Who's Your Daddy?

Lilly: So where did we leave off...

Annie: Oh, heavens, I have no idea....

Annie: I remember Pete was in a turban because he washed his hair....

Lilly: Same, that's all I could remember. Oh well. We'll just start off with them looking for the baby.

Annie: It was funny.

Lilly: It was Annie, it was.

---

Pete wandered into the room wearing a turban on to protect his fragile, washed hair.

Pete: Where's the baby?

Butcher: Whoa.

Pete: What?

Sisky: The baby. It's gone.

Everyone's eyebrows raised...Although they were not that surprised.

Brendon: Pete, you're usually so self obsessed, you never notice when your wife's around....

Pete: I have a wife?

Brendon: Then I guess I shouldn't talk about your kid...

Pete: Um, dude, I already know about my 'kid'.

Ryan: NO WAY.

Pete: I thought we were going to refer to my penis as the hammer though?

Everyone: '..........'

William: FUCK! THE BABY!

Pete: Nah, he's a big boy now...

Gabe: Touch me, Will....

Will: I don't know where you've been.

Gabe: Been in your pants...

Everyone: ooooo

Sisky: Vege-

Chizz: -death glare-

Sisky: Vegetables. *cough* They're good for you.

Carden: We should give the baby some.

Brendon: Should we look for this kid or not?

Spencer: I am so stoned, man.

Jon: Don't make me bro rape you.

Spencer: I raped you first.

Jon: Nu-uh.

Spencer: Ya-huh!

A moment of awkward silence, then-

Carden: You lost the game!

Everyone: That's what she said!

Patrick: I can't believe I have to deal with this all the time....

Pete: I HAVE A NEW FRIEND REQUEST!!

Joe: Spencer, did you bro rape me too? I can't remember anything besides the floating neon mushrooms...

Gabe: I raped all of you first.

Unsurprisingly, everyone is unsurprised.

Sisky: Seriously here, we need to find this baby...

Guy Ripley: Delicious! I'll begin looking over by William...

Ryland: GTFO GUY RIPLEY!

Guy Ripley: *stabs with Hannah Montana pen*

Ryland: Stop doing thatttttt!

Everyone is laughing that Ryland is talking and hurting himself.

Patrick: Has it ever occurred to any of you that he may have a serious medical condition?

Ryan, looking around: And we don't?

Patrick: You just insulted yourself, you makeup hog.

Pete: WHO BE STEALING MY MAKEUP??

Ryan: Makeup! Nooooo! I forsook that shit when I got this ugly haircut and this awful, vintage flowered shirt!

Brendon: I got you that shirt.

Ryan: And you took it off, too....

Pete: I am so video taping this and putting it on my Myspace....

Sisky: Is that the baby? No, just an old sock....

Butcher: An old sock or an exploded condom? There is a difference, around here.

Sisky: Condom.

Pete, in his 'those are fugly shoes, biatch' voice: ew.

Gabe: I knew I should have thrown that away...

Bilvy: Come out, baby, we don't bite...

Ryan: Except during sex, and we're all gay anyways...

Pete: Rock love isn't gay love. STFU.

Brendon: Rock love is....uh...Fuck, I haven't got a clue.

Gabe, who is sneaking over to Vicky-T's dresser, opens her underwear drawer and grins. He reaches in and sneakily stuffs a bunch into his pocket.

Guy Ripley: Victoriaaa....

Vicky-T slaps him.

Guy Ripley: Ouch, Victoria, love, I'm not the one stealing your panties!

Gabe: Hey, guys! I found the baby! It was in with Vicky's bras.

Sisky, peering over Gabe's shoulder: It has good taste.

Everyone congratulates Gabe. Crisis averted.