blushing.

Get what I mean about the blushing thing?

“So….allow me to escort you home my fair maiden!” Frank grinned extending an arm to me.

“Well someone’s been studying Shakespeare in English! And who said I wanted to go home yet good sir?” I answered with a smirk.

“Why the fuck would you want to stay out here?” he asked with raised eyebrows

“Peace and quite? Alone time? The list goes on.” I smiled.

“Yeah well I don’t care, you’re coming home!” he ordered

“Oooooh Frankie! You’re being demanding, it suits you!” I giggled at him making him once again blush.

“Stop trying to butter me up and move it!” he ordered.

I gave into the fact that I would have to leave with him.

There’s no way I could get a good enough excuse not to without raising unwanted questioning.

“Fine!” I sighed linking my arm through his and allowing him to lead me back onto the street.

It must have looked quite funny seeing as he’s small for his age anyway making him quite a bit smaller than me.

“So what was this about a band?” I asked.