Anywhere Is Better Than Here

After Kevin dropped Jake and I off at home (after picking up Danielle), we decided to get a little musical. We went into the basement, me picking up my drum sticks while my brother went over to the keyboard (he can play the: keyboard, drums, guitar, and bass). Danielle placed herself on the shitty couch we had in the basement, and watched us as we got set up. Our parents weren't home yet so we had some time to play as loudly as we wanted, and it would be three more hours before the guys got here. Yeah, our house is NOT sound proof.

"I Just Died in Your Arm's Tonight?" Jacob asked.

I nodded as my brother set up the microphone by his keyboard. After he was done, he started the intro of our cover of the cover I Just Died In Your Arm's Tonight by Progress in Color, "I- ...I just died in your arms tonight. Must have been something you said! I just died in your arms tonight - I should've walked away-"

And we progressed from there. Being in a band with Jake was always pretty fun. We've never really fought like most siblings. We've always got along. He was even the one to teach me how to play the drums. And I love him dearly for it. I don't even want to think about how it would be like if I lost him.

My sister, she was adorable. Jake and I were ecstatic when Mom and Dad told us we were going to have a new addition to the family. We looked after her, and were always there when she needed us. Like Jake and I, Danny and I got along pretty well. Yeah, she was sometimes annoying to the point where I wanted to throw her out the second story window, but she was four. She doesn't know what she is doing.

By the time our parents got home, it was already five o' clock. The Jonas boys were on their way from four blocks away, so they would be at my house in less than two minutes. Our parents were giving us all hugs and kisses telling us to behave and to not trash the house.

"And you know Mrs. Santiago is only a block away if you need her," mom told us.

"Yeah, mom! Goodbye!" Jacob said, now getting slightly agitated.

"They'll be fine Jamie, come on! We have to go pick up Paul and Denise!" my dad said, dragging my out the door before giving us all one last hug and kiss.

"Take good care of Danny! I want her in bed by 9:30, no later!"

"Mom, it's Friday, give the kid some slack! Jeez!" I yelled, as she was just about to close the door.

"Abigail Rose!" my mom said warningly, "Be good you three! Danny listen to your brother and sister. Love you!"

And with that they drove off. Thank god because I thought they would never leave! My siblings and I walked into the kitchen and I turned to Jake, smiling widely. "Tonight's going to be amazing! I can't wait until they-"

"LUCY I'M HOME!" I heard the obnoxious voice of Joseph Jonas from the foyer.

"We're in here!" little Danny yelled.

"Danny!" Kevin yelled, instantly picking up my sister and swinging her around.

"Where's Frank the Tank?" I asked.

"He went to our cousin's house. He's staying there for the weekend because he barely gets to see them," Nick explained, taking Danny out of Kevin's arms and holding her, placing her on his hip, "Damn kiddo, you're getting pretty big you know that?"

She smiled up at him, placing a kiss on his cheek before nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck and whispering, "I love you Nicky!" It was the most precious thing I've ever seen. Everyone "Aww'd" at the sight.

Later that night, we placed Danny into bed. Kevin stayed with me while I sang her a lullaby.

"Hush now, my baby. Be still love, don't cry. Sleep as you're rocked by the stream. Sleep and remember, my last lullaby. So I'll be with you, when you dream," I sang and she was out like a light. Prince of Egypt was her first favorite movie, and probably around my second. My first was definitely The Nightmare Before Christmas by Tim Burton, fer sure.

As we walked out of the room, Kevin placed his arm around me, stopping in the middle of the hallway before pulling me into a hug. I looked up at him, a worried look upon my face.

"Kevin?" I asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm...I'm fine Abby," he let a tear fall.

"Fine doesn't always mean what most people think it does," I said in a hushed voice, wiping away another tear that tried to make its way down his cheek.

"You're right, it doesn't," he said slowly, his voice cracked.

