Twisted Up

I stood still waiting for my face to turn back to normal when I felt a pair of arms being wrapped around me.

“Awww c’mon baby Paigey. Let me see that adorable face of yours.”

I looked up and saw my favorite pair of eyes staring back at me. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug.

“You have no idea how much I missed you today.” I said into his shirt, but I knew he heard me.

“Probably not as much as I missed you. I had the make-up girl hitting on me all day.”

I frowned as I pulled out of the hug, still holding his hand.

“ So? I had a horny old hobo oogling my chest all day. I win!”

His eyes narrowed,concerned.

“He looked at you?”

“ Pat, how could he not look at me? I’m amazing! Besides Alex was right next to me the whole time and he wasn’t happy about it either.” I tried to play it off but he still looked concerned.

“Pat-“ I pulled him over to the wings of the stage where there weren’t as many people.

“- Please just let this go. I know what happened scared you but you have to realize how rare that was. I’ve moved past what he did to me but I can’t stand what that guy did to us.”

He looked confused as I lead him into a vacant dressing room so we could have some
privacy.

I sat on one of the stools in front of the counter, both sets of fingers laced with his.

“What he did to us?”

“He made you stressed, Colby freaked and by extension smothered me.”

His eyes did that narrowing thing again. “I’m smothering you?”

Now he looked hurt.

“No! Well yes. Ugh!! Please just let me explain, please don’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions until I tell you everything.”

There was a knock on the door and Garrett popped his head in to tell Pat it was time for sound check. He left and Pat continued to stare at me.

“I’m not mad. I’m not unhappy. I really care about you. Know this. Can we finish this talk when you’re done with sound check?”

He just looked at me. I knew this had gotten blown up way more than it should have. He kissed me on the cheek and left the room. I got a text from Matty saying I was supposed to take pictures of the show tonight instead of doing merch. Which is good because then I’d have more time with Pat. I walked out of the dressing room and walked around the stage getting a feel for it, making mental notes of what spots I could shoot from and which spots had great angles. The minute The Maine finished soundcheck Pat stormed off the stage. I followed him to the same dressing room we had just been in and I shut the door behind me. I walked over to Pat who had taken a seat on the stool I had previously occupied. He was looking down at his shoes, I tilted his face up so he was looking at me.

“Please, I didn’t word things right earlier. Just let me explain.”

He just looked at me and didn’t say anything. So I took that as a cue to start talking.

“ That night changed everything. That night was the only night that I’ve ever felt uncomfortable walking somewhere alone. I one hundred and ten percent get that everyone wants me to be safe. But there are times when I need Paige time. That’s where the smothering comment came from. Having someone ordered to protect me twenty four-seven kind of makes me feel like its not my life anymore. Like I’m not even allowed to be on the bus alone, you getting worked up over every little thing isn’t healthy for you. It’s not healthy for us.”

I took my right hand in his and continued to look him in the eyes. He reached up and brushed my cheek with his hand.

“ That night, I realized that I had started to take you for granted. That I could lose you so easily. That made me become more protective of you, I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you. I’m sorry that I’ve been over-bearing lately, I guess I can let up a little bit.”

“I know you’re not going to like this idea and neither is Colby but I would really love it if things could go back to the way they were before. I promise to call you or someone if I ever feel creeped out like that again. I really do love seeing how much everyone cares, but I hate being an inconvience to anyone, you know that. And I feel like when I’m being watched by someone I’m being an inconvience.”

His eyes softened up and the hurt melted away, he finally understood how I felt. He got it.

“ I understand how you feel. I guess I wouldn’t like it either if I was in your situation. I’ll talk to Colby about easing up on your security. Truth is, I would love to go back to the way things were. Then, when I thought about you it was about how amazing you are and how much I missed you. Now, its just about where you are and if you’re safe. I definitely think this is better. I’m sorry I smothered you.”

“You didn’t mean to smother me, the others added to it and it all just became too much. You’re never going to lose me. Ever.”

The look in his eyes was now one of warmth and love. He stood up off of the stool and held his arms out so I could hug him. We just stood there, my face buried in his chest and his in my hair. I took in his scent and I felt him running his fingers through my hair when it hit me.
I Love Patrick Kirch.
I glanced at the clock and saw there was only ten minutes till showtime.

“I have to go get my camera. Walk me out to the bus?” I said

“Sure.”

We walked in silence to the bus, I retrieved my camera and we made our way back towards to venue skipping, wizard of oz style and making whoever saw us, laugh. I said goodbye to Pat and wished the rest of the boys a good show as I went and took my first spot on the side of the stage by the crowd.

“Whats up Birmingham???” Nate Yelled as Bidwell ran on stage.

As the show started I took pictures from the stairs on either side of the stage, I flashed the pit guard my pass and he nodded, I was the only one besides another tour photographer allowed in the photographers pit when it wasn’t time for the rest of the photographers to rush in. I got in after all the regular photographers had gone in so I wouldn’t be fighting for the shot. I nodded to Jake, The other photographer from the tour and we both began to take out shots. Bidwell’s set ended so Jake and I rushed to the side of the pit to meet up and talk.

“Hey, how come those two got to go in? Photographers are only allowed to go in during the designated time!” a skinny blonde photog complained to the guard. You could smell the alcohol on her breath.

“They’re with the tour.” He grumble back.

“But I’m with SPIN. Don’t you know that?” The blonde tried to get into the Pit again but the guard stopped her.

I rolled my eyes as I stood with Jake talking about who was going to shoot where. The blonde must have seen me because the next thing I knew she was trying to get past the guard again and yelling at me.

“You bitch! Do you know who I am? I’m the music photographer for SPIN magazine!”

I took a step back startled as she somehow got through the guard who was calling for backup, she went to grab me but Jake stepped infront of me. At 6’2 and a muscular 190 pounds, Jake isn’t exactly someone you want to mess with.

“Watch it, lady.” He warned. I quickly took his camera from him as he held the lady back. The crowd was backing up, watching the action but was distracted when the Maine came on stage.

“Hello Alabama!” John shouted

The guard was still trying to pry the lady off Jake, I heard Kenny go ‘woah’ into the microphone, it was faint so I don’t think he meant to say it into the mic. I looked up and every member of the Maine except for Pat who was seated behind his drums, was looking over the edge of the stage at us.

“You guys okay down there?” Kenny asked as Jared started playing the intro to girls do what they want.

“Yeah!” I yelled back as the SPIN lady was dragged away by security.

I heard one of Pat’s symbols crash when it wasn’t supposed to, meaning he had stood up when he heard me. Kenny disappeared from my view, probably to subdue Pat, as John started singing the song. As I hand Jake back his camera and we both started taking pictures before everyone else was let into the pit. I heard Pat’s drums start so that meant he had sat down and started playing again. The poor kid was probably freaking out right now. I dashed out of the pit early and went back stage just as Pat got off his drums because they were playing an acoustic song.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he gave me a hug.

I made a face at all of his sweat.

“Yeah, it wasn’t anything big, I’ll tell you later.”

He glanced at the stage to see where in the song his band was.

“Okay. I gotta go back now. I love you.”

I smiled at him as he turned and started to walk away.

“I love you too.”

He stopped and turned around. He gave me this look that said ‘you really mean that ?’ I just smiled as a huge grin spread across his face as he walked backwards to his drum set. I just followed Jake for the rest of the night, not wanting to have anymore in-counters with the blonde (although I had a strong suspicion that they had thrown her out.). After the show I went to the merch table and talked with Vanessa since we hadn’t had any real time to talk the past few days.