Dirty Little Secret

*POV Switch*

It’s time to go to the hotel, the first time we’re staying in one in weeks. I get my key and hurry off to my room; I can’t wait to lie down in an actual bed and not a bunk. I open up my room and drop my bag next to the bed, which I flop down on seconds later.

A knock comes at my door and I groan. I force myself up off of the bed and answer the door to see Chuck standing in the doorway.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

He walks in and takes a seat on my bed. “Sit down.”

I take a seat next to him. “Better?”

“Yeah… Sorry, I didn’t mean to order you around… I just… I’ve been thinking a lot.”

“Wow, Chuck, did you pull anything?” I kid.

He doesn’t laugh.

“Okay, not in the joking mood I see…”

“It’s just that this is something really serious.”

“What is it, Chuck?”

He takes a deep breath, taking my hands in his. “We’ve known each other for eight years. And for eight years I’ve been completely blind to how beautiful you are and how much I care about you.”

I stare at him, wondering if I should pinch myself to see if this isn’t just another one of my crazy dreams.

“I love you, Angelica. I know that now. I’m in love with you, and I want to be with you and this baby. I don’t want to go around just being your friend anymore and I want to be more than just an ‘uncle’ to this baby. I want to be here for both of you.”

“Chuck--”

He presses his lips to mine. “I love you,” he whispers, his hazel eyes locking onto my brown ones. “So what do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?”

I bite my lip, debating on my answer. Why am I debating? This is what I’ve wanted for eight years! Eight long, agonizing years! I’ve sat by and watched him date whore after whore, listened to him go on about his latest hook-up while he was in between relationships, picked up the pieces of his heart whenever it got broken, and now after all these years I’m getting what I’ve always wanted.

But if it’s what I’ve always wanted, why is it so hard to just say ‘yes’?

“Angel?” He coaxes my face up so I can look at him. “An answer, any answer, will do.”

“Chuck--”

“Is it Zack?”

“What?”

“Do you like him or something? You were awful friendly with him tonight. If there’s something going on with you two--”

“Chuck, there’s nothing between me and Zacky. I have nothing but platonic feelings for him. I just was getting over the shock of you saying that you love me...You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say those words.”

“So your answer?” he asks, a hint of a smile begins to play on his lips.

“Yes, Chuck, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

His smile grows wide and he pulls me in for another kiss. “You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me!”

I smile weakly.

“I love you.”

“Love you too…” I murmur, feeling a bit…uncomfortable. “Listen, I’m beat so I’m going to go to bed.”

“Okay.” He kisses me. “That sounds like a good idea; I’m beat too.”

It dawns on me that he wants to stay with me. A bit fast, don’t you think, Chuckles?

“Um, not to sound like a prude or anything but I don’t let a guy spend the night this early in the relationship.”

“Oh, right.” He looks embarrassed. “I’ll let you get your rest then.” He kisses my forehead and heads for the door. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

I get ready for bed, wondering if all this is just a dream. It sure seems like one. Chuck was the one who didn’t even want to help me out during the pregnancy at first and now he wants to be the baby’s dad? He went from showing no interest in me to suddenly wanting to be my boyfriend? It all seems like something only my crazy mind would cook up.

I decide to pinch myself to be on the safe side and the pain shoots through my arm. Okay, maybe I’m not dreaming…

I lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. You would think I’d be ecstatic right now. I’ve imagined what it would be like, the moment that Chuck asks me to be his girlfriend. I always pictured it differently; I wasn’t pregnant with another man’s baby, I wasn’t pregnant at all! I imagined that as soon as I had the chance I’d be on the phone with Myla telling her, and the whole world, the good news.

But in reality I am knocked up with someone else’s kid, and I’m not jumping up and down with joy, calling my sister and excitedly telling her what’s happened in detail, embellishing here and there. In reality I’m lying down in a hotel room, staring blankly up at the ceiling and contemplating what’s wrong with me.

In reality I’m wishing that I wasn’t Chuck Comeau’s girlfriend.

I dig through my stuff for my iPod and put the ear buds in. I press play and Seize the Day fills my ears. Of all the songs…

I close my eyes and let the music lull me to sleep.