I pulled away from his hug and pulled him into my room by the hand and sat him down on the bed, me sitting next to him. I placed a reassuring hand on his, and waited for him to talk. It took him about five minutes. He must've opened and closed his mouth at least ten times in that short period of time.

"Kevin," I said finally. He looked up at me, "You can tell me anything, you do know that, right?"

He nodded his head, "I know...I just...it's hard to say because...Because I guess that I just...I don't want to admit it, it feels so wrong but it's...it's what I am, I guess."

I waited for him to continue in silence and rubbed comforting designs on his arm as I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped the other arm around the same one I was making my beautiful art on.

"I'm not what you think I am, Abby," he said, turning his head towards me.

"Then tell me what you are you, Kevin," I whispered.

"I-I'm...Um, I'm gay," he pulled away from me as his voice cracked again.

"Kevin, that's-"

He got up from the bed and started pacing the room, "I know Abby, it's gross and disgusting! It's wrong! It's-"

"Kevin, seriously-"

"Abby, I'm a good Christian! I'm a good Christian boy, almost man! Why did this have to happen to me? It's not right! I don't understand. It's so against God!" he looked over at me and must have taken my face staring down at my shoes the wrong way because he started to freak out. He quickly walked over to me and got on one knee and took my hands into his, "Oh god, your disgusted in me aren’t you? Abby, please! God, I knew I shouldn't have told anyone...Please Abby, just...Just don't tell anyone and I promise I will leave you alone, please!" And he broke down crying, sobbing on the floor.

I quickly jumped off the bed, hugging him and rocking us back and forth while shushing him. His form shook and racked and I felt absolutely horrible.

"Kevin, Kevin! I'm not grossed out! I'm happy for you," I said, pushing his hair out of his eyes, "Kevin, it's okay!"

"Why aren’t you freaking out!? I just told you what I am! I'm gay!" he whispered, sniffling.

"Kevin, you're over-reacting. Stop, shh," he broke down again, "You're name isn't "gay", it's Paul Kevin Jonas II," he chuckled a bit, "Kevin, do you want to know what I see? Truly? I see a seventeen year old young man who just so happens to be my best friend. I see a wonderful guy in my arms right now that I can tell everything and anything too, and I'm glad he can do the same to me."

"I love you, Abby. You're the closest thing I have to a sister," he said, holding onto me tighter.

"I love you too Kevin," I said as I played with his hair.

"Thanks for not judging me..."

"Kevin, you need to stop using stereotypes, really. You like guys, so? You're still Kevin to me. And you should still be Kevin to anyone you decide to tell," I said.

He smiled, sitting up and wiping his eyes with his hand. I got up and got his a tissue and he took it gladly to blow his nose...ew...I laughed and still played with his hair curling it around my fingers. Five minutes later he fully collected himself and got up off my grey carpeted floor to go to the bathroom that attached my brother's room and mine. When he came back, he laid back on the bed with me, looking up at the white ceiling. We let our feet dangle off the edge.

"So don't you want to know how I found out?" he asked, turning to face me and smiled.

I turned my head towards his and smiled as well, "If you're willing to tell me, duh!"

He giggled, "Jake."

I quickly sat up, my eyes wide, "Fer serious!?" I let out a loud squeal before quickly collecting myself and launched myself on top of him, giving him a big hug.

"Yep," he said, hugging me back, looking me straight in the eye and then looking up back at the ceiling. It was so cute.

"I'm so happy for you Kevin, really. And do you want to know a little secret?" I asked, he didn't even get a chance to respond, "I think he likes you too!"

"You really think so?" he asked, turning his eyes back to mine so quickly it would have made me dizzy.

"Would I lie to you?" I asked.

"No. Oh my god Abby, I'm so glad I told you."

"I'm glad you told me too Kev. Now lets go downstairs, I'm sure they are wondering what the hell we are doing up here that could possibly be taking so damn long."

He laughed as I got up off of him, "You and your potty mouth!"

I laughed too and we made our way downstairs into the basement. And let the fun begin.