The Cynical Prince
002: Unwanted Birthdays
'My baby's cry...'
"Ma!" Tagan jumped up and down on my bed shouting at me to get up. I groaned and wiped the sleepiness away from my eyes. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. He was pale like me and had big blue eyes like mine also. Only his hair was a chocolate brown and straight much like his late father's. He looked a lot like his father and everyday it pained me to see his face but I loved him unconditionally.
I would always love my baby no matter what even though these past couple months have been hard on us we've been able to survive through the toughest times. I threw the covers off and made my way to the bathroom to relieve myself and brush my teeth, Tagan following me telling me all about what he did last night with auntie Stephie.
"Mommy! Can I pour my cereal?" He asked as I washed my face off and went into my bedroom to look for some clothes. I picked up a pair of purple tights with black shorts and a purple and gray stripped shirt to go along with it and pulled out my black boots.
"Sure honey, but wait for me if you want milk!" I yelled after him as he ran off into the tiny kitchen. I laughed shaking my head quickly placing on my clothes and then went over to my small vanity to place on some light make-up. Tagan came back with a bowl full of dry cereal and I chuckled as he picked at it with his hands.
"Mommy, you're pretty! You the most prettiest mommy in the whole wide world!" I smiled at him once I was done with my eyes and turned around to face him. I gave him a big kiss on his cheek and guided him back to the kitchen to pour him some milk.
"Here you go. Eat up, I'm going to go get your stuff and my stuff ready." Tagan nodded his head his mouth full of cereal and I went into the bedroom to get my bag and his. Tagan and I shared a room but I let him have half while I had the other half. On his fifth birthday my husband and I got him his own bed to put on the side and he was suppose to put up a wall for Tagan but was killed before he could even do it.
I looked over at his bag, still in the corner where he had left it that morning before he went off to work. Filled with his tools and sketches. I held back my tears reminding myself it had been a month since I had cried over my husband's death so there was no need to start crying now, especially when Tagan was in the other room. I grabbed my bag and Tagan's and walked back into the kitchen placing them on the chair next to him. He smiled up at me having finished his entire bowl and then hopping off his seat to put it in the sink.
"Okay, that's my good boy. Go get your sweater because it's going to be chilly." He nodded his head and ran into the room grabbing his small black hoody that had Jack Skellington on it from Nightmare Before Christmas and I grabbed my purple lumber-jack coat with my keys, phones, and wallet all inside.
"Ready for school?" He nodded his head as he picked up his small Transformers book-bag and I grabbed my own messenger bag placing my wallet inside there and opened the door of the both of us.
"Hey, mommy...I don't want to have a birthday party." Tagan said as he skipped down the stairs. I looked at him confused and quickly locked the door to follow after him. He didn't want a birthday party?
"Baby! Honey, wait!" I chased after him down the stairs and caught him right before the front door. He looked down away from me sadly. I grabbed onto his hand and opened the door to start our journey to school.
"Tagan, why don't you want a birthday party?" I saw him bite his lip, a nervous habit he sadly learned from me and looked up at me, tears glistening his deep blue eyes.
"Because daddy won't be there." A tear slipped down his cheek and I stopped walking. I scooped him up in my arms as he sobbed into my shoulder. I hushed him trying to sooth him and rocked him back and forth gently. His birthday was coming up soon and I wanted to do something special for him, but with his birthday came the first year anniversary of his father's death.
"Daddy wouldn't want that. He would want you to have a big party with all your friends. Daddy's watching over us to make sure we're happy okay? You don't want to make him sad in Heaven do you?" Tagan shook his head and smiled feebly at me.
"Okay mommy, let's have a party." I smiled at him and placed him back on the ground to continue our walk to school.
"That's my big boy!" Tagan giggled as I poked at his side and we made the rest of our way to school without any more tears.
My poor baby missed his father just as much as I did. I knew I had to make his birthday a special one, one that he would never forget.
"Ma!" Tagan jumped up and down on my bed shouting at me to get up. I groaned and wiped the sleepiness away from my eyes. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. He was pale like me and had big blue eyes like mine also. Only his hair was a chocolate brown and straight much like his late father's. He looked a lot like his father and everyday it pained me to see his face but I loved him unconditionally.
I would always love my baby no matter what even though these past couple months have been hard on us we've been able to survive through the toughest times. I threw the covers off and made my way to the bathroom to relieve myself and brush my teeth, Tagan following me telling me all about what he did last night with auntie Stephie.
"Mommy! Can I pour my cereal?" He asked as I washed my face off and went into my bedroom to look for some clothes. I picked up a pair of purple tights with black shorts and a purple and gray stripped shirt to go along with it and pulled out my black boots.
"Sure honey, but wait for me if you want milk!" I yelled after him as he ran off into the tiny kitchen. I laughed shaking my head quickly placing on my clothes and then went over to my small vanity to place on some light make-up. Tagan came back with a bowl full of dry cereal and I chuckled as he picked at it with his hands.
"Mommy, you're pretty! You the most prettiest mommy in the whole wide world!" I smiled at him once I was done with my eyes and turned around to face him. I gave him a big kiss on his cheek and guided him back to the kitchen to pour him some milk.
"Here you go. Eat up, I'm going to go get your stuff and my stuff ready." Tagan nodded his head his mouth full of cereal and I went into the bedroom to get my bag and his. Tagan and I shared a room but I let him have half while I had the other half. On his fifth birthday my husband and I got him his own bed to put on the side and he was suppose to put up a wall for Tagan but was killed before he could even do it.
I looked over at his bag, still in the corner where he had left it that morning before he went off to work. Filled with his tools and sketches. I held back my tears reminding myself it had been a month since I had cried over my husband's death so there was no need to start crying now, especially when Tagan was in the other room. I grabbed my bag and Tagan's and walked back into the kitchen placing them on the chair next to him. He smiled up at me having finished his entire bowl and then hopping off his seat to put it in the sink.
"Okay, that's my good boy. Go get your sweater because it's going to be chilly." He nodded his head and ran into the room grabbing his small black hoody that had Jack Skellington on it from Nightmare Before Christmas and I grabbed my purple lumber-jack coat with my keys, phones, and wallet all inside.
"Ready for school?" He nodded his head as he picked up his small Transformers book-bag and I grabbed my own messenger bag placing my wallet inside there and opened the door of the both of us.
"Hey, mommy...I don't want to have a birthday party." Tagan said as he skipped down the stairs. I looked at him confused and quickly locked the door to follow after him. He didn't want a birthday party?
"Baby! Honey, wait!" I chased after him down the stairs and caught him right before the front door. He looked down away from me sadly. I grabbed onto his hand and opened the door to start our journey to school.
"Tagan, why don't you want a birthday party?" I saw him bite his lip, a nervous habit he sadly learned from me and looked up at me, tears glistening his deep blue eyes.
"Because daddy won't be there." A tear slipped down his cheek and I stopped walking. I scooped him up in my arms as he sobbed into my shoulder. I hushed him trying to sooth him and rocked him back and forth gently. His birthday was coming up soon and I wanted to do something special for him, but with his birthday came the first year anniversary of his father's death.
"Daddy wouldn't want that. He would want you to have a big party with all your friends. Daddy's watching over us to make sure we're happy okay? You don't want to make him sad in Heaven do you?" Tagan shook his head and smiled feebly at me.
"Okay mommy, let's have a party." I smiled at him and placed him back on the ground to continue our walk to school.
"That's my big boy!" Tagan giggled as I poked at his side and we made the rest of our way to school without any more tears.
My poor baby missed his father just as much as I did. I knew I had to make his birthday a special one, one that he would never forget.