Please Turn Back The Time

Jimmy stared at me blankly. "You have a..." He stuttered.

I bit my lip and look down at my lap that was seated on his. I shook my head softly as tears brimmed my eyes.

Jimmy kissed my cheek and pulled me into his arms tighter. "It okay sweetie. Tell me what happened."

I looked up at him and felt tears run down my cheeks. "What part?"

He wiped away my tears with his fingertips and then brought them down to my tummy. He pat it gently. "Baby Gates."

I placed my hands on top of his and nestled back more into his body. I nodded slowly closing my eyes and telling him the story.

"How was school today Katen?" my mom asked as I entered our new New York house. I sat my keys on the counter along with my books and bag, heading into the living room where she sat folding the laundry.

"Okay." I sighed and sat down in the black leather Lazyboy chair. It was the second week of my senior year and I was on my fourth month. My baggy clothes hung loosely around my figure that was beginning to grow. "I'm actually really tired." I whispered, pulling myself off the couch.

My mom smiled at me and nodded her as she folded a shirt. "I'll wake you up when dinner is ready."

I nodded as I picked up my books and my bag and headed up the stairs slowly. I walked into my room and set them on my desk, noting I would do my homework after dinner.

I turned on the TV and laid down in my bed with the remote in my hands. I flipped through several stations before landing on MTV, TRL was on.

"Welcome back to TRL." the VJ said. I forget what his name was. "Today we are bringing out a new band that is climbing their way onto our countdown."

I took a deep breath as everyone is the studio audience, who already knew what band it was, began to scream.

"Everyone give it up for Avenged Sevenfold!" The VJ yelled into his microphone. I laid there blankly watching all of them one by one, starting with Matt appear on the stage. "Thanks for coming guys."

"No Problem." Matt said looking around the studio, waving to some fans.

"We're glad to be here." Jimmy said next.

They talked for another twenty seconds or so before the VJ began to ask them each a question about their history as a band and their songs. I listed to each of them and noticed a new guy I haven't meet before was there to. I learned his name was Johnny, and apparently they meet him in LA.

"So Brian, I heard you wrote the song Dear God." the VJ announced. Brian nodded bringing his Mic up to his lips. He licked them softly waiting for the VJ to finish. "Here we have clip of it." he said holding his finger.

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

I took a deep breath staring at Brian's brown eyes, that looked nervous along with the rest of the guys. This was my song.

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

"So" the VJ said looking at Brian again. "Is there someone special you wrote that for?"

He nodded and smiled softly. "Its for someone really special."

I rolled my eyes and was about to change the channel but I kept listening instead. "A girlfriend maybe."

Brian rubbed the back of his head with a small blush on his cheeks. "An ex. But we don't talk about that anymore."

The VJ nodded and chuckled. "Bad break?" Brian nodded. The VJ laughed and looked back at the camera. "Well you heard it ladies. Brian is single and ready for all of you."

The guys laughed and clapped Brian's back. "Fuck yeah he is."

Brian laughed into the Mic. "Ex girlfriend who?"

I narrowed my eyes at the TV and threw the remote at it. It missed the TV by a long shot and hit the wall instead. I was fuming. What the hell was his problem?! Did I mean nothing to him? Was I just something for him to fuck in high school and when something, I looked down at my stomach, gets a little more complicated he bails?

"Brian fucking Haner I ha-ahhhhhhhhhh!" I screamed clenching my stomach. I had a sharp shooting pain running throughout my body.

"Katen!" my mom yelled up the stairs. I screamed back in pain and I heard her feet running up the stairs. "What is it Katen?"

"My stomach." I cried. "it hurts so bad. Mom...something is wrong."

She ran a hand through her hair as she sprinted to my dresser and picked up my phone. "Hello, yes my daughter is pregnant and she's in some serious" I screamed again, an ear-piercing scream. "pain, hurry."

I closed my eyes as the pain began to shoot through my body, constantly. I held my stomach protectively, hoping nothing was wrong with my baby.

"They're on their way Katen." I heard her say faintly. Her voice began to fade. "Katen? Katen you need to stay awake. Katen!" She screamed.

But it was to late I was already out cold, in my own black little world.

I opened my teary eyes and stared at Jimmy's hands, that during sometime in my story found mine. He rubbed them softly with his thumb.

"It hurt so much." I whispered. I heard a soft sniffle and it wasn't me. I twisted my head to look at Jimmy. For such a tough looking guy he sure was able to show his soft side, once in a while.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't there. That he wasn't there." he spat his last sentence. "He fucking killed your kid. He made you so depressed and angry. Brian killed your fucking child."

I shook my head and rested my forehead on his shoulder, closing my eyes again.

I opened my blue eyes and peered around at the blurry white walls, that surrounded me. My vision slowly came back and I was able to hear the beeping of the monitor next to me.

"Mom. Dad." I whispered as I saw them in two chairs looking like they hadn't had slept in hours. "My head hurts."

"Ow sweetie." my mom said grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "I'm so sorry." she sobbed.

I arched up my eyebrow at her in confusion. "Why?" she didn't answer she just kept crying. "Why is she crying daddy?"

My dad looked away for a second with his arms wrapped around his chest. He sighed and looked back at me with his red puffy eyes. Weird my dad never cried. "You lost your." he said softly.

I froze and slowly turned my head to look down at my stomach. No. My once bigger stomach was flattened. I ripped the sheets off me and I was correct. My stomach was tiny again, and my baby was gone.

I looked up at the ceiling and tears rolled down my eyes, followed by loud sobs.

"I'm sorry baby girl." My dad whispered as he kissed my cheek. I nodded and continued to leak my tears out.

The door opened and in walked a doctor. "Glad your up." he smiled at me.

I just stared at the ceiling. "Why?" I choked out.

"You were under a lot of stress and the baby just couldn't keep up with it. Tell me what was your eating and sleeping habits like?" After I didn't speak he continued. "Thought so. Katen you needed to eat more, then you were and sleep is very important. Added with all your stress you basically passed your stressed life out to him."

"Him?"

He nodded. "It was a baby boy."

I looked down at the doctor blankly. It was my fault. I wasn't taking care of myself, meaning I wasn't taking care of him.

"I'm sorry." the doctor whispered. He left the room and I looked at my parents asking them silently to leave me alone. They got up and saying they would go get something to eat.

"Jayden." That was the name I was going to give him, if it were a boy. Lily if a girl. "I said not be like your daddy." I choked on a tear. "And leave me."

Jimmy pulled me even closer, if possible and rubbed my back as I sobbed on his shirt. "I'm sorry." I could tell he was trying to be strong for me, but it wasn't working.

"It wasn't his fault. It was mine."

"He made you like that Katen." Jimmy said. "He made you depressed if he would of stayed. You and Jayden would be fine."

I shook my head. "But he didn't. You can change the past."

"But" he added."You can always change the future" He kissed my cheek and stood us up.

"Do you have to go?" I asked looking up at him.

He nodded and I pouted slightly. "Don't worry." he smiled though his puffy red eyes. "Put a coat and smile on for me." he said grabbing my hand and leading us to the steps.

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm going to kill Brian and your coming with, as a witness, so everyone knows he truly is six feet under."