Your Heart in My Hands

John's Point Of view.

"Just tell her already, John." Kennedy persisted before, during, and after every show with the same recited phrase. It grew old eventually, but I learned to live with it.

Sure, I had thought about telling her before, but something always ended up pulling me away from the subject. She wouldn't like me, of all people. I don't deserve her anyway. It surprises me that she's managed to say single for more than three months let alone a year.

We exited off the stage. I looked towards the merch area to see if Kyra was still there. She and Tina stood there, talking to Josh. I shook my head of the thought that she was flirting with him.

I rolled my eyes, "Why does she even need to know, Ken? I mean, it's not as if she'll say that she loves me back."

"Woah, woah, woah! Loves?"

I hesitated. "Yes, loves. I love her."

"Well, if that little wink or whatever the hell it was didn't give anything away then you're insanely oblivious."

I rolled my eyes, "That could have just been a little mistake. A twitch of the eye. A dry contact lens."

He bit his tongue but didn't reply to my response.

"What?" Something about his look told me I was missing a key fact.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Dude, seriously. What?"

He shook his head, "Never mind."

"Hold on a second. Are you kidding me?"

He shook his head, "It's none of my business."

"Hold on one fucking minute! You're joking, right?" I insisted.

"I'm not supposed to contribute to this!" He clasped his hand tightly over his mouth

"You think she likes me?!"

"YES!" He practically screamed through his hand.

I did a double take. No. No-- NO FUCKING WAY! Not possible! Nuh-uh!

"She's crazy about you, John. She's always been crazy about you. I'm pretty sure that she would take a bullet for you, too." He said sincerely.

I shook my head, "That's a lie. She doesn't care about me like that. Maybe as a friend, but never like that."

"You'd be surprised." He said it so casually that I was almost positive that he was just pulling on my heart strings. After he didn't start to laugh, I realized that he must have been telling the truth.

I sat down on the spot, "It just doesn't match."

"Match?"

"She rights about losing love when I write about loving her. She says love is a luxury even though I've never ever seen her express it to anyone."

When she and I were young, just hanging around by ourselves, she'd scribble down poetry. I'd never understood where she got her material. She just always said that it was a secret.

"Have you ever began to think what that love that she's been losing is? Or the reason why she even knows that love is a luxury?"

Go figure that I'm the secret.

I started to mentally kick my own ass. How could I have been so blind? She's been telling me that she'd loved me this whole time. I rested back, "What am I going to do, Kennedy? I'm losing her. I can't afford to. Not like this."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm driving her away, man."

He gave me a questionable look.

"If she thinks that I don't love her back, then... She might let me go." I felt the tears coming.

He sighed then pat me on the back, "Just tell her the way you tell everyone everything."

I smiled, "You know me all too well."

He chuckled, "I'm beginning to hear that very often."

I got up and headed for the door, "I'm going to go find her."

He stood up and grabbed my arm, "So are you going to tell her?"

I paused, "Are you insane?! Of course not! She'll completely freak out!"

He rolled his eyes, "How would you know? I mean, this is Kyra we're talking about. She's not really one to over-react like that."

"Ugh," I hung my head back. "I just don't want her to worry or anything. Who knows? Maybe I'll change my mind at the last second and kiss her on the spot."

He raised his eyebrow, "Seriously?"

"Sarcasm."

"Oh," he sighed. "I guess I can't force you to tell her."

"You guessed correctly."