My Camp Romance

This is wrong. Everything I've ever known is telling me that this is a mistake. He's an artist, he's six years older then me, he's been teaching me about art and life for the past two weeks. He can't possibly love me

Jake, the twenty one year old Program Director here at camp, love me? It's utterly impossible to think that it could happen, but I'd lost all control over myself. My feet were carrying my quickly toward him and I could stop them. I'd be on auto-pilot the minute I reached him, my mouth working a mile a minute telling him exactly how I feel about him. It was goin to be a disaster.

"Hey Jake." He turned to me and flashed me the most dazzling smile. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I knew exactly what was going to happen, I was going to wreck my last few hours here at camp because I can't control my huge crush. Scratch that, this isn't a crush, I love him. He taught me so much this summer; he helped me be a better artist and he opened my eyes to life. I love him.

"Sure Liza. I'll be right back guys." He waved dismisivley at the other staff members and I couldn't help but smile. Not only did he have a nickname for me, but he was just shoving the other people aside to talk to me. Suddenly, I was flying sky high and was totally confident in telling him this.

"So...what'dya need to talk about?" Then reality hit me. We were standing a few feet away from everyone else, and no one really noticed. We were tiny insignificant people at that moment.

"Uhm...well...uh..." I couldn't speak. It was like my brain just stopped working all together. "Can I tell you something?" I managed to spit out that much.

Jake just smiled. "You can tell me anything. Shoot." I smiled back at him despite how nervous I was feeling.

"I don't...uhm...really know how I say this." I took a deep breath and let everything spill out. "I know I just met you two weeks ago and I know you're older then me and that you'll probably hate me after this but I just...you're inspired me so much since I got here and really shown me what lifes about I just think you're so amazing," I paused long enough to take a breath. "I think I'm in love with you."

My whole face was suddenly on fire as I caught a glimpes of his face. Jake's skin was a pasty white and his mouth was hanging open in shock. My heart lept into my throat and my eyes started welling up with tears. I knew this was a mistake! Why did I have to do this?

"Well...uhm...Eliza...you know I think you're wonderful right?"

A couple tears spilled over and ran down my face. He brushed them away with his thumb. "But?" My voice broke when I spoke.

Jake wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me. I wrapped my own arms around his waist and burried my face in his chest. This was it. Rejection. I can't say I'm on speaking terms with the idea but it's happened to me before. It shouldn't be this hard.

"I can't love you Liza. You're a camper, I'd get fired and then I'd never get to inspire another teen the way I inspired you. I'm sorry. You really are a beutiful and intelligent girl but...I can't." I nodded and pulled away from his hug. The longer I stayed there the harder it would be to let go.

I looked up cautiously and saw the sorrow in his crystal blue eyes. It was devestating. I couldn't believe that I was the one to do this to him. It killed me. He hates to hurt anyone, especially the campers. We mean the world to him.

"I'm sorry Jake. I guess I'll see you next summer?" He gave me a huge smile, without replacing the hurt look in his eyes.

"I can't wait." I gave him one last hug and then walked away. I had to. Looking into his eyes was the most painful thing I'd ever done. I'd go back and stop myself from ever telling him this if I could, just to take away the pain.

On the bus back home, I plugged in my Mp3 and trying to tune out the buzz of happy campers ready for their own bed and their friends back. I went through a couple songs before I finally hit the one I was looking for. It was the one I had writen as part of the program and Jake has put on here for me so I'd always have it. I was playing the piano part and we took turns singing the parts we wrote.

"You don't seem to realize how much you mean to me.
It's like you're blind and you'll never see
The love I hold for you in my heart
Even though in a week we'll be miles apart"

The lyrics of the song finally hit me, and I smiled silently to myself. Was it possible he had written his parts for me? I know I wrote mine for him...

Even if I was just looking for excuses to believe that he loved me, the song still brought a warmness to me heart as the bus pulled me farther and farther away from the love of my life.