We Need No Introduction

“Blair…” Poke. “Blair baby, wakie wakie…” Poke. “Blaaaaiiirr…” Poke.

I groaned, rolling over while hitting Bam with my body. He laughed and poked me once more.

“Knockitoff,” I said quickly. Bam laughed once more.

“I’m cold,” he whined. “I think the heat is broken.”

I whined, curling up to Bam once I realized myself it was indeed cold.

“Leave me alone, I’m sleepy.”

Bam laughed and I looked up at him. “Good morning, Starshine, the earth says ‘Hello.’”

I smiled and curled my head back into his chest. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “You’re so cute when you wake up.”

“Shut up,” I said while closing my eyes. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“You’re awake now, so go see what is wrong with the heat.”

“Why can’t you?” I asked.

“Because for one, this is your place and you know where it is and two, you’re on top of me.”

“I guess I am,” I said looking around before my eyes fell on his. “But you’re comfy so shut up.”

“Did you sleep well?” he asked after a pause, gently running his fingers up and down my back. I nodded, closing my eyes. “Blair… it’s cold… do something about it.”

I groaned as I hastily got off of him, a slight headache starting to occur from last night. I went to where the thermostat was a looked at before deciding what to do with it. I turned it on, blaming that to be the problem, and cranked up the heat. The heater kicked on and I went back into the living room where Bam and I fell asleep.

“What was wrong with it?” he asked as I laid back on top of him.

“It was turned off.”

“Why was it turned off?”

I shrugged the best I could. “Dunno.”

“Why don’t you get up?” Bam asked with a laugh. “We should do something.”

“Like what?” I mumbled.

“I dunno… talk about last night?”

“What happened last night that you want to talk about?”

“Well… do you remember anything?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“What do you remember?”

“Stuff,” I said with a smirk, one which Bam couldn’t see. I knew what he was getting at, but I was going to have my fun first.

“Like…?”

“Time to sleep,” I mumbled.

“But it’s one in the afternoon.”

“So?”

“Look at me,” he said. I did and met his eyes. “Please tell me what you remember.”

“Why? It’s not like anything important happened.”

“Oh…”

“I mean, we’re only dating now and-”

Bam flipped us over, how he did it, I’ll never know how, but he did. After he did this, he started to tickle me.

“Bam… stop!” I laughed out.

“You got me all worried!”

I laughed some more as his fingers danced over my sides. “So?!”

“I shall never back down!” he exclaimed. I managed to push him off me and scurried off the couch, running to my room and shutting the door behind me, laughing all the way.

“Say uncle!” Bam said at my door.

“Aunt!” I said with a laugh.

“Good enough now let me in!”

“No!” I shrieked with laughter. “You’ll tickle me.”

“I promise not to,” he said.

“Better keep that promise Margera.”

“I will Macfadden.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Yup.”

I opened the door and Bam whisked me up in a hug. “Thought you wouldn’t remember then it would all just be some drunken mistake.”

“Nope. Not a drunken mistake.”

Bam smiled and stopped spinning us long enough to kiss me sweetly on the lips. “We should get married now,” he said.

I laughed and shook my head as my arms clutched his shoulders. “We only started dating. Besides, you should know me well enough. I don’t want to get married until I’m in my mid twenties.”

Bam pouted. “Why that long?”

“It’s not that far away. I’m 21. And… because I said so,” I said with a smirk. “If and when I get married-”

“What do you mean ‘if?’ You’re gonna get married one day, I can tell you that. If not with me, then I’m sure you’ll make some lady very happy.” I laughed and slapped his arm. “Ow!”

I laughed harder at this. “Oh, I’m sorry… did I hurt baby Bam?”

Bam pouted and nodded. “Kiss it and make it all better.” I laughed, but kissed his arm nonetheless.

“Better?” I asked.

“Much,” he grinned and kissed me on the lips. “So what are we going to do today?” he asked, letting go of me andjumping like a child sitting onto my bed. I shrugged and leaned against the door frame.

“We can… sit around and watch movies all day.” I went over to my window and peaked outside. “Which looks like we’re gonna have to cause it looks pretty bad out there.”

“What?!” he exclaimed, jumping up and standing next to me. “All that hard work with the salt to get this shit?!”

I laughed and dragged a pouting Bam out of my bedroom, or at least tried to.

“Let’s just stay in bed all day and eat popcorn and drink.”

“Drink what?”

“Let’s get drunk again and hopefully I can get lucky.”

“Bam,” I sighed playfully. “If you were gonna get lucky then you would have last night, but you didn’t.”

“We were too drunk to make it off your couch but this time we would get drunk in your bed.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “I don’t think so. How about hot chocolate?”

“How about a hot shower?”

“Sounds nice. I’ll go first.”

“But… but you’ll take all the hot water!”

“No I won’t,” I said getting a clean pair of pajamas out of my dresser.

“That’s right because we can both shower together, thus saving the hot water for both of us.”

“Nope, don’t think so,” I said. “Did you bring any clean clothes?”

Bam thought for a moment and shook his head. “Dunn went off with all of mine before I had a chance to get them out of the car.”

“Well that sucks. I may have some big shirts for you…”

“I don’t think your biggest shirt would fit me.”

“Wanna try?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Your biggest would be too small for me.”

“Okay,” I said with a knowing smile. I went to my closet and dug out a shirt Bam gave me years ago that was one of his when he didn’t want it anymore. It was an old misfits shirt and he ‘didn’t want it’ anymore because I liked it.

“I didn’t know you had that shirt still,” he said while looking at it.

“Yup,” I replied. “Still do.”

“How about this,” he said. “I don’t care if I wear the same clothes two or five days in a row.”

“But I do,” I said. “It’s kinda gross.”

Bam sighed. “Fine. How about I take off all my clothes and stay cozy naked under your sheets while you wash mine?”

“How about no, you can wear a pair of Zack’s shorts he left here before they all moves out to the big HB.”

“Why did Zack leave a pair of shorts here?” he asked with a scrunched up face.

I laughed and kissed his lips. “Because before they moved out here, Zacky made me wash all his laundry before they moved and he forgot his shorts.”

“Fine, whatever. Here,” he said stripping down in front of me.

“AH! NAKIE BAM!” I exclaimed.

Bam scoffed and put his dirty clothes in a pile as he stood stark nude in front of me.

“What? It’s not like you do the same thing,”

“Yeah, but I don’t expose everything like that either! I’m… elegant like that.”

“Like a Playboy model?” he asked with a smirk.

“Yes. Classy not trashy.”

“Think you could be my personal… Playboy model?”

I laughed and threw him Zacky’s shorts.

“Why are they all tied tight with the strings?”

“What?! They’re comfy!” I exclaimed. Bam laughed and untied the knot I made and slipped them on.

“I love you,” he said. “and all your quirks too.”

“Oh gee thanks,” I replied while grabbing a towel and a set of underwear. “I’ll be in the shower. The washing machine and stuff is in the kitchen.”

“Think about me while you’re touching yourself,” he said while he walked out of my bedroom.

“Only if you do the same while you’re washing your clothes. Just remember I wear those shorts and to clean up after yourself.”

“I will!”