Your Heart in My Hands

I hit my head up against the one of the giant stereos as the bass from 'Everything I Ask For' started to play. As of right now, I should seriously be on suicide watch. No lie.

Tina began to shake me as I started to hear John'sbeautiful vocals making their way through the speakers, "Hey! Wake up! We need to sell merch!"

I whined, "I don't want to go! I feel sick."

She laughed, "Liar! You just feel all loopy because of that John dare, which, by the way, I owe you twenty bucks for."

"Give me twenty more and I'll move," I held out my hand.

She rolled her eyes, "Not going to happen. Come on, lazy ass. We have a job to do."

She tugged on my arm, and I openly protested my holding on for dear life on the stereo's stand, "I don't want to! John will see me!"

"Does it really matter that much?!"

"Kind of!" I shrieked. "He wants to talk to me behind the trailer right after they come off! Seeing me will give him more motivation and a reason not to forget about it!"

"UGH!" She gave my arm a last hard yank, sending me to the floor along with a really bad butt bruise. "You are confronting John, and you will like it."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, come with me and sell the damn merch."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine, fine, fine."

She smiled, "Yay."

I helped myself off the ground and sighed, "How long do we have to stay there?"

"Until they come off. Don't worry. They only have a couple more minutes and then Mayday Parade's merch guy will switch shifts with us."

I groaned, "Less time to avoid the situation."

I received a hard slap to the back of my head, "Suck it up, woman!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?!"

"I have no fucking idea!"

She rolled her eyes and hooked her arm in mine, "Look, you're my friend. I hate seeing you like this over some guy, especially John."

I looked to my feet, "I just really don't want him to find out."

"Do you honestly think that he'll react that badly to finding out about this?"

"Yes," I sighed. "I mean, I have nothing to back it up, but I just keep picturing the worst thing possible that could happen. And I really would rather not risk it."

She shook her head, "Kyra, Deee, all of the above, we are talking about John. The John who received a pretty nasty black eye because some kids said you were short. If you think that he is going to react so terribly, then there is definitely something wrong."

I looked to my feet and avoided her last comment, "Come on. Let's sell some damn merch."

She followed closely behind me as I made my way past the mosh pit. Girls stared at us as we walked behind the desk and fixed the t-shirts that were hanging on the rack. I could feel John's wandering eyes piercing my quivering skin.

A petite girl in a light blue shirt walked up to me, "Do you have that shirt with Johnny on it?"

My anger started to boil, "No, we do not have that shirt with John on it."

She pouted, "Damn! I wanted to show it off at school."

I rolled my eyes. I leaned over to Tina, "These fucking poser fans are annoying the hell out of me. Since when do they call John 'Johnny'?"

She shrugged, "Teen minds do have a slight tendency to twist things in their minds and tell it to the wrong people."

I sighed, "That is one of those few occasions where I still wished that they were still a garage band, you know? Just us and the music, no groupies required."

"Well, things change. We never like it though."

Josh from Every Avenue walked up to us with a water bottle in hand, "Hey, ladies."

"Hey, Josh," I said quietly.

He chuckled, "Why so sad? I heard about what happened during the pre-show ritual." He smiled.

Tina laughed, "Word spreads fast, I guess."

He laughed with her then turned to me, "What's wrong?"

"Complicated shit," I muttered.

He pat me on the back, "You'll get through it. Oh, and by the way."

"Hm?"

"John asked me to remind you about that thing he wanted to talk to you about behind their trailer."

I groaned and slammed my head on the desk.

He looked to Tina, "What'd I say?"

She put her hand on his shoulder, "You did nothing wrong. I assure you."